author
So many of you will remember that I was a Jeopardy! contestant back in 2016! (You can read all about that here.)
I have FINALLY found the episode online! So if you want to watch it, here you go!
(I can’t embed the video because there are restrictions on it, sadly. But that link works!)
While in Houston, I (of course) went to church with my cousin and her family, and heard an amazing homily, centered on the decision in the Dobbs case. I took so many notes I thought I’d share them with you. It was a long homily, so this is just a taste.
Rogier van der Weyden, The Magdalene Reading. The National Gallery, London.
“The government does not and cannot give us rights. Our human rights do not come from the US government, our human rights derive from our humanity, and derive from the fact that we are human….{The Declaration of Independence states that] We hold these truths to be self-evident. We are endowed with those rights by our Creator and these rights are inalienable…
“To enjoy liberty, we must enjoy the exercise of the right to life. There is no pursuit of happiness without life. It’s inalienable…
“Legal does not equal just. We have the obligation to overturn unjust laws and to come to the aid of the oppressed. Slavery, women’s inability to vote, racial segregation and Nazism were all legal.
“We need, as citizens, to participate in the democratic process. There is much more to come. We must pray. Changing hearts and minds is a much more formidable task [that what has just been done]. We must have charity in all things and we need to treat everyone with respect. We must continue to work and build a culture of life. We must care for people, and show the mercy and forgiveness of God to everyone.”
On the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, it is so appropriate that one of the worst SCOTUS decisions in history is overturned, joining Dred Scot and Plessy on the ash heap of history.
Every since I was old enough to know what abortion was, I—and so many others—have prayed and worked for today. This is a victory for the pro-life movement, and I don’t think it’s a bad thing at all to take today and celebrate and give thanks for this.
I am happy on a more personal level as well. If you’ve read my book, you know that I have often had people tell me that people with genetic diseases are not “worthy” of living, because our lives are too hard or we suffer.
Ninety-six percent of babies who are discovered to have CF in utero are aborted.
Today, that number will begin to decrease, and more people like me will have a chance at life.
It’s important to note that Dobbs doesn’t make abortion illegal in the United States. Instead, it throws the matter back to the states (which is where it should have been all the time.). Every state can determine their own abortion laws.
This is not the end of the pro-life movement. In the words of Winston Churchill, “It is the end of the beginning.”
We know that there is work to do to change perceptions. We know that more pro-family legislation is needed, and we need to continue to support the work of maternity/crisis pregnancy homes, pro-life charities, and other supportive networks.
If you want to contact your state legislators about this, be sure to do it politely (always, please, especially if you’re calling them).Let them know that you support legislation that helps the vulnerable. See what your state already has and then work to support it, financially, materially, or with your time. I’ll be compiling a list of resources later, but you can always start with the Sisters of Life, who do such great work in the US and Canada.
And let’s stop talking about how children are barriers to our lives, OK? Let’s stop talking about how women have “fewer rights” then men. Women, it’s time for us to stop believing the lies that the sexual revolution taught us. Sex is not free. Having sex with multiple partners is not liberating. Let’s reject this mindset for the lie it is. Let’s teach our daughters that. Let’s not continue to perpetuate a lie—which is really a malicious, twisted lie—that sexual freedom is a good thing, that we are “entitled” to do whatever we want, when we want it. That’s a perversion of our freedom.
There are certainly times when women find themselves in situations that they didn’t expect. The pro-life movement is there for them. We need to champion life in all its stages, and Dobbs gives us the framework to start doing that legislatively—but it also gives us the freedom to start doing more outside of the statehouses, to step up our advocacy and demonstrate that it’s truth that sets us free.
Women deserve better than abortion. Children deserve better than abortion. We all deserve better than a culture that takes innocent lives and treats them like garbage, and cloaks its satanic mission in words like “care” or “health decisions” or “choice”.
Today is a victory for life.
Let’s celebrate it, and then continue our work.
(NOTE: normally, I let the combox be totally open. But I will delete any comments that have bad language on this post, OK? I would do that anyway, but….just a reminder.)
I was so privileged to be interviewed by Samantha Stephenson for her Brave New Us podcast! This episode is about genetic illness and genetic manipulation: Should we do it? Why or why not? I had a great time talking to Samantha and I hope you enjoy our conversation! You can listen here.
-1-
Hi! Tomorrow is St. Dominic’s Day! YAYYYY!
The Virgin Mary with St. Dominic and St. Hyacinth
So pray the rosary today, because the DOMINICANS GOT IT FROM MARY. :) One of the reasons I love being a Dominican!
-II-
Sometimes I talk about bioethics here. Today is a crash course.
One of the things I get a lot of is, “Does the Church [The Catholic Church] permit organ transplants and organ donation?”
Quick answer: Yes.
“What about from brain dead people?” (aka, neurological criteria)
Answer: yes
This…is a point of contention for some Catholics.
The National Catholic Bioethics Center talks about this all in detail. Here, to make it one-stop shopping, I am listing the following for you!:
organ donation: Church documents, Ethics & Medics, FAQ and Summaries, podcasts, Press Releases and News, Statements, book store items
the most important, and probably useful thing, to most of you, is this: FAQ On the Determination of Death Using Neurological Criteria.
-III-
So, if you don’t want to read all that…..cut and paste!
What is brain death?
“Brain death” refers to the medical judgment that a person is dead, determined by neurological criteria. Properly diagnosed, brain death means the complete cessation of all organized neurological activity throughout the entire brain, including the cerebrum, cerebellum, and brain stem. When all brain activity has ceased, the body irrevocably ceases to function as a unified whole. The appropriate phraseology here is “the determination of death using neurological criteria.”
It is appropriate to use this criteria?
The customary criteria for determining death are "cardio-pulmonary," i.e., death is declared after breathing and heart-beat cease. Technological advancements in critical care, however, have made continued circulation and respiration possible through mechanical means even after brain function has ceased. The use of neurological criteria for the determination of death can be legitimate according to the Catholic Church. In an address he gave to the [18th International Conference of Organ Transplant Specialists][1] in August 2000, Pope Saint John Paul II observed that their application, if rigorous, “does not seem to conflict with the essential elements of a sound anthropology.” He further stated that “a health-worker professionally responsible for ascertaining death can use these criteria in each individual case as the basis for arriving at that degree of assurance in ethical judgement which moral teaching describes as ‘moral certainty.’ This moral certainty is considered the necessary and sufficient basis for an ethically correct course of action.” Neurological criteria consist of three basic signs: deep coma or unarousable unresponsiveness, absence of cerebral and brain stem reflexes, and apnea. Pope Pius XII and Pope John Paul II both said the Church has no competency in determining death; this properly belongs to medical science. [1]: http://www.vatican.va/content/john-paul-ii/en/speeches/2000/jul-sep/documents/hf_jp-ii_spe_20000829_transplants.html
Can a Catholic receive an organ transplant?
Yes, a faithful Catholic may receive organs from a donor who is declared dead by neurological criteria. A faithful Catholic may also make provisions for the donation of his own organs in the event of his death whether it is determined by cardio-pulmonary or neurological criteria. Reasonable doubts about the rigor with which the determination of death would be made, however, may warrant caution.
Now, note that last part. In some places, like China, organ harvesting takes place in, um, less that salubrious ways. (To put it REALLY mildly.) So yeah, if you’re in a. place where there was be questions about this…..then yes. You can ask. You can say you don’t want a transplant.
I can say, myself, that if the Church said no to transplants, I would not have gotten one. Full stop. End of discussion. I’m dead serious. (Really, dead serious, because I would’ve…been dead! Oh, my black humor sometimes.)
-IV-
OK I think we’re done with the serious now. :) But yes, the Church, like the rabbi said in Fiddler on the Roof, has a position on everything! :)
(In Fiddler, it’s, “Rabbi, Is there a blessing for the Czar?” “There is a blessing for everything my son!…May God bless and keep the czar….far away from us!” )
Check the Catechism. In fact, you do have a Catechism at home, right????? (Because seriously, you should.)
-V-
I didn’t do a yarn along this week, but next week! Yarn! But here’s a peek at Patty’s baby blanket….
-VI-
If you want a signed book, email me; they’re $20 and include a book mark, prayer card, AND shipping! It’s time to start thinking about Christmas! :) :) I also have an ebook!
-VII-
Book club is still happening! My BGLs have been nuts so it’s sort of thrown off the schedule, but it you want to jump in, you can! All the previous videos are on my Facebook page. On Tuesday we’ll be meeting at 3:00 EST!
Getting to meet Billy on Sunday
The first post I wrote about Billy is, far and away, the most popular thing I’ve ever written.
I’m so glad that so many people got to know this incredible little boy and his fabulous parents. I’m so glad—and overwhelmed in a good way—by all the comments, prayers, and e-notes I’ve received saying they are praying for Billy and his family.
Sadly, Billy passed away in his father’s arms this morning (Tuesday, March 23).
He was loved, and so cared for, until the end.
These six days they had with him were an incredible gift from God. They were a miracle. I’m sure about that. Billy wasn’t expected to last an hour. Instead, he gave his parents almost a week to rejoice and delight in him—and for us to delight in him as well.
Tiffany got to nurse him. Bill changed his diapers. They slept with him on their chests, cooed at him, took videos, rocked him, and loved him. Billy grasped their fingers and looked into their eyes. His grandparents and aunts and uncles delighted in him. And so did all of us.
The day they left the hospital, the membrane that covered Billy’s encephelocele began to break down. The neonatologist said this was to be expected. At home, the brain tissue began to bleed. But through it all Billy and his family had the love and support of their family and the wonderful hospice nurses from The Resort. Billy was kept comfortable and was always in someone’s arms. He was unbelievably loved, and only knew love his entire life.
I was so blessed to be able to see him. I was so blessed to see my best friend hold her child, her first-born, to mother him, to see Bill hold his son against his chest and feed him. I stroked his little ear and marveled at his tiny fingers and even tinier nails. I delighted in him.
On Sunday, we heard the gospel that contains my life verse—Jesus healing the man born blind. My verses are taken from the beginning of the gospel’s ninth chapter:
I don’t know why I was born the way I was—but God does. I don’t know why Billy was born the way he was—but God does.
Maybe we were both born this way so that we can glorify God. I certainly hope so. That’s what gives me comfort, and that’s why I consider this my life verse.
Billy’s short life glorified God. His parents’ faith and love glorified God. The support, community, love, and prayers of all of you for this little family glorified God.
A few weeks ago, Bill and Tiffany’s church had a luncheon for them, to celebrate Billy and to provide support for Tiff and Bill. At the lunch, we made a quilt, where every guest was invited to write something to Tiff and Bill on a square. The quilt was draped over their couch when I went to visit. It is beautiful.
I had brought my Bible with me, and I spent time going through it, wondering what to write. Finally, I settled on one of my favorite verses. It’s the verses that begins the epilogue of my book.
Today’s Mass reading from Isaiah talks about a time when infants will not die after a few days. When I heard that at the streamed Mass this morning, I almost dropped my coffee mug. Billy was dying, and here Isaiah spoke of a new world, where we would all live the lifespan that God appointed us. There would be no more crying, or death, or sadness. We would all live together to old age. Isn’t that what every parent wants for their child?
We all loved Billy. I thank you for all the love that you gave this family, that you continue to give this family. Please pray for them. At this time, the state of Ohio is essentially shut down—I don’t know what’s going to happen with the funeral. Thankfully, their families are local, so they have that support here in town and they can be together. Please continue to pray for them.
Linking up with Kelli!
-1-
Around these parts this week:
Doing the best you can with what you have
Prime Day deals—Prime Day is over, but if you haven’t checked in with Take Up & Read lately, we have a lot of gorgeous studies! Maybe it’s time to start Christmas shopping?
-2-
This is sort of a…well, a sad take. But.
On Twitter this week I saw a woman writing about how she didn’t know how to get a casket for her miscarried child.
The Trappist monks of New Melleray Abbey provide infant and child caskets free to families.
Free. Gratis. No charge.
Go here, and scroll down to “child”, and select a size.
These are beautiful handmade caskets. In addition to the caskets, the monks will plant a memorial tree for your child, and remember your child in a special Mass. The parents also receive a keepsake cross made of th same wood as the casket.
If you need one IMMEDIATELY, call them at:
888-433-6934
They answer the phone 24 hours a day.
They also have a child casket fund, where people can donate to support this ministry, here.
This is such a beautiful service they provide. I know it’s terribly hard to think about, but I have had friends who have lost children to miscarriage. This makes one part of it easier—you don’t have to make your child’s casket or fumble around at a funeral home. The monks will do it, beautifully, for free.
-3-
The book skips along! It’s done with copy edits so my editor has it now and is working on it. No cover art yet but the minute I have it I’ll share with you (subscribers find out first!)
-4-
This week I finished a long linen scarf I knit to use in the summer. I love it. It’s a gorgeous color. So I went to block it in my washing machine. I had run a test piece of linen before and it came out fine so I thought I’d be fine this time.
NOPE.
Washer Monster wanted to eat it.
But my lovely maintenance man here saved it! Yay!
Yay! It’s saved!
I’m always amazed at how well linen blocks. It’s just great. Such a difference!
-5-
I’m on an Emily Blunt movie binge lately. I watched The Devil Wears Prada and A Quiet Place this week and I’m going to watch Mary Poppins Returns tonight. (My movie BF Colin F. is in it too. I do love his movies.)
-6-
Sometimes we live in Hoth, here in Ohio, and sometimes it’s in the 90s with a heat index giving us a temp of 114. Yeah, it’s that day. So, movie binging and working on house projects today!
-7-
It feels hard to believe that July is half over and that Target has school supply displays up. When do the schools in your area go back? Ours tend to go back in the middle of August now, but they get out before June.
-1-
OK, It’s about to get really earnest and passionate in here, folks. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.
With all the new pro-abortion laws coming out, the number of tweets I’ve seen, and articles I’ve read, about how mothers “need” to abort children who are disabled makes me want to scream. There’s nothing quite like the experience of being told that you are not worthy of living to make you really angry.
So we’re just gonna lay it all out here:
If you are a person with a “genetic anomaly”, like me:
You are loved. You are here because God loved you so much that he wanted to create you. And here you are. You are not a burden. You are not a mistake. You are a beloved child of God.
Any one else who says anything else? Deserves to be smacked upside the head. (Verbally, at least.)
—II—
DO NOT give in to these people, my fellow genetic mutations. :) You are WORTH EXISTENCE. If I never write anything else, ever again, please remember that. Please remember that you are loved beyond all measure by God who created you.
-III-
Remember Pope Benedict:
-IV-
OK, is that enough angst for you? And passion?
Because, seriously, folks. Seriously.
-V-
Onto other things! I have submitted my draft! YAY!!!! The first hurdle is cleared in the journey toward Real Bookdom! Yay!!!!!!
-VI-
If you just cannot wait until January to read a book of mine, Catholic 101 is available now and is five bucks!
-VII-
I have scrummy linen yarn sitting in my mailbox that I have to go fetch, so we’ll wrap this up. But remember.
Linking up with Kelly!
—ONE—
I haven’t done this in awhile, so, hey, time to do one! Especially since we’re supposed to get a big old snow storm with insanely cold temperatures this weekend, so if you never hear from me again, at least you have this. (I’m kidding. I’ll be fine.)
This cartoon made the rounds a few years ago, but once again it looks like I’ll be living in Hoth:
—TWO—
There’s been a lot going on over here. I’m moving, so that’s the first thing—in March! So I have two months to get my place packed up. Which means that yes, I’ve been watching Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix, and I love it. (And no, she’s never said that you only need 30 books, where did people get this?! I have WAY more than 30> I have more than 30 cookbooks, probably—yes, I might have a problem.)
But I’ve really enjoyed the process. If you haven’t heard of her, the idea is that you get rid of everything that doesn’t “spark joy”, or that you need (like, a screwdriver, for instance. Or copies of recent tax returns.). So you let go of things that you’re just holding on to out of guilt or uncertainty or “just because”, and it’s done in categories: clothes, books, papers, “komono “ (miscellaneous—she divides it down further), and sentimental items. I’m on “komono”, and it’s mostly household stuff and knitting stuff that’s left.
—THREE—
Speaking of knitting, here’s this week’s yarn along! I’m making a drachenfels shawl, again. :) Deets are at Ravelry, here.
—FOUR—
In other news, I’m very close to submitting my book proposal! Oh my gosh. This has been a few months in the making but I think I’m in the home stretch! Yayyy!
And you can help me!
Please subscribe to the blog! This is something that really helps me with publishers. It shows I have people who care about what I write! So do that, and then follow my author page on Facebook? Every follower/subscriber is important! If you already subscribe, thank you! Mwah!
—FIVE—
The proposal is a memoir about my life with CF and transplant and how it ties into the idea that life is always worth living, no matter what’s “wrong” with you. Today is the March for Life, so yes, I feel it’s a timely topic. I’ve had people tell me that I shouldn’t exist. But I DO exist and so there. :-p
—SIX—
I made a holy hour yesterday, since I might not be able to get to Mass this weekend depending on weather. If you don’t make a holy hour (Or holy half hour, or Holy Fifteen Minutes!), can I recommend that you start? It’s restorative, transformative, energizing….it’s time with the Lord who loves you so much! Get thee to an adoration chapel! Or get to Mass early, if you can. God wants to visit with you!
—SEVEN—
And, also, if you missed it, Take Up & Read has a new study! We’re starting on Monday but feel free to hop in whenever! It’s called Call Me Blessed (here’s my blog post about it!)—and you can get it at other bookstores besides Amazon! Yay!!!!! It’s all about our vocation as women, our dignity as women, using women in the Bible and the writings of Pope John Paul II. I do hope you’ll join us!
Kelly at This Ain’t The Lyceum wrote a great piece about how everyone is a burden to someone at some point in her life. It’s not just people who are disabled, or poor, or old, or whatever. ALL of us were, or will be, a “burden” to someone.
One of the things you hear when people talk about assisted suicide is that they don’t “want to be a burden” to their loved ones. But think about it. Babies are inherently a burden to their parents. They can’t do anything for themselves. We all started there, and we’ll probably all go back there as we get older.
This touched me specially because I had a call with a “disability caseworker” last week, and I’m working through the SSDI application process. This entire process is dehumanizing and humiliating. It boils down to what you can do, and strips away anything else. So at the end of this call, which involved both my parents, I burst into tears.
“Why are you crying?!” My parents asked.
“Because these things are so humiliating. I feel like such a burden to everyone, I can’t do anything, you guys are just stuck with me forever! No one wants me!”
“We want you,” my parents said.
And then they reminded me that they really did want me. This wasn’t just parents saying what they’re supposed to say (like when you ask your boyfriend if a dress makes you look fat. There’s a right answer to that question.).
My parents really wanted me. They prayed hard for me. They got married in 1979 and I didn’t appear until 1982. My mom always wanted to be a mother. They prayed hard for me, and, in an example of God taking people seriously, Mom had said in her prayers that she would take a baby who needed extra care, because she knew she could love and take care of that baby.
And believe me, she has. The things my parents have done for me would take a really long time to explain, but here’s just a bit of it:
Many, many, MANY ER runs (One during the Super Bowl, when the Steelers were playing. My parents are huge Steeler fans.)
Monthly blood draws when I was a toddler.
Driving to Cleveland in a snowstorm for an appointment.
Many many many overnight hospital stays
Learning how to reconstitute medicines and give them via an IV, even 8 or twelve hours—yeah, that means middle of the night stuff. WHEEEE!
Beating on my chest twice a day, every day, as part of daily CF therapy (now that’s not really needed, there are inventions that take care of it, but back then, not so much).
Many insurance phone calls
Learning how to dress a third degree burn, and then doing the dressing at the kitchen table, which was just par for the course at our house.
It’s a lot. And I’d be lying if I said I never felt like a burden to them, because I do. Our society makes it clear of what it thinks about “people like me”. I’ve had people tell me, to my face, that I shouldn’t exist. That’s sort of hard to deal with. And as I get older, I get increasingly sadder about this fact that I’m not married, so my parents have to handle everything for me, because I don’t have a husband to help out. (Not that every husband would help out….)
But really, Kelly’s right—we’re all burdens. We just are, it’s part of being human. We depend on each other. Think about it. Even a “normal” kid needs mom and dad’s helps. Even “normal” adults need help every once in awhile. We can’t do everything ourselves, it’s just not possible.
But we see this as being wrong, and as something that needs eliminated. Sure, we all want to be independent. I am very glad, for example, that I can use the bathroom by myself, because having gone through periods of my life where I’ve had to wait for a bedpan or three nurses to help me, I do not take that ability for granted. But you know, there are times when I haven’t been able to do that, when mom has had to wash my hair, or Dad has had to call AAA because I can’t call them.
It can be a lot. It can be humiliating, and it can be depressing. As a society, we need to really focus on the person, because we are all God’s chosen people, in that, God willed us into existence. This is my existence.
I’m glad that I am independent, in some ways. I’m glad that I don’t need to rely on my parents for everything. But at the same time, I know that even when I have needed that, they’ve answered. And I know some parents don’t—I don’t know them personally, but I’ve seen them, I’ve heard the horror stories. I’m lucky.
People are people to be loved, not to be called burdens or dismissed because of it. Really, we could all be burdens to God. Think about how slow we are. I mean, doesn’t he ever sit up there and just facepalm? Seriously, humanity?! WE COVERED THIS!!!!!
But God made us anyway. People love us anyway. Our worth isn’t about what we can do or what job we have or anything external. Worth is internal.
and some theology
I know that when most people say they want a “healthy baby”, they’re not being rude or mean. They’re probably trying to be nice.
But guys, I wasn’t a “healthy baby.” I looked healthy, initially, but I wasn’t. I had seizures. I had (and still have) thalessemia minor (I think it’s called type b now? Not sure). I got the CF diagnosis when I was 11.
So, should my parents have just pitched me back? “Nah, sorry, we wanted a non-defective model.”
And I know that people do that now. People kill their babies in the name of the kids “avoid suffering” in their lives. Bull crap. “Yes, let’s kill you, so you never get to have a life.”
That ties into part two: saying “God is Good” only when things go the way you want them to go.
Guys. God is good all the time. He is Good. It is in His very nature to be good. But that doesn’t mean that God’s Goodness=what you want.
Because it doesn’t work that way.
God created me with my “defective” genetic code and my blue eyes and my blonde hair and my fair skin and my wonky teeth and an ankle that cracks oddly. I have a really good memory and I love children and I do a pretty good Sebastian the Crab imitation. I have The Phantom of the Opera libretto memorized. (And Les Miz. And Miss Saigon. And Ragtime. And Parade…)
And yeah, I also have CF. I had a transplant. I’ve got scars. And I do talk about it, because it has become clear to me that it has to be talked about, because people see illness as scary and something to be avoided and pain as awful, to the point that Canada is allowing pediatric euthenasia.
God is always good. And God made me the way I am for a purpose. Is it always fun? No. It is not. There are times when I’ve been really peeved about it, to put it mildly.
But at the same time, it has made me who I am, and in general, I like who I am. I wouldn’t want to change that for the world.
God is not being “mean” to me. He created me the way he wants me to be.
And health doesn’t always stay health. Health is a transient thing, guys. Everyone will get sick. Everyone will die. It seems that in our society now we are idolizing life and health to the point that it is fully unhealthy. We’ve forgotten that we will die, that life is fleeting, that our home isn’t here.
Children are a gift from God, no matter how they come.
And God is always good. And He always loves me.
He always loves you, too. No matter what.
Unless you're brand new, you guys know how i feel about end of life issues.
But I see that lately, there's some confusion about ethics when it comes to these issues. So, I thought I'd work them out here, from a Catholic perspective, and also from the perspective of someone who has lived with death, intimately, many times.
The first thing we need to understand: hospice care/ palliative care is not the same as assisted suicide.
Hospice/palliative care is used when a definitive diagnosis of death has come down--usually, it's going to happen soon (the "six months to live" thing), but it doesn't have to be. Hospice is a legitimate choice. Here, the patient has decided that the only thing she wants is comfort care--she doesn't want heroic measures take to preserve her life (meaning, ventilation, ICUs, etc.) The patient wants to die, peacefully, at home or in a hospice care center, with family around.
I could have chosen hospice care instead of going for a transplant, and it would've been a legitimate choice, because there were no other medical options left. This is what Barbara Bush did at the end--she decided, I don't want all this. I just want to die peacefully, with my family around me. This is totally legitimate. Now, this might involve IV fluids, for comfort, or medication, for comfort. But the person has come to grips with death, and has decided she doesn't want any more medical treatment. Again--this is legitimate.
When hospice is taken, it means that the patient knows there isn't going to be a cure. Curative treatment has generally stopped.
But hospice is truly death with dignity.
Assisted suicide is not. Assisted suicide is when someone gets a medical diagnosis and decides that, instead of dealing with this by the hospice route, it would be better to die now. I have little sympathy for this view. You can read about my feelings here.
Assisted suicide means what it says--the person wants death, and wants it immediately. This is legal in some states in America. That makes me very sad.
And this brings me to Alfie.
I love doctors. Doctors have saved my life. But doctors have also almost killed me.
Doctors are not infallible. Doctors can be wrong.
Now, this is where a fine line exists--there are times when families want doctors to be wrong, desperately. They want to believe their loved one is still alive. However.
If a person is dead--there are tests that prove this. For brain death, there is criteria.
If a person is dying, then we generally know this. But this is where it gets tricky. A doctor can say a patient is past the point of no return. Doctors told my parents that, when I was 18 and in the ICU. The doctor, clearly, was wrong. Sometimes doctors don't do the digging. They don't commit to the patient. They just write a patient off. And that leads to, well, she's going to die anyway.
(We're all going to die anyway....)
But--just because a person is suffering or very ill--that does not mean we move in to kill them.
Denying air, hydration, food, to a person in a coma, a persistent vegetative state, or what have you--that is unconscionable. That is not the same thing as hospice. That is killing someone. It's no different that putting a pillow over someone's face.
In case you're new to the Alfie case, quick summary--the boy has a neurological disorder that the doctors haven't figured out. It's destroying his brain. The doctors have decided that nothing more can be done, and so they took him off his ventilator. Alfie is breathing with only the assistance of oxygen cannulas now (no mechanical ventilation). He is continuing to breathe. The hospital has now given him oxygen and hydration, I think.
The parents wanted to take Alfie to another hospital for treatment. The courts in the UK have denied the parents this, because in the UK, the parents aren't the final arbiter of the child's best interest--the doctors are.
Guys, this is terrifying. I love doctors. But doctors can be wrong. Three doctors, at least, were wrong with me--and almost killed me, three times.
Doctors have also saved my life--three times--because they didn't listen to the first doctors!
The doctors decided that Alfie will never get better. That he is suffering. So it's better to end his suffering....by killing him. Because they don't think he can get better. So...it's better than he's dead.
That's the same thinking that undergirds wrongful birth suits. And we know how I feel about that. That a life with suffering is not worth living.
I wish I didn't have to write about this stuff. But I do. And it makes me sad that I do.
Guys, please, don't think that these things are all the same. They're not. End of life issues are complicated, but please educate yourselves.
Normally, as you know, I don't do a blog post on Saturdays, but I had a stomach bug on Friday, which derailed my plans to do one then, so, here we are: Saturday! (Stomach's fine now.)
First, the winner of the Cultivate Book: Cristina! Yay! I'll get this book out to you in the next week!
Second: Next week marks a year since my appearance on Jeopardy!, which you can read all about here. The Tour de France, people! :-P (If you don't get that, read the posts....or try to find my episode online. I wish Jeopardy re-runs ran around here....)
Third: Take a look at this!
I'm kind of a fan. Do you like it? Let me know! I took the photo at the Franciscans of the Holy Land Monastery in D.C. a few years ago and I thought it was a good choice for the cover.
And finally, in the knitting area: here's the second Christmas gift in progress.
Yes, it's the same pattern as the first scarf. But man, I love this yarn too! This is called Sugar Cookie--same yarn as the last one, too.
So, that's my miscellany for this Saturday! Hope you have a great weekend!
“We are not some casual and meaningless product of evolution. Each of us is the result of a thought of God. Each of us is willed, each of us is loved, each of us is necessary.”
Friday the annual March for Life was held in Washington, D.C.
It was also Holocaust Remembrance Day.
And the day that President Trump signed an executive order lowering the number of refugees that can enter the United States, as well as denying entry to certain refugees for 90 days, and a host of other things pertaining to refugees around the world.
What do these things have in common?
They're all about life issues.
We in the pro-life movement are often accused of only caring about people "before they're born", and that if we really cared about people, we'd make contraception more widely available, so we wouldn't "need" abortions. We'd also support social programs that help people instead of cutting them.
There's a lot to untangle there. And I wasn't even going to write about this, because people know how I feel (I don't really sugarcoat it). But I feel like there needs to be some sort of response to all this, even if it's my inadequate one. So here we go.
First, there is no barrier to getting birth control. I really don't know why people think this. Condoms are available at any corner drug store or grocery. There was a basket of them in the entryway of my campus health center in college, free for the taking. Birth control pills can be prescribed by any OB-GYN in the nation. Yes, you have to pay for them. Shock. I'm of the opinion that things like birth control and Viagra should not be free, especially when people have to pay thousands of dollars for drugs that keep them alive. If you want to have sex, and you don't want to get pregnant, take the proper precautions. Be responsible. If you do get pregnant, abortion is not "health care." It is not birth control. It is killing a human being. Full stop. So, in order to avoid pregnancy, either don't have sex, or be responsible. And don't tell me that you can't afford a condom. And if the guy won't wear it, then, as a self-respecting woman, you need to dump him fast, because he is not a responsible dude who cares about you and the potential consequences of actions. Don't be dumb, ladies. Please. *
We care about unborn children because they need someone to care about them. They have no voice. They can't make cool YouTube videos or get covered by CNN as they hold a rally. They only have us. And if the most fundamental right--the right to exist--is denied, then how can we say we're for peace anywhere else? Is the logical failure apparent yet? It should be. We have to start at the bottom, at the bedrock. All life is worthy of being protected.
Supporting social programs does not mean that you support government programs. Most of the pro-life people I know (If not all of them) also support pro-life charities that help pregnant women. They're just not government-run programs. They're private charities/organizations. Some examples are:
Pregnancy Decisions Health Centers
These are just a very, very few places. But there are so many more, that exist all over the country, and are spreading. Don't say that the pro-life movement doesn't care about these children and these women. Because we do. Small government conservatives generally don't want government doing a bunch of things. We want communities to do them--and they are.
Now, does that mean that there shouldn't be a basic floor that people don't fall beneath? Sure. But that's sort of outside the scope of this discussion, and good-hearted and good-intentioned people can disagree on how best that should occur.
Now, if we are to be pro-life in the best sense that does mean respecting all life--realizing that all life has value. That does mean that the death penalty has extremely limited applications (as the Catechism of the Catholic Church says, here). That means we don't kill people who are old, or terminally ill. It does mean that we should help refugees. The vetting process is intense. Now, does that mean that nations should let in whoever wants to come to their country? Well, probably not. States are sovereign and they are allowed to make decisions that they feel are necessary to protect their people (and immigration laws exist for a reason. But we're talking about refugees, here, not "regular" immigration.) But the Church says in the catechism that:
2237 Political authorities are obliged to respect the fundamental rights of the human person. They will dispense justice humanely by respecting the rights of everyone, especially of families and the disadvantaged.
The political rights attached to citizenship can and should be granted according to the requirements of the common good. They cannot be suspended by public authorities without legitimate and proportionate reasons. Political rights are meant to be exercised for the common good of the nation and the human community.
Refugees are certainly among the disadvantaged. We shouldn't act out of fear, but out of logic, out of consideration for all sides. And this extends to administrations on both the left and the right.
And Holocaust Remembrance Day?
Jews tried to flee Europe in order to escape Hitler and the rise of Nazism. And the U.S. did not respond well. The book Alex's Wake tells the story of Jewish refugees who were coming to Havana, but were denied entry there and in the United States and Canada, and forced back to Europe and the Holocaust.
Anne Frank's father tried to arrange immigration to the U.S., but was denied. And we know how that story ended.
We look back on these stories and ask, how could the government have made those decisions? Probably because of fear. How could the U.S. government incarcerate thousands of Japanese-Americans?
I think we have to learn from history. And we have to support life. I can't imagine being one of the people in the airport, thinking they're going to be a place of safety, and being told that they can't leave--that they're doomed to stay in a war zone. Think about that for a second.
We have to protect life in all its stages. We cannot allow people to become "other" because we are all children of God. No one is other.
We cannot look away. We can't turn aside.
We might disagree on policy decisions--how best to educate children, how best to provide health care to people, what the tax rate should be. But we cannot disagree on the fact that all of us are human beings, and all of us are God's. We are responsible for each other at a basic level.
Babies. Jews. Refugees.
People.
________
* That being said, I'm Catholic, and I don't believe sex outside of marriage is moral, nor is the use of artificial birth control inside of marriage. I know not everyone feels that way. :) I'm talking from a policy perspective here, not a religious one.
I.
In case you missed it: Thirty Days of Beauty continued this week. It was really all I wrote this week, since I was in Houston visiting my sister, and didn't bring the laptop with me. So go enjoy those posts. :)
I will be updating my Houston Postcard next week with the places I did this trip, so it will be more Comprehensive for all you Houston-bound people!
II.
When I was in Houston I did a lot of sketching, including making a point of taking my supplies to the beach at Galveston. I knew that the paint would dry faster in the heat, but I wasn't prepared for how much faster. Still, I'm pretty happy with what I managed to get.
III.
If you follow me on Instagram, you are aware that my sister has a cat. Bella is a pretty sweet kitty, who flicks her tail whenever you say her name, and likes to try to get extra kibble out of the automatic feeder. (My sister is a nurse who works night shift, so automatic feeding for Bella is a good thing!) She discovered that by moving her paw under the slot, she could get extra kibble to drop down. Sometimes. Never having lived with a cat, I was hugely amused by her behavior.
IV.
There were FOUR bookstores visited on this trip, guys. FOUR. One of them, yes, was a Barnes and Noble, and I wasn't there for very long, but still. FOUR!
Brazos, of course. I introduced Melanie to its beautiful-ness. Small but mighty.
We checked out Galveston Bookshop--didn't buy anything, though. It looked like it might be a decent place to prowl around and look for books. It's mostly used books, with some new, and they have an excellent collection of books about Galveston and Texas, if that's your thing. They also have a shop cat!
The last shop we visited was Murder By the Book, which was excellent. It's a lot more than mystery novels (at first I was like, mystery novels are not my thing), but I had a lot of fun here. More about this guy later.
V.
This chocolate cake, people. THIS CHOCOLATE CAKE:
Does it remind you of this scene in Matilda, or what?!
It reminded me of that. :) And Mel and I love Matilda. So extra bonus points.
And no. I did not eat that entire piece. Do I look crazy? But it was magically delicious.
VI.
One of the things that I'm terrible at vis-a-vis traveling is unpacking. My suitcase sits in the main room and is gradually unpacked over a series of days. The longer the trip, the longer it takes to sort everything out!
VII.
And finally....
I wrote a piece for the Cochlear Website about my Jeopardy! experience. You can read it here.
It went up on Tuesday when I was in Texas so I didn't have time to write about it. :) But here you go!
I.
OK, so if you missed the wrap up on Tuesday:
If you want more Jeopardy things, then click the "Jeopardy " link under the title of this post, and you will see all the goodness!
II.
I was at a party, graciously hosted by Tiff and Bill, on Monday, so I wasn't tending to my social media. However, that didn't mean that social media didn't have thoughts about me....
So, um, I don't know what that means.
BUT it did give me a great title for my memoir: Absurdly Happy. What do you think? :) There is a subtitle coming. I just don't know what.
And some Tweeters did do a nice job sticking up for me:
Matt wins the prize! :)
Should I change my ringtone to Hello, Dolly? :)
III.
What Alex said to me after the show: He was impressed that I wrote down my answer for Final Jeopardy so quickly. "That was the fastest writing I've ever seen!" So, that can be my claim to fame, beyond all other things.
He also explained why that was the Final Jeopardy question--the Tour is going on right about now. So, it's pertinent.
(I mean, somewhere. Maybe not here--in Columbus it's All Convention, All The Time....)
IV.
Someone did recognize me in the grocery store yesterday....
I had a craving for cereal, so I made a quick run to the store. In the cereal aisle, a woman stopped, looked at me, looked at the cereal, looked at me....
Her: Can I ask you a weird question?
Me: Yes.
Her: Were you just on Jeopardy?
Me: Yes.
Her: (Squeal--no, I didn't make that up) We watch that every night! We were so happy someone from here was on!
She was very nice. But it was very surreal, being recognized in the cereal aisle.
V.
After my episode wrapped, Mary and I went to the Santa Monica Pier and had lunch. I could've stayed to watch the rest of the day's episodes, but I thought it was time to get out of there....and I really didn't want to see another show that would've had "better" questions air. I didn't need that sort of thing. So we decided to leave right after I signed all the forms. One of the lovely producers called me a taxi, and we headed off to explore.
VI.
I don't know if I get a tape of the episode. I sort of hope I do? It's currently on my parents' DVR. :)
VII.
It was definitely an excellent experience--one I'm glad I got to do, and I'm so glad that you all got to watch it (or at least, most of you.) It was also nice to bring some positive coverage to the CF community!
So, assuming you all watched last night, you know what happened. :)
I was actually really freaked out all day yesterday. Even though, obviously, I knew what was going to happen, no on else did--and I felt like I was going to let people down. Is that weird? It might be weird.
I think everyone expects you to go out there and just smoke the competition. And that would've been nice....but, you know, that doesn't always happen.
But I got money, and I had a great time. And I'm really glad I got the Final Jeopardy question right. At the end of the episode, when we were "chatting", Alex said he'd never seen anyone write so quickly. EVER! So that's my claim to fame. I knew what the answer was before he was done reading the question, so I was ready with my writing device!
The website from Monday morning.
Both the people I played with were great people. Ellen and I had been in the Monday group together and we'd gotten to talk a bit, so I was glad that, if anyone was going to beat me, it was someone nice. Hans was a real gentleman, although, at over six feet, it was hard to get him, Ellen, and I in the same frame on the camera! There are squares you stand on that will go up to make you taller--but nothing to make you shorter!
Alex was nice to us, which surprised some people. I mean, I've seen him be sort of snarky to people on TV, but he was nice to all the contestants I saw tape. And he was very patient when answering the audience questions, which he must have answered five bazillion times .
In terms of questions-I'm mad I missed Franz Liszt. I'm pretty sure my grandma groaned when I missed that. But I was thinking of Hans, and.....yeah. I also new all the Dickens questions, but I only got in for one. And I knew that last one, but I didn't want to be wrong at that point in the game. I had to read Hard Times in college, and it's super didactic and very much not my favorite Dickens. Alas!
It's easy to beat yourself up for the questions you missed. I'm trying too hard not to do that. :) Overall, it was a great experience and I had a lot of fun. Out of 100,000 people who take the online test annually (it's only offered once a year!), only about 400 make it on the show. So that, in and of itself, is something to be proud of, no matter how I did.
I will have more tidbits to share in the coming days!
I.
OK , first of all--
Check your local listings and all that. :-p
II.
Second:
If you have Sirius, tune in. If you don't, there might be an iTunes link. I will try to post.
III.
On Sunday, my parents took me out to celebrate The Anniversary. We wanted to go to Fado, the place where we had eaten dinner right before I got my call, but it's an Irish pub that shows European Soccer, and there was a huge game on. So we went to PF Chang's instead, which is just as delightful.
After that, my parents surprised me with a super-duper treat.
Chocolate fondue, people.
Sadly, I have no pictures of the Gloriousness that was Chocolate Caramel Toffee fondue, with magical pieces of fruit, a blondie, rice krispy treats, pound cake, and a brownie. Yes, all of that, per person. You got a lovely little tray of items to dip in the bubbling, magical chocolate.
Guys, I would've married that fondue. Or at least licked the bowl if it wasn't so crazy hot. I didn't feel like burning my tongue.
But it was so delightful. Right now, writing about it, I'm salivating. I want more! MOREEEE!
IV.
And if you're not an organ donor, and you have an iPhone, you can sign up RIGHT FROM THE PHONE, people! RIGHT FROM YOUR PHONE! You don't even have to go to a pesky website!
Do it. Really. Sign up.
Oh, you want to know why?
Well, if not knowing me isn't cool enough.....here's a list of some of the things I've done post transplant.
V.
Gone to California; gone to Boston; gone to NYC and Chicago; discovered the epic-ness that is the Outer Banks; been in a ton of theater; tried tofu; been on Jeopardy!; been to Disneyland; eaten in Beverly Hills; started pin collecting; gotten my own apartment; had several jobs; left the job to be a freelancer; written a few novels and a memoir (that eventually someone will want to publish....)
VI.
Seen my godson graduate from high school; seen my sister graduate from high school and college; seen my brother graduate from college and become a Steeler sportswriter; Penguin Stanley Cups!; been my cousin Paige's confirmation sponsor; pinned my sister at her graduation from nursing school; seen multiple small children be born that I never would've seen other wise (and that would have made the guy below SAD)
No transplant, no meeting Justin. He's only seven.
Been in my other cousin Justin's wedding, and met his adorable kids....
Been in a million OTHER weddings, including this couple's....
These people rock my world. A lot.
Met hundreds of people I wouldn't have met otherwise; been to Edel with awesome, awesome people; become a Lay Dominican; read the Outlander books (this would've made my life so sad, people....to not know Jamie and Claire!).....and about a thousand others....seen the resurgence of the Pirates into a good baseball team!....
VII.
Organ donation doesn't just save one person. It saves families. It saves friends. It saves entire networks of people. I mean, not that I'm all that or anything, but I do have friends and family that would miss me (I hope!). I would've missed so much without these 11 extra years.
Guys. Be an organ donor. Save lives. Give people joy and grace.
linking up with Kelly and the gang.
I.
There is logic in that title. Really. :)
So last week I was watching Army Wives on Netflix (Yes, sometimes I watch soap-ish TV. DO NOT JUDGE.) There was a kid with CF who was brought into the ER with a collapsed lung.
Now, to treat a collapsed lung, an interventional radiologist (so no, not just anyone) has to insert a chest tube, in order to reinflate the lung. It requires cutting. It requires stitches. It requires boxes. It basically sucks. It's my second-least favorite thing to have done, medically.
(What's first? A pH probe. Seriously. Don't ask.
Oh, you asked? OK.
A pH probe involves sticking a tube up your nose, down your throat, and into your stomach. And the tube sticks to your face and dangles outside of your body because it's attached to a stupid meter. It sucks. A lot. And it hurts. A lot. Basically, it's a tool left over from the Inquisition.)
So anyway, while watching the show--the kid had no tube left in. It was basically, we stick in a tube! The lung reinflates! Let's go home tomorrow!
Um, no.
Hence, the below photo, which I created to express my displeasure.
One does not simply not keep a chest tube in. Sorry. And to remove it also requires an interventional radiologist. Yeah. Stitches, remember.
II.
So, please make the above meme a thing. I think it's awesome and the Internet needs it!
III.
I have a clinic appointment on Monday, so I'll report back with the results when I get them. Oh what joy, oh what rapture. :) The nice thing about clinic visits in the summer is that the rush hour traffic is significantly better.
IV.
The recap from this week, in case you missed it:
Summer scribbles: A taste of summer (My strawberry salad recipe)
Catholic 101: Apostolic Succession
V.
Also, I got a picture with this guy:
You know, some random Canadian. ;-)
The dress is from Shabby Apple. It looks a bit better on TV. I think. Since the photos are taken during one of the commercial breaks, you don't really have time to primp.
VI.
I will also be on Jen Fulwiler's Radio Show that day, to tease the episode. :) If you have Sirius, be sure to tune in! I'll have more info as we get closer.
VII.
Another thing about that photo? The microphone pack is attached to my bra strap. Really. They have a guy who attaches all the microphones. He asks before he attaches it. And he's very professional about it. But that's where the microphone pack is. They remove it before they shoot the "let's all talk at the end of the show" thing, so you won't see it. :)
I.
First up--this week's post roundup:
SITS girls Summer Scribbles No. 1
Catholic 101: Those "Screwball Apostles"
II.
I'm going to Pittsburgh this weekend for my godson/cousin's high school graduation. He actually graduated last week, but the party is this weekend. I can't believe he's that old, first off. I was fifteen when he was born! He'll be going to Pitt to study computer science. He's a good kid, and I'm so lucky to be his godmother.
III.
IV.
(Yes, that merited the cool font. You know it did.)
I'm actually sort of nervous about people watching it. I can see the whole slew of tweets and Facebook postings of "YOU IDIOT! How did you not know THAT?" And honestly, there's at least one question I'm still beating myself up about. :-P
I did manage to impress Alex T., though. I did. But that is a story for the day the show airs. :)
V.
I did manage to whip the sketchbook out this week, not once, but TWICE! Oh yeah!
Lunchtime sketching--lamp and a wonky pitcher. :-P (I was trying to do single line contour on that guy, so....)
Plant at Dawes Arboretum.
VI.
California legalized assisted suicide this week. Why that's a bad idea.
VII.
And my hockey team is continuing to hate me--game 6 in San Jose.....
