So, this is very SPOILER HEAVY. If you don't want spoilers, then skip this post. Go read yesterday's!
(you were warned)
Ok, we're going now. :)
So I saw Episode VIII: The Force Awakens last week, and overall, I liked it. The dialogue was five million times better than in any previous installments, the effects were well done, the acting was solid, the music was great. I really liked the blend of old and new characters.
THAT BEING SAID: I have a list of questions. In no particular order:
- Where the HECK did the First Order come from? The Sith is gone, presumably, at the end of ROTJ (Episode VI), because the Emperor and Darth Vader are dead, and "two there are", Yoda tells us in the prequels. And that's it. There's not like a Sith Training Academy. You have a master and an apprentice--and both are dead. So there's no Sith, and presumably no one to run the Empire, because I'm pretty sure the Rebellion/Republic went after them with all the Power of the Force and we saw all those parties at the end of the Reworked Episode VI, Indicating that we were free from evil, Ding Dong the Witch is Dead, Etc.
So...First Order. Where did you come from?
- We know, from the prequels, that the Stormtroopers are basically disposable clones. Well, obviously, Finn is not a clone of Bobba Fett's Dad. So are we doing like a Lunar Chronicles thing and stealing them from their parents when they're born and basically brainwashing them into being Stormtroopers? (I'm not saying that HUGE PLOT HOLES aren't a part of the Canonical Star Wars Universe, because they are...)
- Also, Finn: When you were being trained as a Stormtrooper, what did you think you were going to be doing? Petting kittens?
- Why Do Rey and Luke want to get back to these crummy desert planets?! SERIOUSLY?!?!?! It's a DESERT! ( I know, I know: it's home. OK. Fine. STILL.)
- Why did Mark Hamill get top billing and the have precisely one scene, at the very end, with NO DIALOGUE? Also, why did he act like a Disney Princess and play the "this is all my fault, I'll run away now" card when Ben Solo/Kylo Ren Is turned....evil?
- Also, why is he living on Skellig Michael? Has he become an Ancient Irish Monk?
- Are Han and Leia divorced? Were they married to begin with, ever? If they were, does that make Han Galactic Royalty? If they're divorced: did they have irreconcilable differences? Is there no fault divorce in this galaxy?
- Why do the bounty hunters want Han and Chewie?
- Why did they get rid off/sell the Falcon?
- If they knew where the Falcon was all the time, why didn't they go get it?
- WHO is the crazy Supreme Leader Snoke? Is he REALLY a crazy huge thing, or is this like the Wizard? Pay no attention to the man behind the projection? Is he some sort of Sith derivative?
- Don't we NEED the Sith to balance the force? So are they really gone?
- Rey sure has a lot of power for never being trained as a Jedi. I mean, she almost took Kylo Ren down and he's supposed to be like, the MAN, here. (Random side note: He is MUCH more intimidating with the mask. Also, does he remind anyone else of Syndrome from Incredibles?)
- Which guy--Finn or Poe--is Rey going to fall for?
- I would've liked it if Han had said "If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine" before his son killed him. (Fathers and sons have SERIOUS issues in these movies.)
- Who makes up the Rebellion? WHY is there a rebellion, when they won? (That connects to the first question)
- Are there Ewoks in our future? I hope so. (This really isn't a serious question)
- Why are the Empire/First Order weapons so FREAKING EASY TO DEFEAT? "Oh, yes, it's completely unbeatable, except for this glaring error that is easily spottable by our enemies! Ha ha! And it's basically the same problem we had thirty some years ago! (No, we do NOT learn from our mistakes.) "
- Also, how does one turn a planet into a weapon? Without, you know, destroying said planet? (Yes, I know the planet was destroyed at the end of the movie.)
- How long do Wookies live?
- WHY would you have Daniel Craig in a movie and not SHOW us Daniel Craig? I mean, come on, JJ!
- Why don't the stormtroopers have better armor after all this time?
- Why does C3PO STILL think that everything is going to turn out badly? Come on, 3PO. Trust the humans and R2 and BB8 (who is AWESOME, by the way).
- Is Rey Luke's daughter? I want some massive Rey backstory, here. What is going on with parents leaving her, etc. Why do parents leave their kids so much in these stories? And if Rey is Luke's daughter, then who is Rey's mom? Who was taking care of her? Because I doubt she was scavenging parts and brining them to trade as a four year old. Is she some sort of crazy collection of Midichlorians that make her magical, or something?
- I still don't really know what a Midichlorian is.