Hi everyone! This is going to be a sort of different 7QT today, but I will start off with a link to the first yarn along of the year, in case you missed it. :)
So today I’m writing about my word of the year for 2021. When I’m doing Power Sheets prep in November and December, this comes up—what do I want my word to be for 2021? Last year it was “discipline”—trying to create rhythm of life in my work and in housekeeping and things like that. Well, rhythm sort of went out the window in 2020, didn’t it? :)
In 2021, my word is LISTEN. Listen to God, listen to my body, and listen to my gut.
Listen to God is sort of easy, right? I want to listen to what He wants from me, so that means I have to make time to be quiet in prayer and give time to Him in deepening our relationship.
Listening to my body is harder. As I write this (Thursday), I don’t really have any energy. I didn’t sleep for most of the month of December. What I mean by that is that I’d fall asleep around 3 AM after taking something to help me fall asleep, because I’d be trying to fall asleep for the past three hours, and the I’d force myself up seven hours later. I need nine hours of sleep a night. I was getting less than that, on a regular basis and the sleep I was getting was crappy, really hard sleep ( you know what I mean?). At 5 AM on Christmas morning my phone alerted me to a low glucose reading so I went down to my parents’ kitchen to give myself some orange juice, and then I realized that part of the sleep problem was probably that I was giving myself too much insulin. I was giving myself insulin around 8/9 :00 with my evening meds (because I eat with them) and then more when I went to bed. I didn’t need that much, and I’d been seeing low morning glucose numbers for awhile—not really low, but low-ish. I thought that was OK. But then I’d looked back over the night and seen that I was dipping to the low “danger range” more often than I’d like.
So for the past two weeks I’ve tried not having the snack insulin dose (which was something I had suggested to my team, not the other way around so I didn’t feel bad skipping it.) For the first few nights I slept hard and had really vivid dreams. I’ve been sleeping better, but I’ve also been low in energy meaning that I think my insulin is off—again—because I’m running high at night now. So today I finally sent an email to my nurse asking if she had any suggestions.
I clearly need to listen to my body. It’s tired. It doesn’t have a lot of reserves. It needs to sleep, to sit, to recuperate and recover from whatever. (No, I do not have COVID. :) ) And I’m trying not to listen to it because I have stuff that needs to be done that’s bugging me, like laundry and dishes and putting sodas in the fridge (Diet only. :) ). I’m falling asleep earlier, but I’m still sleeping 12 hours a night and I hate that—even though I know my body needs it.
So listening to my body? Yeah. I need to get better at it, especially when it’s yelling at me like it is right now. I need to stop thinking I need to get everything done and realize that my body does not, at this moment, have the capacity to do things like HIIT workouts or even a lot of puttery housework. It needs water, naps, and recovery, and easy workouts like stretching and slow, yin yoga. Nothing hard or intense.
Listening to my gut means that I stop doing things that I don’t really want to do or think I’m not suited for because I want to be “nice.” I want to not let someone down, I want to be a team player, I want to be reliable. My body, first off, doesn’t always let me do that (see above!). And second, if I’m forcing myself to do something, am I doing my best work? I don’t mean skipping out on things that I have to do based on previous commitments. I mean taking on new things new work, new commitments. Do I really want to? Am I excited about it? Do I have the margin to do it?
Right now, my body is saying, “Emily, you have no margin. You need to take care of ME.” And if my body isn’t happy then I can’t do anything anyway, because it won’t let me!
So, as frustrated as I am right now, I know that listening to my body will pay off. I just have to do it. I have to listen to God and see what He wants from me. And I have to listen to my gut, to see what I’m feeling about projects.
That’s my word for 2021. What’s yours? Do you pick a word of the year?
(Oh, and also: cute Patty for you:
