Remembering Those Who Have Gone Before Us

Bible reading next to Emily’s grave.

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-3

November 1st and 2nd are for All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day celebration in the Catholic tradition (learn more). These are days set aside to thank the Lord for the saints who spread His amazing gospel that has echoed through time until now as well as loved ones who have passed into eternity. It’s a time a remembrance and thanksgiving. Write a list out of the names of all those who have gone before you and brought you to Christ or made you stronger in Him.

This time is also a time where people take their own mortality into consideration. Last year on this same day, Emily wrote her last entry about this important time for Catholics, not knowing that she would join those she loved and cherished that had gone before her. She had prepared herself for so long and really believed in the fact that “this world’s our ship and not our home” (St. Therese).

Please take a moment to read her words from last year to understand a bit more about these celebrations and maybe consider getting her book, Living Memento Mori, as well since it’s a great book on life, death, and self reflection.

To end this, here is a short excerpt from a song called “Death Be Not Proud” by a band called Attalus that really sums up how we all should look at death in the reality of the work Christ completed on the cross for us. The work that all those before us, including Emily herself, believed so completely in and shared boldly (may we all obtain such courage for the sake of other’s coming to the faith). We don’t have to be afraid of our end here on earth when we have confidence in what lies ahead in our eternity.

“Dates on a stone
Oh, they're just an alibi
A simple line
It can't sum up my life
Beneath the tears
The wreaths, the letters, and the roses
God composes a new life
As the old one decomposes

So come on death, I've got your dues
Take them any way you choose
And shake the heavens with your smile
If my bones are worth your while
But this coffin's just a womb
Thanks to the cross and empty tomb
My God will get the final laugh
Death, here He comes - your epitaph!”

And finally, a bonus throwback photo of Emily and her siblings during Halloween in the 90s!

A throwback photo of Emily and her siblings during Halloween in the 90s with costumes on.

Special Edition: Reflection from Aunt Mary 📝

The following is from a wonderful Daily Gospel Reflection (run by the University of Notre Dame) that Emily’s Aunt Mary wrote on July 24th. She loved Emily dearly and was greatly inspired by her journey (and continues to love her still even in parting for the rest of this earthly life). Be blessed by her reflection on faithfulness.

In addition, there is an archive for other Daily Gospel Reflections from former ND Alumni as well as daily reflections in audio form.

Reflection

Mary Heilmann Becker ’87
ND Parent

My niece Emily DeArdo died at age 41 on New Year’s Eve 2023—a day she had long contemplated and prepared for.

“I’ve never doubted my faith,” Emily wrote. “But did I have courage? Did I trust Jesus? … That’s the slow-growing bloom of faith. Faith is the seed. But courage and trust? That’s the result of a lot of dark nights and lots of tears.”

Jesus asks us to have that bloom of faith in today’s gospel reading, and it was the essence of Emily. Diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at age 11 and given a projected life expectancy of 30 years, Emily could have had her faith snatched away by the birds of bitterness before it took root. Or, having survived this devastating diagnosis, Emily’s faith could have been scorched or choked by the medical trials she endured over the years—the near-fatal bout of tuberculosis, the double lung transplant, and the loss of her hearing.

But Emily proved to be rich soil that produced a fruitful, faithful life. She lived exuberantly, with courage and trust in God. She competed on “Jeopardy!” as the show’s first cochlear implant recipient, blazing a path for others to follow. She wrote the book Living Memento Mori: My Journey Through the Stations of the Cross, published by Ave Maria Press in 2019, explaining how her faith guided her through many challenges and offering inspiration to readers struggling with their own crosses.

“We wait for the second coming of Christ—we wait for our own resurrection,” Emily wrote. “And as we do this, we show the world that even when God appears silent, we will still love him. We will still follow him. We will still be faithful as we wait.”

Whoever has ears ought to hear.

Matthew 13:1-9
On that day, Jesus went out of the house and sat down by the sea.
Such large crowds gathered around him
that he got into a boat and sat down,
and the whole crowd stood along the shore.
And he spoke to them at length in parables, saying:
“A sower went out to sow.
And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path,
and birds came and ate it up.
Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil.
It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep,
and when the sun rose it was scorched,
and it withered for lack of roots.
Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it.
But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit,
a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.
Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

What You do with Your Years (Anniversary Edition)?

Battling Your Circumstances with Joy and Gratitude

Emily always said she was grateful for every additional day of her life that her double lung transplant back on July 11,2005 gave her. She wrote about it constantly, in fact, she wrote a whole book about it that was published in 2020.

Today would have been her 19th lung transplant anniversary, but since she has passed on from this life (and is completely healed praise the Lord!), we wanted to inspire you as a reader to think of how powerful her story really was and continues to be. She was not supposed to live to see 24 years old, but with her lung transplant, she far outlived her prognosis. And boy, did she live and love life! This blog entry from 2015 tells of all the moments Emily was so grateful to experience and witness with her extended lease on life. It’s important to also note that Emily’s donor Suzanne was very dear to her because she knew for one to live it meant one had to die and she never forgot to thank her and her family.

An image of Emily on the day she was being released to come home from the hospital post surgery.

If you’ve never seen this 5-minute video from Nationwide Children’s Hospital that covers and overview of her journey from diagnosis to receiving her double lungs transplant surgery, please take a moment to watch and hear about how pivotal this moment that brought hope was in her life.

Emily’s outlook on her diagnosis did not relegate her to living her life in a lesser way. In fact, it propelled her into pursuing things she was more passionate for (like writing her books and blogs) and enabled her to grow deeper in her relationship with Christ. She even wrote this article a little over a year ago talking about the blessings and hardships of transplant patients that is a transparent look through her perspective and the facts.

Text image that reads: We spend out. We don’t hoard our time or resources. We invest them in people, in loving others, and in community.

So the real question is, knowing we all have breath in our lungs today and the precious gift of life, how does God want you to live your years? Not many of us will go through a transplant like Emily did in our lifetime, but if you’ve accepted the gift of Salvation, then you’ve gotten a spiritual transplant.
Consider Romans 6:8-11 below:

8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9 For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10 The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. 11 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

So what should we do with this renewed life on earth that extends into eternity? Maybe love our families and friends well and making the most of our time with them? Give generously of our time, talents, and treasures to others? Live each day like it’s our last on this earth and tell someone about His amazing gift of salvation? Or maybe all of the above? Everyone’s journey through life looks different, but the focus should always be on Christ and furthering His Kingdom through gratitude and love - something Emily did well.

Memorialize the Present

Memorial Day is the day we take time to honor those men and women who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country (for our USA friends that is) and gave their lives so that we could and can remain a free country. We probably all know someone who has served and we might even know someone who has died in the line of duty. All of these people had dreams beyond the battlefields, but they put them aside for the good of the country they loved. 

We hope you’ll remember this today and have an attitude of thanksgiving and gratitude. No country is perfect, but we have been blessed with so much.

Emily had her own Memorial Day traditions that she shared in this post.

She always cherished the little moments and valued people in her life. Even rereading Jane Austin books every summer and getting to dip her toes in the pool (her nieces share her affinity below) were what she considered worth a mention. 

Emily’s nieces sharing her love of the pool!

How many of us can truly say we are living? Some of us wake up and choose to take on the world loudly, some quietly one moment at a time, and some of us are physically awake, but bare minimum for the definition of “living”. 

We hope as you read Emily’s former post you gain a renewed drive to be present in the ordinary moments in life. Life is short; we all know it, but we tend to push it out of our minds in exchange of desire for the big moments. But truly, tomorrow is never guaranteed so please start memorializing the time you have with your family and friends, enjoy each other’s company in the moment, and don’t stop making good memories. 

So teach us to number our days, That we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.
- Psalm 90:12

Welcome to the Family Jude!

Baby Jude wrapped in Aunt Emily and Aunt Sue’s baby blanket.

Emily’s nephew Jude entered the world last week!

When his mom Melanie called and said his birth weight was 7-13 (7 pounds 13 ounces), we realized  that this was the exact time that Em was taken up to Heaven (7:13pm) and was no coincidence.  Clearly Emily was at work at his birth!

The banner photo above is of Jude in the blanket that Emily had started for him (which was graciously finished by her Aunt Sue in St Louis) marked with a yellow heart.  It’s easy to tell that his older sister, Maddie (picture below), is already much taken with him. The family is doing well and adjusting to being a family of 4 now. It’s well known how much Em loved her nieces and godchildren (and babies in general),  and we are sure that she is enjoying watching over her first nephew.

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, ‘Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’ ” - Matthew 18:1-3