Emily M. DeArdo

writer

7 Quick Takes

Seven Quick Takes--dance and a little simplicity

7 Quick Takes, simplicity seriesEmily DeArdoComment
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

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If you missed it, I did a Yarn Along earlier this week!

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Another thing I’ve been doing is going to dance class. Yes, I have started back, at a great studio, with a fabulous teacher. At the end of class on Wednesday night (in which I did a single pirouette, go me), I felt great. I called my sister afterwards and said, “That was such a great class! I have so much energy! I was pumped!”

“That’s what exercise is supposed to feel like,” Melanie said.

Well, shut me up. I guess I’ve been missing that for 37 years….

So I’ll be going to dance class on Wednesday nights from now on. Woo woo!


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I did have dance as a kid. But the only athletic goal I ever had was to get into pointe shoes, and I figured, since that’s the only athletic thing I’ve ever wanted, maybe I should….try to do that? So I’m trying.

I have a foam roller, a massage ball, and a theraband for working on foot and ankle strength. I am committed,!

And warm up booties! :)

Check out first position in the Bloch booties, y’all. :)

Check out first position in the Bloch booties, y’all. :)

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OK, before I talk about Simplicity, if you haven’t signed up for the email list, please do it? Because then you get all the fun book things first! (well, after my parents.) Go here! No spam! Promise!

(Already a subscriber? I love you! Mwah!)

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OK, so simplicity stuff.

September always makes me think about routine and rhythm and changes I want to make (hence, dance classes). And I thought, you know, I might as well write about these things. Because I think we can all use ideas on how to focus on what really matters, right? To give ourselves margin and to stop the crazy comparison game?

Now, I’m not married and I don’t have kids. I’m just gonna point that out. That makes some things easier for me—as in, I’m only responsible for myself and my own laundry. :) But at the same time, it also makes things harder, because everything is on me. I don’t have a husband to help me out.

That being said, I think that I can still share some things that I’ve found to be worthwhile. So I will share them with you!

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I’m so ready for pro football to start. I’m so glad college football has come back. Sports doldrums are over!

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I’ve been looking for some new movies to watch lately. What have you loved that I need to see? Share in the comments!

Seven Quick Takes--St. Rose and Staycation

7 Quick Takes, travelEmily DeArdo1 Comment
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

I.

Today is the Feast Day of St. Rose of Lima, a Dominican Tertiary! She is an excellent saint for our times.

II.

You may have noticed some blog silence round these parts—I tend to blog less in the summer. But we’ll be revving back up again, especially as book news comes out. If you want to know all the book goodness first, then sign up for my mailing list! (No spam. Only fun things. Pinky promise.)

III.

“OK, Emily, enough, tell me about staycation!”

OK.

So, we went to Colorado for my sister’s wedding in June, but, as you know if you’ve had a family wedding lately, they’re fun, but they’re work too—you have to make sure your clothing gets to the place unmolested, that your shoes fit, that the priest shows up, etc. etc. etc. And that you didn’t forget anything two thousand miles away. And I’d just finished the first draft of the manuscript. So yeah, I was beat when June was over!

I finally decided that I wanted to take a ‘staycation’ in August. I’d never done it, but it sounded like fun.

I made this a really cheap staycation. I did not have a masseuse come to my house, I didn’t hire a cleaning service to clean my house, and I didn’t get a room in a hotel (all of these are actual staycation suggestions I found on the internet. OK, folks. The hotel one was the only one I didn’t think was really out there. If you want someone to clean your house, fine, and that’s legit, but….as a staycation? I guess….anyway, I digress!)

I set a limited budget, and made a plan. That budget would encompass everything I wanted to do, just like a real vacation, except I was staying in town. Columbus has a lot of fun things! When my family goes on vacation to the beach, we normally eat out for one meal, and have the others at our beach house; I have a nice tea/coffee break in the afternoon; and I do a lot of reading. So all those things were incorporated as well.

IV.

Monday was sort of the planning day. Tuesday was when I ventured forth!

The first place I went was Franklin Park Conservatory and Botanical Gardens. They had several exhibits I wanted to see—a Chihuly installation (above and beyond what the conservatory already has, which is a lot), Blooms and Butterflies (where they release hundreds of butterflies into the Pacific Island Room), and a bonsai exhibit. It would also be a great time to sketch! So I packed up my sketching stuff and headed off to the conservatory.

(To see the gallery photos, swipe or use your arrow keys!)


I’ll have to take photos of my sketchbook pages so I can show you what I did.

It’s always a lot of fun going here. There are different “biomes”—Himalayan Mountains, Rainforest, Desert, and the Pacific Island Water Garden. The Bonsai exhibit was held in a different gallery, where it was very hot, because, glasshouse and it was 90 degrees. But it was still fun. I ate lunch here and grabbed a butterfly shaped silicone tea infuser to replace my tea balls that keep BREAKING!

After I had lunch and finished sketching, I went home, made some tea, read a bit, and then went swimming after dinner.


V.

Wednesday I took a trip to German Village. German Village is, as the name suggests, an area of town that was founded by German Immigrants in the 19th century. Many of the streets are still paved with bricks, and the houses showcase the original architecture. It’s also home to some of the city’s best eating!

I went to Schmidt’s, which was founded in 1886 and serves some pretty epic sausage. The thing about Schmidt’s is they don’t take reservations. So you either get here right when it opens at 11, you eat at off-times, or you just wait. OR, you come alone, like I did, and you eat at the bar, where there is usually no wait! Yay!

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After Schmidt’s, I headed to a local coffee shop and then to The Book Loft, which is an incredible independent bookstore built into an old house (or several!). It’s amazing. You could spend hours here, and you get all your steps in wandering around! :) Before cell phones it was interesting to go here with a group—you just sort of had to hope you’d find each other again. I think every book is 5% off, and some are really marked down, like more than half, or even 75%, so you can always find good deals here, and books that other places won’t have. It’s a little bit addictive. I sketched the fountain in their courtyard, and came home with some awesome Wizard of Oz magnets.

(If, somehow, you have missed my addiction to The Wizard of Oz— I have one.)


VI.

Yesterday I had tea with my friend Mary before she goes off to graduate school, and that was delicious, as always. (Cambridge Tea House is the best!)

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I also watched To Kill A Mockingbird and started watching Wizard, because it’s turning 80 on Sunday!

VI.

So that was my ‘staycation’. Today is the last day, and I’m having lunch with my dad this afternoon, which we do just about every week and I enjoy. (Last week it was lunch and shopping with mom, which was equally enjoyable!) This afternoon I’ll probably sketch a bit and knit and…do laundry. Which is part of a week-long vacation, anyway. :)

So that’s how I staycationed! Have you ever done this? Any questions about how I did it? Really, once I made a list of all the things I could do in town, it was hard to choose! (I might do one more thing tomorrow before Mass. We’ll see!




Seven Quick Takes--Easing Into August

7 Quick Takes, books, food, recipes, Seven Quick Takes, the bookEmily DeArdo2 Comments
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Linking up with Kelly!

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Hiya, August! Whew!

This summer has been sort of intense, at least June, and then July was sort of decompression, and now it’s August! In some places around here, the kids go back to school in two weeks!

So here’s what going on around Orchard House….

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My city has a farmer’s market every week in the summer and then once a month the rest of the year (it’s indoor then, too). And now I live essentially three minutes away from it, so yesterday I decided to check it out. There’s a vendor that sells meat from his farm! That made me really happy, so I bought a brisket (which I’ve never cooked, but hey, why not), and a pound of ground beef. I also bought tomatoes and candy onions, and I should’ve gotten a LOT more tomatoes so I could make sauce, but…..next week!

Fortunately the market runs weekly through September, so I have two months to stock up on stuff. Looking forward to that.

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I also made a few new recipes this week. I don’t really like to cook in the summer, but somehow in August my brain switches over and says, OK, we can cook now. No idea why. So I’ve made a few good things this week, all Barefoot Contessa recipes: chicken thighs in creamy mustard sauce (I subbed light sour cream for the creme fraiche), Israeli Couscous and Tuna Salad, and Raspberry Crumble Bars.

The topping is granola and some of the shortbread base.

The topping is granola and some of the shortbread base.

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In book news: I have a copy edited manuscript, and now I have to go over it to see if I want to make any changes (or to catch any glaring errors). So that’s due next week. It’s so weird to re-read what I’ve written…..I hope I don’t think it’s all awful and want to chuck it out. :-p

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We’re in a really busy section of the church year—there are so many feasts and saints’ days in August! And St. Dominic is next week!


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Here’s a look at the state of the To Read Stack:

WHEW!

WHEW!

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Also, if you’re looking for some daily spiritual reading, check out A Year With the Mystics. It’s not out until next month, but through an Amazon glitch, I got my pre-ordered copy early!



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It’s so beautiful, and it’s making for wonderful spiritual reading!

A Chatty Seven Quick Takes

7 Quick Takes, books, knitting, Seven Quick TakesEmily DeArdoComment
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Linking up with Kelly!

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This is for my musical theater nerds!

I was thinking this week what the best Rodgers and Hammerstein musical is. (show, not film. In that category it’s definitely The Sound of Music, because it’s a fabulous film and I think it makes the original material better.) My vote is for Carousel, by a smidge (because I do like South Pacific); my dad supports South Pacific, and there was a vote for The King and I.

I think Carousel is the best for a few reasons: a fabulous leading man part; four good female roles (Julie, Carrie, Nettie, and Mrs. Mullins); a glorious score; and good use of chorus. The chorus actually has opportunities to do things often, as opposed to The King and I.

Is it perfect? No. I don’t think we need “Stonecutters” (and I think that was axed from the last Broadway revival), the whole “yes, someone can hit you and it doesn’t hurt at all” thing (eeeeek!), and the ballet can be too long. But, I think that we wouldn’t have had West Side Story, or Fiddler, or really any sort of true musical drama, without Carousel.

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I started working with my Colonial Williamsburg yarn this week. Some of you may remember my extra special Yarn Along about that, and it’s taken me two years to figure out what to do with the yarn! So I’m going to do something simple, but, hopefully, historically accurate. I’m making a scarf, with slipped stitch edges, on size 8 needles. I didn’t want to do it on big needles because they didn’t have big (like, size 12) needles in Colonial times, I don’t think. But this yarn is thick, so I couldn’t do it on a small needle, like a size 5 or below. So I thought a scarf would be a practical, Colonial thing, and I have a lot of yarn, so it’ll be nice and long and warm.

The source of my yarn! Leicester Longwool sheep!

The source of my yarn! Leicester Longwool sheep!


-III-

Reading: I read Where the Crawdads Sing, * and I LOVED IT. I really want to discuss it with someone! Highly recommend it.

I’m currently reading about five million things, but I’m also really liking Greek to Me, * because it appeals to two sides of my personality: A love of ancient Greek myth and culture, and word nerdiness. And book nerdiness!

-IV-

A note on the Mueller hearings, but a NON POLITICAL ONE!

One of the things that bothered me about the coverage was that people kept saying that Mueller needed questions repeated, like this was somehow a slam on his intelligence or “with it”-ness.

Guys. No.

I am crazy sensitive about this, because, hello, hearing impaired. I hate asking people to repeat themselves because I know they’re thinking I’m a dim bulb, or not paying attention, or flaky, or something. But really, I want to make sure I understood you!

I don’t know if Robert Mueller is hearing impaired. But I do know that we really, really should stop thinking that if someone asked for something to be repeated, that they’re stupid or cognitively challenged or whatever.

-V-

Nothing new on the book front yet. But please sign up for the mailing list! Then you get all the delicious news first and there might be fun things for subscribers! (Well, there are fun things—two printables I designed—but maybe more than that, who knows!) Sign up!

-VI-

July is like sports doldrums. Sigh. Once Wimbledon is over I just languish until sports pick up again in August. I don’t really like the NBA, and I’m a Pirates fan, so that’s sort of like constant baseball futility, but oh well. August and football will be here soon!

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I also joined a book club! Well, I’ve done it before. It’s called Well Read Mom, but this time, I looked into joining a group in my area, and there is one! Yay! I really miss discussing books with folks. I’m obviously not a mom, but any lady can join these! I love this book club because it’s not just current lit. There’s spiritual reading, plays, essays, novels….all sorts of things! It delights my little heart. (And this year Little Women is one of the books, which is so appropriate for my Orchard House dwelling soul!) Have you ever joined a book club or wanted to?

*==I’m an Amazon affiliate, so if you buy a book through these links, I get a tinnnny bit of money, which helps keep the lights on over here! :)


Seven Quick Takes--writing, pro-life ministry, and Washer Monster

7 Quick Takes, Take Up and Read, life issues, the book, knittingEmily DeArdo1 Comment
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Linking up with Kelli!

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Around these parts this week:

Doing the best you can with what you have

Prime Day deals—Prime Day is over, but if you haven’t checked in with Take Up & Read lately, we have a lot of gorgeous studies! Maybe it’s time to start Christmas shopping?




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This is sort of a…well, a sad take. But.

On Twitter this week I saw a woman writing about how she didn’t know how to get a casket for her miscarried child.

The Trappist monks of New Melleray Abbey provide infant and child caskets free to families.

Free. Gratis. No charge.

Go here, and scroll down to “child”, and select a size.

These are beautiful handmade caskets. In addition to the caskets, the monks will plant a memorial tree for your child, and remember your child in a special Mass. The parents also receive a keepsake cross made of th same wood as the casket.

If you need one IMMEDIATELY, call them at:

888-433-6934

They answer the phone 24 hours a day.

They also have a child casket fund, where people can donate to support this ministry, here.

This is such a beautiful service they provide. I know it’s terribly hard to think about, but I have had friends who have lost children to miscarriage. This makes one part of it easier—you don’t have to make your child’s casket or fumble around at a funeral home. The monks will do it, beautifully, for free.




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The book skips along! It’s done with copy edits so my editor has it now and is working on it. No cover art yet but the minute I have it I’ll share with you (subscribers find out first!)




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This week I finished a long linen scarf I knit to use in the summer. I love it. It’s a gorgeous color. So I went to block it in my washing machine. I had run a test piece of linen before and it came out fine so I thought I’d be fine this time.

NOPE.

Washer Monster wanted to eat it.



But my lovely maintenance man here saved it! Yay!



Yay! It’s saved!

Yay! It’s saved!

I’m always amazed at how well linen blocks. It’s just great. Such a difference!


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I’m on an Emily Blunt movie binge lately. I watched The Devil Wears Prada and A Quiet Place this week and I’m going to watch Mary Poppins Returns tonight. (My movie BF Colin F. is in it too. I do love his movies.)

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Sometimes we live in Hoth, here in Ohio, and sometimes it’s in the 90s with a heat index giving us a temp of 114. Yeah, it’s that day. So, movie binging and working on house projects today!

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It feels hard to believe that July is half over and that Target has school supply displays up. When do the schools in your area go back? Ours tend to go back in the middle of August now, but they get out before June.




















Seven Quick Takes--Writing Updates, Birthdays, A Wedding....

7 Quick Takes, family, writing, the bookEmily DeArdo4 Comments
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

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If you missed it, my sister got married last week!

It was a beautiful day! I’ll have more about travel logistics up soon, as well as the second part of my April trip…..bad me, I know! I’m being a slacker blogger!



-II-

But I have a reason to be slacker blogger—it’s time for edits! Which means:


I got edits up to Chapter 11 (there are 15 main chapters, plus the prayer section, and the intro and preface, so 17 chapters and prayers) from my editor yesterday, so now it’s time to DIVE IN. So if it’s quiet around here, that’s why. Amuse yourselves by looking through the archives!

(Or buy Catholic 101! $5!)

-III-

So yes, I’ll be in the office, by Corgi corner, writing. :)

What is Corgi Corner?

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This. :)

It’s a Corgi Calendar that my friend Sarah sent me for my birthday, a card with a leaping corgi on the cover, and my Susan Branch Royal Corgi mug, because hello it’s THE BEST.

I fill the mug with tea, and I write. Corgi corner keeps me going!


-IV-

Happy First Day of Summer! It’s been so rainy here that when the sun is out I feel like Gollum:

It’s only going to be 75 today so not quite warm enough to swim, but warm enough to get outside and squint at the bright thing in the sky!

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We’re hitting the big Birthday Stride in our family: Dad’s birthday was on Wednesday, my new brother in law’s is today, my mom’s is tomorrow, mom and dad’s anniversary (their fortieth!) is on the 30th, and that’s also my grandma’s 89th birthday.

WHEW!

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The trip to CO was our big trip of the summer so the rest of the summer is delightfully free. Of course I’m working on edits because they’re due before the Fourth of July, but after that, who knows what’s going to happen? Well, other than clinic in July—the big yearly testing date, with CTs and bone density scans—and then my fourteenth transplant anniversary on the 11th!

-VII-

I also need to update you about books I’m reading but we’ll do that later…..I’ll add it to my blog list. In the meantime, tell me what you’re reading! I’m always looking for new titles to pick up!

Seven Quick Takes Of Random

7 Quick TakesEmily DeArdoComment
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

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This really is just going to be very random. No catchy titles this week. :)

ICYMI, here’s what’s been on the blog this week:

Yarn Along #90
Last Week’s Seven Quick Takes—You Are Not A Mistake


—2—

I’m getting a Stitch Fix box today! So I will have a post about that next week. I know it’s been awhile since I’ve done one, but one is coming soon! :)

—3—

This week has been sort of odd, one of those weeks that feels long and short, you know? It’s been so rainy here that I haven’t been able to swim much, but my little herb garden is going bonkers, so that’s good. I’m going to have to freeze a lot of basil!


—4—

Sort of going off what I wrote about last week, more thoughts: I like myself.

Now, don’t take that the wrong way. What I mean is, even if I could “remove” the CF from me, I wouldn’t, because then I wouldn’t be me. Does that make sense? I’d be someone else, and I rather like being me.


—5—

I guess that can segue into what’s been popular on Catholic Twitter this week, which is how you dress for church.

My mom never let my sister or I wear jeans to Mass. Or shorts. So I don’t wear shorts to Mass even now (I don’t really wear shorts, period). I have worn jeans, when I’ve been out doing other things and then gone to Mass, and on retreat I certainly wear jeans for all of the Masses except Sunday. But even then, they’re not “jeggings” or otherwise super tight.

The argument this time was about—shoulders.

Basically, ladies and gents, this is how I see it. If you’re going to Mass, dress like you’re meeting the mayor/president/queen/pope. You don’t have to wear a tiara or a poufy dress, but think about how you look and what you’re going to do. Even if you wear jeans, make sure they’re clean and not insanely revealing.

Although, I mean, if you want to wear a tiara, go for it….


Shorts—need to cover the business, guys. Come on now. Don’t wear something to Mass that is more appropriate for the beach or the boardwalk or Kennywood (amusement park in the ‘Burgh). If shorts aren’t at least covering your butt, then they are failing in their purpose, right?
But shoulders….yeah. OK. You can find sleeveless tank tops (tank tops! Not spaghetti strap camis!) that are fairly modest, like ones from Talbots. With these, you’re not showing an insane amount of skin, but you’re cool. In the summer, I love to wear my Land’s End Fit and Flare dresses (I wore one in my new headshots, which you’ll see next week!), but I put a cami under them, and generally a cardigan over them if I’m going to Mass. (If I’m just going out to dinner, say, I’ll still wear the cami/tank top under them, but not the sweater.)

But look folks. If it’s 90 some degrees, which it can be in my part of the world in the summer, and it’s that hot in church, the cardigan’s not even going to make it through the collect. Please make sure that the churches are appropriately cool so that I don’t faint from heat stroke if I’m wearing a cardigan over my dress.

(And yes—my mother’s home parish didn’t have A/C until I was in high school. So, yes, I know, we all survived without A/C. I don’t know. Maybe we were better adapted as a species, maybe we were just tougher, maybe we were just used to it, I got nothing. But I know that this girl is heat sensitive—thanks, prednisone!—, and so I’d rather not faint in the pew.)

When I dress for Mass, I’m not thinking about being an “occasion of sin” for the men in my parish. I’m thinking about dressing properly to see Jesus and to worship him. And yeah, proper dressing means that, to quote Mother Teresa, God probably doesn’t want to see so much of me. LOL.

Church isn’t the pool, folks.

So that’s all I’m gonna say about that. :-D I mean, really, it’s just common sense. And some fashion trends are just awful and we should all avoid them, right? Like the destroyed jeans look? What’s the deal there, y’all?

—6—

In the “Things the Church Does Well” file: helped invent sign language!


—7—

Like I said above, I should have my “corrected” (read: touched up) headshots next week and I will share them! Yay!!!! It was hard to choose the final winners but I hope you guys like them.

Seven Quick Takes--You Are Not a Mistake

7 Quick Takes, life issues, the bookEmily DeArdo1 Comment
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

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OK, It’s about to get really earnest and passionate in here, folks. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

With all the new pro-abortion laws coming out, the number of tweets I’ve seen, and articles I’ve read, about how mothers “need” to abort children who are disabled makes me want to scream. There’s nothing quite like the experience of being told that you are not worthy of living to make you really angry.


So we’re just gonna lay it all out here:

If you are a person with a “genetic anomaly”, like me:

You deserve to be here.

You are loved. You are here because God loved you so much that he wanted to create you. And here you are. You are not a burden. You are not a mistake. You are a beloved child of God.

Any one else who says anything else? Deserves to be smacked upside the head. (Verbally, at least.)

—II—

DO NOT give in to these people, my fellow genetic mutations. :) You are WORTH EXISTENCE. If I never write anything else, ever again, please remember that. Please remember that you are loved beyond all measure by God who created you.


-III-

Remember Pope Benedict:

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-IV-

OK, is that enough angst for you? And passion?

Because, seriously, folks. Seriously.


-V-

Onto other things! I have submitted my draft! YAY!!!! The first hurdle is cleared in the journey toward Real Bookdom! Yay!!!!!!

-VI-

If you just cannot wait until January to read a book of mine, Catholic 101 is available now and is five bucks!

-VII-

I have scrummy linen yarn sitting in my mailbox that I have to go fetch, so we’ll wrap this up. But remember.

You are not a mistake.


Seven Quick Takes--the book has a title, the Jane Re-Read, and summer kicks off!

7 Quick Takes, writing, current projects, booksEmily DeArdoComment

-I-

Hi everyone! Happy Memorial Day Weekend (if you’re in the U.S.)! It’s sort of the unofficial kick off to summer, so there will be barbecues and parties all over the place, and I begin the Great Jane Re-Read, where I re-read Jane Austen’s novels every summer. Want to join me? I’m starting with Sense and Sensibility.


-II-

In case you missed it, my book has a title! It’s a great one! I’m really excited! (Can you tell?) As soon as pre-orders open I will share it here. And, again, as a reminder: If you want book news first, before anyone else, sign up for the mailing list.


-III-

In other book-y news….

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Better Together is Take Up & Read’s new summer study! I just got my copy yesterday and she’s beautiful!

This book is all about Biblical Hospitality. Sometimes we get scared of hospitality, because we think we need to have the perfect house and the perfect food and the perfect playlist. That’s not what God calls us to do at all. Hospitality is simply sharing and gathering with people. We aren’t meant to do Christianity alone. Let’s get over the idea that hospitality has to be perfect!

This book would make a great summer study—I do hope you’ll join us!

-IV-

The big event of the summer is that my sister is getting married in Estes Park, CO, in June. So we’re all in the midst of preparing for that. I’ve got my packing list written but I haven’t actually started packing yet. And yes, I know I owe you a Denver travelogue, so that is coming, I promise!

-V-

This California bill is a terrible idea, on multiple fronts—if you live in California, email your reps about this?

The confessional has to be a place of absolute confidentiality. It just does. The state can’t mess with this, or it puts priests in a horrible position—they will either go to jail, or be excommunicated. And it put us, the laity, in a terrible position, because how can you be totally open in confession if you know the priest can repeat what you say? (Not that any priest worth his ordination would.)

No bueno, California! Stop it!

(article version of the video above here)

-VI-

Final edits for the book are being done! Well, not final final. Final as in, for the first draft. My editor will be getting me notes and I imagine next week will be a flurry of back and forth sending. :)

-VII-

And while Memorial Day is the kick off of summer in the U.S., let’s remember what it’s really about.




Seven Quick Takes--The First Draft Exists!

7 Quick Takes, Catholic 101, current projects, hearing loss, Seven Quick Takes, writingEmily DeArdo2 Comments
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

I.

The FIRST DRAFT EXISTS!

Yay!

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When I first got the contract information, the fact that Ave Maria wanted a first draft by June 1 was daunting to some people I talked to. “Can you do it in two months?”

HELL YES I CAN.

II.

Why was I so confident?

Because I have journalism training. And political training.

And when you have both of those, you learn to write quickly, on ridiculous deadlines.

Deadlines? WHAT DEADLINES.

So, thank you to Professor Kelly Messinger in college for all the Chimes Wednesday nights where we ate Chipotle and wrote into the wee hours! And edited! And wrote! And edited!

III.

Now, that doesn’t mean it’s always easy, because sometimes….


But then I apply my Maxim: You cannot edit a blank page.

Get anything on the page. Anything. Let it sit there and then come back later and edit it. You never know what can happen.

Chapter 10, for example? WENT OFF THE RAILS. I had no idea where I was going with that one, and we went somewhere I had not anticipated. But there it is!

(It might not stay the way it is. LOL.)

IV.

Speaking of writing—my ebook, Catholic 101, is now $5!

That’s it. Five bucks, y’all.

Go get it!


V.

I also promise to have the Denver travel posts up next week. This week was just nuts, with getting the first draft done….oh, and getting a new CI processor!!!!!!!

VI.

So, if you want more on the CI, you can visit my series here. Basically I was glad to have hearing, but the processor I had had shortcomings. I couldn’t use the phone.

Now….I might be able to use the phone! I mean, what?!

I can listen to my voicemails and understand them!

So far, this new processor is a game changer.


VII.

Oh, one more thing about the draft—a question I’ve been getting a lot is, “Well, didn’t you have to write the book before you submitted it?”

Short answer: No. Most places, for non-fiction, want a proposal, with a chapter sample, but not the whole book. I’ll talk more about the parts of the process later (especially in my newsletter!). But, no. I had to write the book to the proposal specs.




Seven Quick Takes--manuscript work, mammogram redux, and sketching!

7 Quick TakesEmily DeArdo1 Comment
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

-1-

First off, if you missed it, earlier this week I wrote about how you can’t snap out of depression.
I
f you think you can do that, please read that post.

If you don’t think you can do that, please read that post.
Mental health is so important, and we, as a society, need to realize that it’s just as real as any other illness.

-2-

I know I promised y’all a Denver/Colorado travel write up. It’s COMING. I swear. I’m in the weeds on the manuscript because I need to have it all written by next Friday for my editor. There are only two more chapters to draft! YAY!!!!!

So once all that goes to my editor extraordinaire, then we edit, edit, edit, and polish, for two weeks, before we send it to the publisher.

-3-

In OTHER book news, I will have a pub date by the end of the month!


If you are a blog subscriber, you will get the news first. Everyone else will hear AFTER YOU.

So, if you want all book news first, plus the chance to have access to fun book things (yet to be determined, but totally fun), then sign up for the mailing list.


-4-

In the last edition I wrote about my first mammogram. Wellllllll…..

We had to do it again. Because there was something in the picture that the radiologist thought was me moving, although both the tech and I were like, there was no moving.

Anyway. Went back yesterday to take the pictures again, and this time, they are fine, both in quality and in terms of what’s there. So, normal! Yay!

All that to say, again: Ladies. Get your mammograms when you need to. Whether that’s 40, which is the normal recommendation, or earlier (if you have family history of breast cancer), do it.


-5-

Some of you may remember that I dabble in sketchbook keeping. Well, I’m back to that! Yay! I’m really glad because I enjoyed it, and I just haven’t had time to do it. I really kickstarted myself during the trip to Colorado, and now I’ve been working pretty steadily on filling books. Most of my work isn’t amazing, but you know, I’m happy with it. And it’s fun, which is important.

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-6-

I’m also working on some long-buried knitting projects, like a linen kerchief I started years ago when I was first learning to knit. Guys: DO NOT START WITH LINEN! Seriously! It’s fine now because I’ve had years of practice, but man, what was I thinking?!?!

-7-

Anddddd also!

If you’re looking for a scripture study for this summer, or maybe a summer bible study for you and your friends, may I suggest Take Up & Read’s new book, Better Together?



Better Together.jpg

This book is about hospitality, and summer is such a great time for that! Have people over! Embrace community! All the good things!

Anyway, more about this book is coming, but you can order it now! It has all the lovely features you expect from our studies: daily readings, Scripture memorization, Selah days on the weekends, and recipes!

Seven Quick Takes--Colorado, Mother's Day, and Mammograms

7 Quick Takes, travel, current projects, health, the bookEmily DeArdo4 Comments
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

-1-

I was in Colorado last week (hence why no blog posting!) for my sister’s bachelorette weekend. I’d never been to Colorado before!

One of the floral butterflies in Downtown Denver

One of the floral butterflies in Downtown Denver

The Collegiate Peaks in Buena Vista

The Collegiate Peaks in Buena Vista

Mel and I at Mt. Princeton Hot Springs.

Mel and I at Mt. Princeton Hot Springs.


—II—

I’ll write more about Denver next week, but here’s what I learned, in short, about going to altitude:

Drink a lot of water. Like, insane amounts.
Bring saline nasal spray. My nose was SO dry!
Bring a portable charger, because altitude seems to drain phone batteries faster
SUNSCREEN. ALL THE SUNSCREEN.

—III—

Our trip included Denver (my sister lives in Littleton) and Buena Vista, where the cabin weekend was held. I didn’t realize it was sort of desert-y down there. I should’ve expected it, but some how, I didn’t. I had never been in that sort of environment before, so it was definitely a new experience. I learned that I like green!

—IV—
Anyway, more on CO next week. It’s been awhile since I’ve done some travel posts, so it’ll be fun!

—V—

Amy Welborn wrote a great piece about Mother’s Day and parishes, and I’d encourage you to read it.
Mother’s Day is, to put it nicely, fraught. I really don’t think it should be celebrated as part of the Mass. Mass is for the worship of God, not for the worship of ourselves. If parishes want to do something for mothers (or graduates, or whatever), then they can do it after Mass. Blessings, etc.? After Mass.

I know so many people who are struggling with infertility. I, myself, will never have children. Let’s also think about people who have lost their mothers, or have not-great relationships with their mothers, or have other issues with their moms. Let’s realize this. Sure, mothers are important! (Love you, Mom! :) )

But do we need to make it such a big part of the Mass?

Same thing with Father’s Day. And also, I don’t think we do Father’s day nearly as much as we do mother’s day.

Celebrate your mom, but parishes, please do this after Mass.

And for the love of the Lord, do not make people hug their mothers at Mass! (see the comments in the article for that one.)

(And yes, I love my mother. :) This isn’t about not loving Mom!)

—V—

And because it’s my blog, I’ll expound a little more. One of the comments at the bottom of Amy’s post was all about “celebrating” at Mass. Having visitors stand up, or graduates be recognized, or birthday people be recognized.

I got one word for this:

NOPE.

People. Mass is not the time for this.

Mass is for THE WORSHIP OF GOD.

If you want to recognize birthdays, do it in a bulletin.

You want to recognize the grads? Have a reception in June after a Mass.

I CRINGE at the thought of making visitors stand up. I hate this. Why do you think a visitor would want to be recognized?! And what does that have to do with Mass? (This visitor never wants to be recognized. Ever. Just let me come to Mass.)

Yes, I realize I’m an old and cranky person here.

But I think it was Benedict XVI who said something like, if we’re applauding during Mass, we’ve completely lost the plot. (I’m paraphrasing, obviously)

Mass is not about us.

If you want to celebrate community things, that’s great. Do it after Mass.

—VI—

Well, that felt good. LOL. .

Writing of the book is going well. My next newsletter for subscribers should be sent out next week, so if you’re not a subscriber, do it now!

I’m 2/3 of the way done with the manuscript. This week has been some hard sledding but you know, the important thing is to get words on a page. So that’s been happening. You can edit words on a page. You can’t edit a blank one.

—VII—

I also had my first mammogram this week. My mom had breast cancer at age 47, so I had to get my baseline done 10 years before her diagnosis—hence, at 37. Since I turned 37 last month, it was time.

I was nervous about it—I’d heard horror stories about it hurting, especially with transplant scars (this might be TMI, but—for my transplant, the incisions are about where a bra underwire is).

But I had a great, careful tech, who made sure that nothing was pinching, and it wasn’t really bad at all. Yeah, the skin is being squished, but that didn’t really hurt.

Ladies—you need to get a mammogram at age 40. You might have to do it earlier, if you’re like me and have family history. Please, please, please check your own screening requirements and set this up.

(And finally, if you missed it, there was a yarn along on Wednesday!)




Seven Quick Takes In a Deluge

7 Quick Takes, current projects, Seven Quick Takes, Orchard House, hockeyEmily DeArdoComment
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

I.

OK, so, first, I’m thrilled to tell you that the talk I recorded for Kelly’s conference has been accepted! Yay! I’m part of the speaker’s library that attendees will have access to!

What is this conference, you might ask? Kelly has created a conference for Catholic parents of kids with special needs, called “Accepting the Gift.” You can attend in person, OR (and I love this part), you can attend virtually! How cool is that? So if you can’t make it to New Jersey, you can still attend!

Here is the conference page, so check it out! And do attend!


II.

This is also the first talk I’ve done as an adult—I did a witness talk at my parish mission when I was sixteen—but I really do like my talk, all things considered. :) It’s called “Joy Anyway”, and it’s about living life with a chronic illness, because, a lot of the time, we hear from the parents of people like me, but not the actual people who have the illness, and so I’m thrilled that Kelly asked me to contribute my thoughts, because I do care about this quite passionately, as you all know. :)

And of course I love the parents! Parents are awesome! But it’s important to get the perspective from the person with “the thing” as well, in my book. So, thanks Kelly for asking me! (And accepting the talk!)


III.

OK so yeah, it’s deluging here right now. Lots and lots and lots of rain being dumped on Orchard House at the moment. I overslept this morning and this is probably why, because it’s really dark outside. Not that I mind—I generally like rainy days.


IV.

Today is part of the editing process in the writing of the book. My editor has sent me chapters back, and now I go through and play with them and see what I can do to make them better. Some of the changes I just accepted on the first go round because they were easy (like, adapting to the press’s style guide) or just made sense. Bigger changes require more thought and distance, so that’s what I’m doing today.


V.

My birthday was on Tuesday, so I’m thirty-seven now! And it was a gorgeous day, which is rare in central Ohio in early April—it snowed on my birthday (as in the day I was born). But yesterday it was 82 and kids were in the pool, which made me shiver just seeing them in there, because that water was going to be cold!

ANYWAY (digression over!), it was a good birthday with sun and good food.

No, Emily did not eat all this cake. Emily did not come  close  to eating all this cake. We shared it. :)

No, Emily did not eat all this cake. Emily did not come close to eating all this cake. We shared it. :)


VI.

I also think that everyone should like their birthday. Because birthdays mean you survived another trip around the sun! Yay!!!!!! Birthdays are great! I mean, yeah, I’m thirty-seven, but to me, that’s sort of awesome. I wasn’t supposed to hit thirty-three. I wouldn’t have seen twenty-seven without Suzanne, my donor. So, yeah. Birthdays rock.

VII.

It’s hockey playoff time, and Dad and I are going to see the Jackets play the Tampa Bay Lightning on Sunday! This has been a bucket list item for me for awhile—seeing an NHL playoff game. The nice thing is that since the Jackets are playing Tampa, I can unreservedly root for them. When they play the Penguins in the playoffs (as they’ve done before), I can’t do that, I’m torn! But now, I can root for them all the way. It’s going to be great! The Jackets have all sorts of things planned—there’s a big plaza in front of the arena so there will be activities, and the arena opens up earlier than usual so people can head in and start the party. I hope the Jackets win! (They won the first game on Wednesday in Tampa in an amazing comeback. They play tonight. Pens are down one game to none against the Islanders. If you don’t care about hockey, I’m sorry this take was all hockey. :) )

Seven Quick Takes--House Updates, Writing, Hockey

7 Quick Takes, behind the scenes, current projects, the book, Seven Quick TakesEmily DeArdoComment
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

I.

So, first, the Penguins are in the playoffs for the thirteenth year in a row. This makes me happy.

(If you’re new here—I’m a huge hockey fan. The Penguins are my “main” team. The Blue Jackets are my “home” team and I want them to make the playoffs too, which they will do if they win one of their next two games.)

II.

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Orchard House is in the stage of “personalization” or “zhushing” as they say on Home Town. I’m putting up pictures and other fun things, like my refreshed ribbon board in my bedroom:


III.

If you want to see how tiny Emily was in college, here’s my college ID closeup, along with one of my favorite magazine cutouts:

IMG_8597.JPG

IV.

And about the button. It says “Italians for President Nixon.” Now, obviously, I wasn’t alive to vote for Nixon. But one of my best friends, Branden, is an auctioneer (as well as about 5 million other things, including our county clerk), and he loves political memorabilia, so he thought I’d like it, since I’m half Italian. And I do like it. It’s funny.

V.
The big pink piece of paper is an audience ticket my friend Amilia gave me. She was lucky enough to attend a general audience with Pope St. John Paul II, and she gave me the ticket. You can tell I’ve had it FOREVER, it’s all sun bleached, but I love it.

VI.

The dog picture? That’s Liberty, who used to be Colonial Williamsburg’s mascot. I was so psyched to meet her when we visited two years ago! She was such a good dog!

VII.

I could keep telling stories, but I’ll wrap up with a writing update! (Maybe next week I’ll tell more stories? What do you think? Because everything on this board has a story!)

So I’ve sent chapters 1-4 to my editor. She has sent me edits for chapters 1-2. So we are really making progress! Yayyyy!





Seven Ways To Bring Joy To Your Day

7 Quick TakesEmily DeArdoComment
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

So after my last post, I thought it might be helpful to give you some concrete ways to bring joy to your days when that might REALLY be lacking. So, here we go!

I.

Iris Murdoch said that, “One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats.” So, that’s how we’re looking at this. Small treats!

The first one: Eat your favorite meal. Do the comfort food thing. One meal (and I do mean one) isn’t going to send everything into a tailspin. For me, it’s usually Chuy’s or pasta carbonara. Eat something you enjoy. And enjoy it, while you eat it.

II.

Take a lunch break. When I was working full-time, a lot of my days were…rough. So I would go to Barnes and Noble on my lunch break. Even if I didn’t buy anything, just getting out of the office and into a place that I loved was a great way to reset my day and give me energy to get through the rest of the day.

III.

Go to Eucharistic Adoration. Just sit with Jesus. You don’t have to do anything. Just be there and rest in his presence.

IV.

If you’re not near a chapel, then take some time to pray—a decade of the rosary, reading the Bible, whatever works for you.

V.

Read your favorite book or watch your favorite movie. Say, “tonight is movie night. I’m going to go home and watch my favorite movie and eat popcorn and it’ll be great.”

VI.

Have something to look forward to. Schedule lunch with a friend, make a date to see a movie (even if the date is with yourself, there is nothing wrong with that!), but get something on your calendar that makes you happy, even if it’s something small.

VII.

This doesn’t always work for me, but it might work for some of you—do something physical. That can mean working out, but for me it can also mean playing the piano or singing or even knitting. Do something that moves your body and makes you focus on something else. Sometimes just saying to myself, I can work on that knitting project, or I can do yoga class on Friday, is really helpful.


These are just a few suggestions of things that work for me. I hope they help you!





Seven Quick Takes from the New Place

7 Quick TakesEmily DeArdoComment
seven quick takes.jpg

linking up with Kelly!

I.

Recent posts from these parts:

Meet Orchard House
The contract came!

II.

This video is right on, in all ways:

“That’s compassion!”

“That’s eugenics.”

III.

New desk here. For your Home Town fans: quarter sawn white oak, yo!!!

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IV.

There are two more boxes that need unpacked, but everything has been sort of a blur this week so I’m sort of delaying that. A bit. Maybe. :)

V.

I had clinic on Monday and things are pretty good. lung function is stable. My A1c (a measure of sugar in your blood, over time, to put it really basically) is trending upward, though, so that means I’m going back to checking my blood sugar a few times a day, and we’re going to tweak the diet. Yay. My enthusiasm is noted. Essentially, the last three months were stress-tastic so there was stress eating and all sorts of other not-great health decisions, so I have to be much more disciplined in this area.

Well, it is Lent. So being penitential is cool right now. So, into the gym and into a stricter diet I go….

VI.

I re-read the Ramona Quimby books this week, because Ramona is good comfort reading, right? :) She’s also good quick reading.

VII.

I lived in my old place for about 14 years, so one of the things I have to get used to now is new traffic patterns/timing. I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to get places anymore, because new traffic over here! So that’s been a little stressful since I had two doctor’s appointments this week (the above mentioned clinic and my dermatologist). But I know I’ll figure it out…eventually.



Seven Quick Takes--Bits and Pieces

7 Quick TakesEmily DeArdo4 Comments
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

—1—

So the month of February has been STRESS CITY and I’m glad it’s over and I’m back to sleeping properly. :) I had to record a talk, which I was nervous about, and then I had book proposal stuff to do, and then I have MOVE stuff to do, and while all this stuff is good stuff, it’s also a lot, so whew. But things have calmed down a bit and I’m back to being stressed but not insanely so.

—2—

The book proposal is going to the publisher groups today for them to look over. Please pray for it?

—3—

One of the reasons I think I was stressed is that I couldn’t knit! I was waiting for a special order of yarn to come in so I could get back to my knitting project, and now that it has, I can knit again!

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It looks sort of messy because of all the little tails, but it’ll be fine. :) This is the Feile shawl, which uses a variegated yarn and a solid color. It’s a really easy pattern and already I’m thinking about the variations I can do on this theme.

The yarn is INCREDIBLY yummy—it’s Frabjous Fibers Wonderland Yarns, Mad Hatter base (sport, which is a little heavier than the fingering yarn that’s called for). The speckled is in Victorian China, and the blue is Muchness. It’s a gorgeous blue, really sort of blue violet, bluebell-y color, and I adore it. I could wear this color all the time! So I have a feeling this shawl is going to get a lot of wear.

—4—

Moving is rapidly coming up and I’m in the stage where I want to throw out everything except books and yarn and tea and just start again. :-P (Well, and my bed. ETc.) There are boxes and bags everywhere, it’s definitely chaotic around here!

—5—

I’m really late to the party but I’ve been watching Best Picture nominees (Green Book won, if you missed that). I’ve seen Black Panther and A Star Is Born so far, and Roma is next.

Black Panther was….good, but not Best Picture good, in my opinion. I’m not really a Marvel comic book person so watching the movie I had to infer a lot, which I generally don’t like, but I understand I’m not the target audience. I loved the costumes and the sibling relationship was the best part. But the actual action seemed….slow, to me. I know, again, I’m not the target audience. But not good.

—6—

I did, however, really like A Star Is Born, and I didn’t think I would, because I am loyal to the Judy Garland Version, and it’s still a better version because, hello, “The Man That Got Away” and freaking Judy Garland. BUT—this version was good. Good pacing, I surprisingly liked the music, and the acting was solid, even remarkable at times.

Yes, there was too much swearing.

BUT, I really did like this movie. Last scene? Total goosebumps.

—7—

Do you have Hosanna for Lent yet? Go get it!


Seven Quick Takes!

7 Quick Takes, Catholicism, Take Up and Read, writing, LentEmily DeArdo2 Comments
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

—1—

Lent is coming soon! (It’s in a little over a month, if you can believe it.) Take Up & Read has a beautiful new book for Lent, focusing on the Gospel of Matthew, called Hosanna.

hosanna cover.jpg


We have new writers, some new design and prayer pages, and all sorts of other goodies that you can read about here.

Making it EVEN BETTER is that right now the book is ON SALE! That’s right—price drop! We don’t know how long this will last, so go grab your copy!

I love the gospel of Matthew, so I was thrilled to contribute an essay to this book. I’m sure you’ll love it!

—2—

Did January feel like it lasted FOREVER to anyone else? Whew. I’m glad that month is over. February always feels like it moves pretty quickly, but it’s also the last full month before my move, so it feels like time moves even faster.

—3—

I’m still Kon Mari-ing the house. I’ve done clothes, books, papers, and I’m in “komono” (AKA EVERYTHING ELSE), but even that is moving well so I should have that done in the next week or so. Yay!!!!

—4—

A brief bit of policy wonkery (if you’re new here, I worked for the state government for ten years, so in a past life I lived, ate, and breathed policy wonkery). This really isn’t about policy, per se, as it is about common sense:

If you are contacting a representative about a policy proposal that you support or do not support, please remember to be respectful, to be brief, and to contact your representative. Please don’t call a representative that doesn’t represent you (as in, you live in Ohio, but you’re calling a senator from Colorado or Hawaii). This irritates the staffers and does not make them happy. They want to know what their constituents think. Not what everyone in the country thinks.

And if you call your elected representative for any reason, please be nice to the person on the phone. It is not that person’s fault that you are having issues with whatever you’re having issues with. If you are mean, that does not make them want to help you! Do not make the person answering the phone cry with streams of curse words! STOP IT!

—5—

Do you re-read books? Please tell me you do. To me, half the fun is in re-reading. I read so quickly that if I didn’t re-read, I’d be really bored. Re-reading is good!

—6—

My friend Richelle asked me if I’d read all of Dickens’ novels. I haven’t'; I’ve read 10 of his 15 novels (A Christmas Carol is considered a novella, and I have read that as well). The last five I have to read are Nicholas Nickleby, Barnaby Rudge, Martin Chuzzlewit, Our Mutual Friend, and his unfinished The Mystery of Edwin Drood.

If you’re looking to start reading Dickens (he’s not my favorite, but he is an important writer), I’d suggest starting with A Christmas Carol, Oliver Twist (because just about everyone knows the basic story), and A Tale of Two Cities, which is one of my favorites. These are all pretty short, too, which is a plus, given that some of his novels are the size of bricks.

—7—

I’m also watching Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat on Netflix. The series is good, but he book is even better (same title), because it EXPLAINS THINGS, like why you should boil potatoes in salt water before you roast them! I had always wondered about this and now I know. (It’s because you get the salt in to the potatoes—if you just roast them, then you toss salt on top of them and that doesn’t really penetrate said potato).

Seven Quick Takes--Groundhog, Give Me Spring

7 Quick Takes, goal setting, Seven Quick Takes, writingEmily DeArdoComment
seven quick takes.jpg

inking up with Kelly!

—1—

There is no way I will complain about 100 degrees this summer. Nope. No way, no how.

—2—

(Athough, extreme heat does make it hard for me to breathe…..but so does extreme cold. But it’s EASIER in the heat, to do things like take out trash. :) And get the mail. I can just go out and do it quickly. In the winter, it means boots, hat, gloves, scarf, big coat…..it’s a production, similar to:


—3—

Should we talk about February goals? Sure, let’s do that. I’m still doing the contentment challenge, (the first month went well! I am proud of myself!), I sent out the book proposal (SQUEEEEE), I saved money for my emergency fund, went to confession, and I did pretty well getting into my Bible every day! I only missed FIVE DAYS all month, which is pretty awesome, guys. I’m happy about that.

—4—

For this month:

Monthly goals: Contentment Challenge month two; more to emergency fund, finish Kon Mari-ing the house (I’m almost there! In the komono category right now, which is basically everything in the house that isn’t clothes, books, papers, or sentimental items. It’s a lot, to put it mildly), go to confession, and attend the Columbus Catholic Women’s Conference!

—5—

Weekly goals:

Contentment Challenge devotional reading; meal plan; blog; artist date (part of The Artist’s Way—going out once a week to do something fun, that fills the creative well in you—it’s been hard with this weather but I”m trying!), and a holy hour.

—6—

Daily goals:

Examen before bed (basically examination of conscience), exercise (I just signed up for YogaGlo again. I did that last year and it was REALLY helpful for me, so back we go!), keep a food journal, and reconcile my checkbook every morning (I use the Every Dollar program for this).

—7—

And finally, some cute Corgis and Harry Potter (thanks to my friend, Abby, for showing me this!)


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Seven Quick Takes--Stories from the Loony Bin

health, 7 Quick Takes, transplantEmily DeArdoComment
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

I’ve been wanting to write this post for awhile. Today’s a good day to do it, because this week, New York State passed the most incredible abortion “rights” law—a baby can be aborted essentially any time up to birth. If the mother wants that to happen.

Any time. We’re not talking about babies that aren’t viable here. We’re talking about babies that could be a week away from delivery.

(And be sure to read that post for the definition of “health of the mother” that the law used. It’s….interesting.)

Anyway. I am mad about this, of course. But at the same time, I feel like I need to write something funny to counteract this insanity that caused the state of New York to light up One World Trade Center pink to “celebrate” this law passing.

Look, my life hasn’t been a picnic. But at the same time, sometimes plain funny things have happened because of it. So, I present, tales from the loony bin.

(c) Erica Kay Photography. This year’s Christmas card photo.  L-R: Me, my mom, Sarah (new SIL) , Bryan (my brother), Dad, Melanie (my sister), Jason (her fiance)

(c) Erica Kay Photography. This year’s Christmas card photo. L-R: Me, my mom, Sarah (new SIL) , Bryan (my brother), Dad, Melanie (my sister), Jason (her fiance)

(Just a note before we start: some of the medical technology has changed. So you know, don’t go that’s not how these things work!)


-1-

Back in the day, I did a lot of home IVs. Basically, it’s IV meds you give at home, so I didn’t have to be stuck in the hospital for 2-3 weeks and could go to school and have a life. But that also meant that sometimes, there was a learning curve.

IVs have to be kept sterile—you can’t get them wet, you have to protect them. Now, when I first did home IVs, I would climb trees with an IV, but you know, I was young! :)
Anyway one time, the cap—the thing that protects the end of the IV line—got stuck. We couldn’t get it unattached, and this was bad, because then we couldn’t give the meds I needed.

So dad decided the best way to fix this was….with a pair of pliers. From his tool box. Grimy, gritty, dirty pliers. On a sterile IV line.

He came into my room with the pliers and I backed myself into a corner like a freaked out animal. “GET AWAY FROM ME!”
”What? We have to get the cap off!”
”At least clean them first! Use the alcohol wipes!”
(Fortunately, we could replace the tubing bit. We didn’t have to resort to the pliers.)


—2—

The night before my algebra II final my junior year, I woke up in the middle of the night. No, not because of Law of Cosine nightmares. I felt something wet.
I rolled over and saw that the sleeve of the t-shirt I slept in was bloody. Like, soaking with blood.

At the time, I had a PICC line in (peripherally inserted central catheter—basically a line that wasn’t under my skin, like my port is now, but went into a deep vein, so if we had problems with this, they became large problems.)

I ran into mom and dad’s room. “I’m bleeding.” Mom grabbed a towel and we went back to my room, applying pressure. Dad stumbled in with the cordless phone (this was 1999).

We called the direct line to Children’s and were put on hold while we waited for someone to answer our question. Were we going to have to go to the hospital? Was this really bad?

It’s around 2 AM, the lights are on in the hallway, and my brother and sister are standing in the doorway. Mom and Dad are arguing—what should we do? Should we do this? Should we do that?

At some point, Mom calls my dad something not nice.

And then we hear, “hello?”

We hadn’t muted the phone. The person on the other end had heard the entire argument.


—3—

Sometimes, though, it was a little funnier. Like the time Mel and I decided to use unused saline (salt water) syringes as squirt guns and pelt my brother with them. “Stop it! You’re going to kill me! What is that stuff?!”

“It’s water.”

“Oh.”


—4—

You know that you’ve passed the point of a normal family when going to the ER in the middle of the Super Bowl—which your favorite team is in—isn’t really cause for angst. The Steelers were playing the Packers in Super Bowl 45, and I started to get the lovely feeling of heart arrythmia.

“We have to go to the hospital,” I told my mom during the first quarter.

At halftime, we went. We went to the special area of the ER, doctors buzzing around me, the normal stuff happening. Dad is on his phone checking the score.

“We’re going to lose,” he mutters from the corner.

We did lose. But we got to watch the Puppy Bowl in the ICU!

—5—

Right before my transplant, my doctors were pulling every medical rabbit out of the hat to keep me alive. We were trying every drug we could think of, anything to keep me stable. Forget about improvement, we just didn’t want to get worse.
One of those drugs (another IV med) had to be constituted by us, meaning that it came as a powder, and we had to add the saline. This was rather difficult for some reason, because the force needed to get the saline out of the bottle, into the syringe, and then the saline IN to the med, was quite a bit. WE had jerry rigged some contraption onto the kitchen cabinets to try to give my dad and brother more leverage, because they were the only ones that could do this.

So I came home from work (granted, work was mostly just sitting at my desk—I really couldn’t do a whole lot at this point) and find my brother mixing the 3:00 med dose. I put down my bag

CRASSSSSHHHHH!!!!! SHATTER!!!!!!!!!

I look up. Bryan is holding the syringe, dumbfounded. The glass bottle had exploded all over the floor from the force of the saline trying to go into it.

All I could do was laugh.


—6—

This one has entered family lore:

I had pancreatitis—well, I had pancreatitis a lot. It wasn’t one of those things where I had to get to the ER toute de suite, but I was in a lot of pain.
Dad and I were in the car and stopped at the stoplight at the end of our road. One car was in front of us. We wanted to turn right, but this guy either wanted to go straight or was waiting for an invitation to turn (you know those people).

Dad revs the engine, and jumps the curb. Seriously. Drove the car right over the curb, scraping the bottom of the Accord, a tremendous nails on the blackboard sound.

Now whenever we’re behind someone in that situation, I always tell dad that he can feel free to jump the curb.


—7—

OK this last story is me.

The Resort (my normal hospital) is a teaching hospital. So sometimes when you get admitted from the ER, you have to go through the special hell of having some resident take your history. I don’t know what this resident had done to get me, but whatever. Poor guy.

Anyway, I was tired, I was drugged up, and I really didn’t want to be doing this. Plus, when I’m sick, my hearing goes out the window. I can’t concentrate. So I was just nodded and “yup”ing and all sorts of things to get this guy out of here.

Dad, of course, couldn’t be present for this because you know, I might talk about sex. So he was in the hall with his free coffee.

The medical student asked me a question. I said, yup. He said, how often. I said, oh, twice a day. I mean, I thought he was asking about meds.

He looks at me, shocked. Deer in the headlights.

“I’m sorry, what did you ask me?”

He turns bright red and mutters, “I was asking if you were sexually active.”

OH.

“Well, then, um, nope. Sorry. Never. Wow. Yeah.”


I figure that’s a good way to end, don’t you? :)