Emily M. DeArdo

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#10 I didn't die at barre class

journal, transplantEmily DeArdoComment

Seriously, people, this is worth sharing.
I hadn’t been to a Pure Barre class in about four years. And when I went, I would get so frustrated, constantly comparing my body to the other bodies in the room. Why couldn’t I do this? So, of course, I stopped going after about 10 classes.

But last night, I had this strange compulsion. I was going to a Board and Brush class with my SIL and my brother. There was a Pure Barre studio right by the class and their apartment. I could….go to class and then meet them for dinner and then paint.

I signed up for a class, my first in almost five years.

What in the world?!??!

Before I went in today, I gave myself a pep talk. Emily. You cannot compare your body to theirs. You have maybe half the lung capacity. You have a wrist that hates plank. But you know what? You are strong anyway. You can modify. Just get through the class.

So that was my goal. Get through class.

And I did. And not only that? I’m stronger than I was five years ago. I could get through the warm up and arms almost easily. I could do leg work without feeling like a failure. Sure, at the end, when we did crunches with legs in the air, I couldn’t do that. But you know what? THAT IS OK.

I left class feeling really proud of myself, and energized, and amazed that I felt stronger than I had when I was younger.

This is really different for me. I used to leave class frustrated and angry at myself, or at the very least, with a “got that done” mindset.

Maybe….I need to go more often?

Maybe my body can do things?

And board and brush was awesome. Here’s what I made:

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AND I got to have fun with Liz and her cat Vito and knit and talk books and have tea this morning

So basically, a great day.