Emily M. DeArdo

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health,7 Quick Takes

Seven Quick Takes Jumble Bag

7 Quick Takes, food, journal, Lent, the bookEmily DeArdo5 Comments

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Around these parts this week…

Yarn Along

My interview for the Ave Explores Lent Podcast is live!


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I’ve started Bullet Journaling again—I’ve missed how it keeps all my lists and various things together, so I’m back to doing that. It’s fun! At least I think it is. I’m a big believer in having my life in one place. I still use my Emily Ley Simplified Planner, but my bullet journal is a place to keep my lists, medical information, travel plans, all sorts of things like that in one place as opposed to scattered throughout the house on pieces of paper.

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Trying to get back in the workout groove—I’ve worked out three days this week so far and hoping I can do it today. I’m just so darn tired. Maybe it’s the weather? It’s really gray here. Hopefully I’ll perk up in a little bit and manage to do something!

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Next Saturday I’m going to see the touring production of My Fair Lady and I am really excited about that. I haven’t been to a show in forever. Really. And I’ve never seen My Fair Lady on stage. So I’m excited about that!

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Favorite thing I’ve cooked this week: Outlander KItchen’s Scotch Broth. Give it a try, it’s really good! (If you can’t find pot or pearl barley, you can use quinoa or couscous instead!) And it’s so not hard. It cooks for a while—so it takes awhile—but it’s mostly hands-off cooking.

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A photo I took last week of Venus and the moon:

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How’s your Lent going? Did we all make it through the first week OK? :)

Seven Quick Takes--Friday after Ash Wednesday

7 Quick Takes, Dominicans, Lent, the bookEmily DeArdo1 Comment

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So first, around the blog this week:

My Interview with Danielle Bean is live, and the book is a Lenten Pick!

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My interview with Kyle Heimann is now live: listen to it here!

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This week’s Memento Mori art: El Greco, St. Francis Venerating the Crucifix

This week’s Memento Mori art: El Greco, St. Francis Venerating the Crucifix

(Yes, I’m going to try to have Memento Mori art during Lent!)

Speaking of Lent, how’s it going for you? We’re two days in….are you feeling OK? Keeping up with penances and prayers? Remember, no meat today! Go to your parish fish fry!

My Lent has been going pretty well so far. I’m doing a lot of study—a lot of Lenten reading. One of the things I’m trying to do is order my day around the monastic timetable of the nuns in Summit, NJ (I had discerned entering with them back in the day—fun fact!). No, I am not (yet) getting up at 5:00. No, I probably will never voluntarily get up at 5:00! But I do stick to the times of work and study that are here, and that gives me set times to get things done, as it were-household chores, and my Lenten reading and such.

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Currently I’m reading Union with God, Exalted, Consecration to St. Joseph, and 33 Days to Greater Glory. Oh, and using the Memento Mori devotional and journal in the evening right before bed. Whew! It’s a lot. But Union with God and Exalted are for study—I read a chapter a day and take notes—while the Consecration and 33 Days are devotional. That helps break it down.

I’m also saying my breviary—lauds and vespers, of course, and on days when I’m home and can do it, the Office of Readings and None around 3:00.

It probably sounds like a lot, but remember I’m not married and my job is….well, writing. :) And to write, you gotta read and study! It’s very Dominican, my Lent plan.

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Obviously if you’re still looking for Lent reading, um, my book is good for that! ALSO, Take Up and Read’s Hosanna study, of the Gospel of Matthew, is GREAT, go get that too! (It is also, at the time I’m writing this, on sale!)

Also, if you’ve read my book, can you take a second to leave a review on Amazon? The more reviews, the more publicity it gets on Amazon, which means more sales! Yay!

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We actually had a snow day yesterday. As in, it was cold and there was snow. Amazing. It’s been such a milk winter (I AM NOT COMPLAINING!) that I actually wanted a snow day, and I got it. I did a lot of work on my November Blanket (which is a ginormous monster right now but really close to being done!), because when it’s cold you want a big fat knitting project that will keep you warm while you work on it!


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Can you believe it’s March on Sunday? Where did February go? January always seems so long and then February is just gone, and it’s even a leap year! But I’m excited for March, because I’m going to get to see the touring production of My Fair Lady!

Seven Quick Takes, the PRE LENT edition!

7 Quick Takes, Lent, the bookEmily DeArdo3 Comments

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OK so Ash Wednesday—and Lent—are NEXT WEEK.

Let’s get ready to Leeeeeeeeeeeeeent!

First off I assume you have my book in hand, yes? :) Because it’s perfect for Lent! (If not, go get it at any of these fine retailers! [scroll down to the bottom] Or ask your local Catholic bookshop to get it for you!)

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Penitent Mary Magdalene, El Greco (notice memento mori!)

Penitent Mary Magdalene, El Greco (notice memento mori!)

OK, so, that’s one thing you can do for Lent and I would greatly appreciate it. :)

But let’s talk other things.

Before we start, here is the USCCB’s Lent homepage, with resources and documents and all sorts of things.

There are the three “pillars” of Lent: Fasting, Almsgiving, and Prayer. Let’s talk fasting first.

Fasting normally means food. It means one full meal and two “snacky meals” that do not equal a full meal. Obviously no snacking in between meals. This applies to Catholics 18-59, and Ash Wednesday and Good Friday are the only required days of fast.

If you are like me, and fasting from food is not permitted for medical reasons, then you can fast from other things. I will “fast” from social media on these days—facebook, IG, Twitter, etc.

In this category you can also include what you’re giving up for Lent. For me, it’s book buying, and yes, that is hard. This year I’m expanding that to cover things that aren’t necessary. (The one exception to this is the NYC trip in April. It’s during Holy Week, it’s Birthday Week, and I’m going to buy scrummy yarn at Purl Soho. I JUST AM.)

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Let’s talk almsgiving. Obviously tithing to your parish needs to happen. St. John Paul II said that when we tithe, it should feel like a sacrifice. So maybe take a look at your charitable giving and see if you can up it—maybe not permanently, but for Lent? Can you drop some money in the church poor box (if you have one), or give to the charitable works collection?

Let’s also remember to support charities that do work both domestically and internationally. Mary’s Meals is a great example and one of my favorite charities. For $21, they can provide food for one child at a place of education for a year. A year! For the cost of three months of Disney Plus! Or, in my case, a hardback book. That’s amazing.

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And finally, prayer.

This can include, of course, The Stations of the Cross. You can perhaps get to Mass a bit earlier to spend time in prayer before the tabernacle. You could add a holy hour (holy 15 minutes, if you’ve never done a holy hour before?). You could add a daily rosary with your family. There are so many things you can do here.

Some good Lenten reading in this stack!

Some good Lenten reading in this stack!

Here’s my general plan: I’m going to add another hour of the Liturgy of the Hours, either Office of Readings or Compline or one of the midday little hours. My spiritual reading is going way up: I’m reading The Dark Night of the Soul and also Union With God According to St. John of the Cross. (So I’m doing a little Carmelite spirituality this Lent!)

I’m also using Sonja Corbitt’s Exalted: How the Power of the Magnificat Can Transform Us as a guide to lectio/study. Not sure which it will be yet. Maybe both! I’ll also be reading Fr. Gaitley’s 33 Days to Greater Glory, because I adore John’s Gospel—it’s my favorite—so this book is perfect for me.

Generally, I want to re-direct my reading and make it more spiritually-based and I need to study a bit more. Lent is a great time for that.

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In order to have more time for this, I’m cutting back on social media, not entirely like on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, but…partially. I’ll be implementing the Advent rule of a “social media cutoff time” in the evening. For Advent, it was 9:45. For Lent, it’s 9:15—unless there is hockey on, and then I’ll stay on Twitter to the end of the game so I can follow. No hockey, no extra tweet time. I’ll also be on social media in “chunks” during the day—like a fifteen minute block here or there, to do things and check notifications or whatever—but not sort of continually. I’m still thinking about how that will go. Since I have book promotion to do and book events to talk about, I do have to be on SM to share all of that with you, and I want to share it, so that’ll be part of what happens when I am on. It’s more about being intentional with the use, I think.

So that brings me to….

What are you doing for Lent?

Tell me in the comments! :)

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I have a diabetes education class today which’ll be interesting, because my type of diabetes is interesting. I take insulin, but I’m not a true Type I. My body doesn’t use insulin correctly, but I’m not a true Type 2. Sigh. It’s a mess and a half. And it’s not even true CF Related Diabetes (CFRD), because my pancreas does make insulin and my body does use it to a certain extent! Aye caramba!

I’m hoping that the educator will be able to answer some of my burning questions, though!

We’re tweaking the insulin a bit—I’ve added some intermediate acting at night which has had a nice effect on my morning BGLs. So that’s good!

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Post from the last week:

Signing at the CCWC!

Also, if you want a signed copy of the book, email me! They’re $20 and that includes shipping. If you have a copy and would like a bookplate (which I sign), email me as well!

Seven Quick Takes--Authenticity, Book Signings, Etc.

7 Quick Takes, health, the bookEmily DeArdo4 Comments

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From the blog this week:

“Quote Me” podcast and book signing on Saturday!

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So, authenticity.

In one of my interviews for Living Memento Mori, I was asked if it was hard to be so open about my health in the book.

“No.” I said. I didn’t even have to think about this. To me, it wasn’t hard, it was necessary. For me to be real, to really reach the reader, I had to be authentic. And that meant showing what really goes on.

I don’t show everything in the book. The book is limited in scope, to an extent, and so not everything is there, and not everything ever will be. There are things that are private.

But for the most part, I wanted to share how I really feel. I do yell at God. I get mad. I get angry. I throw things. Sometimes I act like a five year old. Like last night.

There were a lot of nit-picky things going on. I had whiffed an interview question. It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m single. And I really really really didn’t want to be a pincushion last night. I didn’t want to test my blood sugar before I went to bed. I didn’t want to shoot insulin into myself with crappy pen needles. I just did not want to.

I grouched a bit. I cried some. And then I did it. And I shared how I felt on Twitter.

Why?

Not for pity or sympathy of whatever. But because I want to be authentic with people. I want to be real. And while I do, generally, handle things with some degree of aplomb, sometimes I am just done. Sometimes, in the words of the musical Side Show, “I want to be like everyone else.”

I’m not.

So every so often, I have a breakdown, but then I just do it again. I feel a lot better today.

But I always want to be honest with my readers. I don’t want you to think I just sail along on a boat of Saint-like acceptance and Oh, everything is wonderful all the time!

It’s not. And that’s just fine. It’s OK to get angry. The key is to do it and then pick up again.

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OK, so, whew, got that done. :)

BOOK SIGNING TOMORROW! Catholic Women’s Conference here in town! YES, you can get tickets at the door!

I am signing during the breakfast break after Mass at the Ave Maria Press table, which is usually right by the eating area. Come say hi! I would love to meet you and sign your book!

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Next week I think two things happen—my Girlfriends interview with Danielle Bean goes live, and I think an interview for Aleteia (Catholic news/lifestyle website) goes up. I will link to them here and on SM and on the media page when they do!

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If you would like a signed book, email me and we’ll do it! They’re $20 and that includes shipping!

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OUTLANDER is back!

I love Outlander. It’s my favorite. I flew threw the series when I was having all my heart thythm issues in 2010—so much so that the clerk at the local B&N told my dad, “Does she know that this is the last one?” when I got to the (then) last installment.

The TV series airs on Starz and season 5 starts on Sunday—but if you have the Starz app, like I do, you can watch the season premiere now! Yay!

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Normal reminders to buy the book, sign up for the newsletter, etc. And please leave a review on Amazon if you’ve read the book! Thank you thank you!

Seven Quick Takes--My baby is two weeks old, upcoming events, knitting, and common sense

7 Quick Takes, health, knitting, links, the bookEmily DeArdoComment
seven quick takes.jpg

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It’s Seven Quick Takes time, YAYYYY!

Posts from this week:

Know Your Body, Meds Have Side Effects, and Being Your Own Health Care Advocate

Yarn Along


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The first post is important, I think. Yes, it’s long. But people need to know that you have to be your own medical advocate—you can’t depend on other people all the time, sadly!—and, yes, medicines have side effects that you may or may not get. I think a lot of people freak out at the idea that meds can cause bad things to happen to you, and yes, that is true. I lost my hearing because of meds. But, um, also, alive. It’s a trade off.

Anyway, it’s a long post but I think it’s worth reading as just a general part of adulting. Know your body!

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My book is two weeks old! Yayyyyy!

I’ve been doing a lot of interviews, getting lots of good reviews, and I’m really happy about all of that. If you want to get a copy, go here for all the options.

Also, if you buy it at Ave Maria Press, you can get 25% off! Yay! Enter MEMENTO at check out!

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I still haven’t checked out bookstores to see if my book is there, so hopefully I’ll see it “in the wild” soon. :) If you do, take a picture and tag me on Instagram!

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It’s actually going to snow tonight. We’ve had a pretty mild winter so the idea of snow is like, oh, cold? Snow? Winter? What is this madness? Oh well.

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I’m going to be at the Columbus Catholic Women’s Conference next weekend signing my book! Come join me!

If you want to read articles or listen to podcasts and interviews, I’m linking them on the “media” page under Living Memento Mori at the top of the site. So you won’t miss anything. If the story or interview can be linked, I will link it, and I’ll also post on social media (and here, of course) about interviews as they air!

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If you’ve read the book, you know about Rita, one of the best nurses at The Resort and a great friend. She and I are going out to dinner tonight to celebrate the publication, so yay!!!!

Have a good weekend!

How to be your own health care advocate

CF, essays, health, how to, transplantEmily DeArdoComment
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Today I’m going to share some hard won wisdom with you!

A friend of mine who also has CF said that we’re the “marines of health care.” And that’s true. We’ve had decades of experience working closely with doctors, hospitals, and medication regimens. And what we think of as obvious is not so obvious to the rest of humanity.

So I’m going to share some tips with you today to help you have better health!

I’m going to start with what is probably the most important tip:

Know your baseline.

What I mean by that is know yourself. How do you normally feel? What’s your general energy level? How much sleep do you normally need—and get—and what do you feel best with? (For me, it’s about nine hours.) How does caffeine affect you? (Or doesn’t it?)

All these things are your baseline—how you normally feel when you’re healthy and everything is chugging along just fine. This even includes stuff like how many times you normally go to the bathroom. (I’m not kidding. For a diabetic, this is important to know—and same with CF.)

You might not have thought about this before, but when you feel “off”, it’s because you’re unconsciously comparing your state to how you normally feel—aka, your baseline.

For example, my right hip tends to bother me on and off. It’s not a big deal, I’m aware of it, it’s been checked out. But if it suddenly became really painful, that would be an anomaly.

I knew that my blood glucose was really high, without even testing it, when I was dropping weight really easily and going to the bathroom more often, and carrying water around with me. Those are all not normal feelings for me.

Knowing how you feel—both physically and emotionally and mentally-is key to judging if something is wrong with you.

I knew that the type of insulin I was on over the summer was wrong for me—on a lot of levels—because I became a really awful person! I was snappy and lost my temper at everything and just hated everything, and this is not me!

So you have to know how you feel normally, so you know how you feel when you’re sick, or when something is off.

All drugs have side effects

The questions are: will you get side effects, and if you do, how bad are they?

People are generally shocked to hear that meds can cause problems. Yes, they can. Heck, water can cause problems if you drink too much of it. If you take too much Tylenol, your kidneys are not gonna be happy with you!

Every medication has side effects. Not every person will experience any, or all, of them.

But a side effect alone is not enough to not take the med.

For example: I used to take cipro for infections. People were always shocked. “Don’t you know that class of meds can cause tendon issues?!” they would cry.

Well, yes, I did (do) know that. But the thing is, I didn’t have a choice. This was what I had to take so, to be honest, I didn’t die.

I lost my hearing because of ototoxic meds. That was a choice we made, so I would not die.

Now, I can’t take cipro or any drugs in its class anymore, because my tendons are starting to get weird with it. I can’t tolerate it anymore. So that means I have fewer options for when I get sick.

I take prednisone daily. I have taken it for 15 years and I will take it until I die. It’s what’s causing all my blood glucose issues. But I can’t not take the pred. I tried to go off it. My body hated it. My joints, in particular, were not really happy. I take nexium, a proton pump inhibitor, even though I know it might cause bone issues and all sorts of other things, but reflux can lead to cancer and rejection, so, again—balancing act. I take immunosuppression meds, because I have to to stay alive, even though it ups my cancer risk by about a factor of ten, especially skin cancer.

Sometimes you start a med, have a rough few days, and then your body adjusts. Pre-transplant, I was on bactrim and cipro and a million other meds every day. At first, this was rough. Eventually, I got used to it.

The lesson here is, if you’re having side effect from a med, and it’s severe, then you need to talk to your doctor about it—especially if you’re having any sort of depression, anxiety, or suicidal ideation. Then, you must call your doctor IMMEDIATELY. This isn’t something to mess around with. Stop the med, talk to the doctor, figure out another plan! There are lots of meds out there! Find what works for you!

You have to be aware of how a med affects you. That goes back to knowing your baseline.

But yes, when you are taking a medication, your body might not like it. That doesn’t mean that it’s a bad drug. It just isn’t working for you, and that’s fine.

If you want to know the side effects of a med, they are easily google-able, or you can ask your pharmacist or your doctor. Every time I go to pick up meds, I get asked if I want to talk to the pharmacist about it. EVERY TIME. So, if you want to know, do that!

You have to know your medical history

You—as in, you yourself—must know your medical history. You must know what drugs you take and why. You must know the dosages. You must know what drugs you cannot take (if any). You have to know what is contraindicated for you.

For example: I can’t have MRIs. I can’t have PICC lines (it’s PICC, not PIC. Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter, folks.), because there aren’t any more spots for them! I can’t have zofran because it makes me vomit. These are all things I have learned and I often have to tell medical professionals these things. Because, they don’t know. Or they haven’t read my chart. (grumble grumble.)

My parents know these things as well. I have my med list and issue list on my phone so I can just whip it out in an ER or a new doctor’s office. It is a good idea to have someone else know your medical history so if you have to go somewhere in an emergency, that person can either say, yes, here’s the deal, or, “here it is on her phone.” (Now, for me, anyone who has read the book knows basically all of my medical history, ha!) I don’t expect people to be able to spout off all of it—except my parents, and they can do it—but I do have friends who know, OK, this is the deal. Especially when I travel with people, I have to tell them things that are relevant, like, me and the sun are not friends. I might have to stay inside for certain hours. I have to check my blood sugar. I might need you to get me juice. Etc.

But you have to be your own advocate. You have to say, I’m sorry, I can’t do that—and why. You have to say, I cannot take that med, or have that procedure, or whatever. (For Catholics, this also includes why you’re not taking birth control pills for contraceptive purposes! Not that you need to go all Humane Vitae on the doctor!)

Sometimes you have to talk doctors off ledges. Sometimes I get a new doctor who doesn’t realize I’m genetically anemic (I have thalassemia minor.) He’ll freak out when he sees my iron counts. But I’ve always been anemic, and we don’t do anything about it. It just is. I’m used to it!

And finally….

Be aware of change

Sometimes you’ll be on a med for awhile and you’ll be fine, and then you’ll notice…issues. That can happen. Sometimes a med builds up in your system and then it causes issues that were not apparent in the beginning. (Ototoxic meds, looking at you!) So if you have a chronic condition, you do need to evaluate. Again, know your baseline. Know what you’re being treated for. Sometimes I have to say, guys, this med isn’t working anymore. And we figure out something else.

Essentially, we all have to be aware of how we normally feel, what we’re taking, why we’re taking it, and our own health history. This enables you to be your own best advocate, which is vitally important.

SQT--A reaaaaaallly interesting week!

7 Quick Takes, health, hearing loss, the bookEmily DeArdo3 Comments
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

And it’s gonna be fast quick takes today!

  1. OK, so my body does weird things before big events. Jeopardy taping? Pneumonia. I guess for the book release month, my blood sugars will go nuts! But it’s OK, we’ve got them under control now.

  2. But to get them under control, Dad and I spent 25 hours at OSU, in the ER/observation, so that was….fun. Best not discussed.

  3. So I’m taking two types of insulin right now—a rapid acting one before I eat, and an “intermediate” acting one. These have both made my body much happier! There is sleep! There is energy! My cells rejoice in insulin!

  4. But……sigh. OK, doctors’ offices. You must have a system for the hearing impaired to contact you. MyChart doesn’t always work. You must have ways of contact that a patient can do independently! I couldn’t directly contact my doctor’s office last Friday and that led to a really crappy weekend! Today, I can’t select my doctor on MyChart, so I had to contact my FABULOUS transplant coordinator, who will send them numbers that I emailed her! Guys, you can’t think that your lovely “secure system” is going to be the best way for people to get care if they’re hearing impaired! I RAGE ABOUT THIS.

  5. STATE OF THE BOOK WICKET is here!

  6. Maybe this is the time to show everyone the handy chart about emergency room vs urgent care usage…..

  7. OK, that’s it for this week, go read the link at point 5! YAY BOOK! Two weeks to PUB DAY!!!!!!

On the Ninth Day of Christmas, MY BOOK ARRIVED

7 Quick Takes, the bookEmily DeArdo4 Comments
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There she is, guys.

She really exists.

It’s so hard to explain what goes into a book. Years of work, in my case. I started writing my story when I was in college. Sending out queries and proposals and getting nothing back, or form rejection letters. Freaking out over sample chapters.

And now it’s here.

It’s been written. It’s been published. It’s beautiful.

It’s just like when Jo March opened her package at the end of Little Women and whispers, “My book!”

It’s really real.

So yeah, today was pretty exciting….

And then I took the book to Chuy’s for lunch with my best friend Tiffany.

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And showed her to Jesus….


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Over the next month—the official pub date is January 24—I will be talking about the book in IG videos and Facebook lives, as well as sharing endorsements and telling you what is exactly in the book, because it’s not just my story. There are tools for you to use!

If you haven’t pre-ordered, please do so, because if I want to write another book (and I do), then this one has to sell like hot cakes. :)

I was going to write about Christmas for quick takes this week, but this just takes the cake over everything else.

I’m just so excited!!!



Christmas is Practically Here Seven Quick Takes

7 Quick Takes, holidays, movies, knittingEmily DeArdo2 Comments

Linking up with Kelly!


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So gonna start off with—I saw Star Wars last night. No, not at midnight. At a special 5:00 “fan screening”—I did get a cool opening night pin (sorry, bad photo in dark theater!):

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So that was pretty cool. And there were heated seats in the theater—talk about decadence. I’d actually been wanting to try this out, and it was like a nice heating pad feel in your lower back, so I have to say, enjoyable. And you could turn it on and off! Yes, I am easily amused.

Anyway, no spoilers here, but I think it’s the best Star Wars movie since Empire. The critics who are giving it crap? What are they watching? No idea. But it’s good.

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I am going to start Christmas baking this weekend, because I only have to make two things—Ina’s Hermit Bars, and her crumble bars—for the family to nosh on over Christmas Day. I’ve made the hermit bars every Christmas for a few years now, they’re easy and delightfully good. I don’t do the glaze thing. To me, it’s an easy way to cut down on sugar intake by removing it and thus we can have more sugar later. Right? :)

For the crumble bars, I leave out the almonds, and you can use any type of jam you like. I’m using blueberry this time.

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I’ve started a baby blanket for a friend’s baby….

Bad apartment carpet, forgive me. :)

Bad apartment carpet, forgive me. :)


The yarn is Knitpicks Shine Sport, which I really like (L-R: Robot, Clarity, Sky, and French Blue). It’s so smooth in my hands, but it’s not sliding all over the place (One reason I love using wooden needles. When I tried metal ones, disaster.). It’s 60% cotton and 40% beechwood fiber, whatever that is, but I figured this would be good for a baby. And it’s washable!

The pattern is….another story.

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I’m making the Quince Sully blanket pattern. Pretty, right? I looked at the “skills needed” section and thought, OK, I have all those skills. I can pick up stitches and change colors and knit and purl and totally long tail cast on (that’s the only one I do…..)….

Bought the pattern.

then read the pattern.

The pattern calls for binding off the main color sequence (stripes), and then picking up the border and increasing stitches and god knows what else, and the number 600 something popped up, and I just went oh….


Whhyyyyy pattern writer? WHYYYYYY?????

Anyway, besides that bit of crazy, it’s really easy to do, with a nice seed stitch row with every color change. I really like doing it. I’m just scared of the border. It might not happen.

I do not think the baby will mind if there is no border, right? Because, um, my skills may not be up to it.

Sigh….
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It’s that time….if you haven’t pre-ordered the book, please do so! If you have, MUCHAS GRACIAS!

Next week….well, OK, in January, there are fun graphics coming!!! I’m excited about them!
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Two more gifts to wrap. Well, three. Two of them go in gift bags, and one requires actually wrapping, at which I AM TERRIBLE. Oh well!

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Are y’all done shopping? Sort of done? Haven’t even started? :)










Seven Quick Takes --Second Friday of Advent

7 Quick Takes, goal setting, yarn alongEmily DeArdo2 Comments
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Around these parts this week:

Yarn Along #93

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Soooo this week. It was pretty quiet, which was nice. I got my hair cut on Wednesday. The reason this is notable is because I am terrible at doing hair cuts. I gone like once a year, and I really should go more often. Resolution for 2020—have better hair? (As in, don’t let split ends go one for months and months without end….)

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speaking of resolutions—do you set them? I generally don’t. I use Lara Casey’s powersheets to set goals for the year, and that’s incredibly effective for me. I’m in the middle of doing the prep work for the 2020 sheets. If you haven’t used powersheets before, or have trouble setting and achieving your goals, I highly recommend these. I doubt my book would’ve been published without the work I did with the powersheets. That’s how important they’ve been to me over the last five years.

Her blog is also full of great tips and she walks through doing the prep work with you! So it’s really lovely and I highly highly recommend this way of goal setting.

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Let’s talk about Advent? In my house, I have my tree, nativity, and Advent wreath up. Baby Jesus isn’t in the manager yet, and the Wise Men are making their way to the manager (they’re currently living on the living room bookcase). I keep my tree up until Candlemas (Feb. 2), pretty much. If not the tree, then the nativity for sure. I love Christmas, the whole Christmas season, and so I will celebrate it to the hilt.

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How are you doing on shopping? Are you done? I am, yay! (And yes, from every take until the book is published, there will be a link to buy the book—it makes a great gift, go get it….)

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In terms of Christmas movies, I watched The Nutcracker and the Four Realms last night, and it was pretty good. I think kids would like it. It got really iffy reviews, which I don’t really understand. It’s a fine movie. (Fine as in, perfectly acceptable and you don’t feel like you’ve wasted two hours of your life when it’s over.) If you have never seen Muppet Christmas Carol, you must. (It’s on Disney+!). That’s all I’m gonna say about that. You have to watch it.

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It’s almost Gaudete Sunday! Yayyyy! I love lighting that pink candle.

How was your week? What are you up to this weekend?

Seven Quick Takes--The Medical Saga Endeth (we think)

7 Quick Takes, CF, health, hearing loss, the bookEmily DeArdo1 Comment
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!


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So, here’s a spicy take I wrote this week about Medicare!


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And here’s the follow up:

So, we got the great folks at the CFF involved (they have a team that just looks at insurance stuff). They came to the same conclusion we did: that there really is no plan that covers everything, but that hospitals and doctors and I will make it work. (think Cinderella’s sisters: “I’ll make it fit!”) NCH doesn’t normally have a lot of Medicare people (because, it’s a, um, Children’s hospital), but….”they’ll take it”, says the finance office. (Thank you finance office!)

What I kept hearing from everyone was “well, we haven’t had to deal with this before.” Yes, I am the one that is trail blazing for everyone else. Future generations, YOU ARE WELCOME! I expect copious floral arrangements on my grave and Masses offered after I die. :-p

So, my hospitals are (sort of) covered. My main doctors—as in, the Big Three—are covered. The next issue?

The Prograf (or, THE GRAF).


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The prograf is the med that basically keeps me alive. It keeps my lungs from realizing that they aren’t actually, um, the factory setting. :-D

Now, when I was emailing my nurse about this, she said, “Well, we can always try generic.”

“What do you mean?” quoth I. “Generic doesn’t work for me!”

“Well, the formulation is a lot better now, and the hospital is even considering switching its formulary to the generic,” nurse said.

AH! Well, that would solve problems!

Or….would it????

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So I go to the insurance site. I plug in generic prograf, expecting to see massive cost savings and ease of access!

Hahahaha.

NO.

Generic Prograf is covered—but as a tier 4 med, meaning it’s like, non-preferred, no one wants to use it, and then I see, oh, step therapy may be applied.

Step therapy, for you new people, is when you have to try other drugs first before the company will pay for the med you want.

Yeah, we’re not doing that with the drug that keeps me alive.

So, what we’re going to do is go through prior authoritzation stuff, and we won’t have to pay out the nose, because I qualify for the Medicare Extra Help program (which is a great thing, so kudos there), so we can’t pay more than a certain very low amount.

So.

I have picked a plan. The saga is over. (For this year!)


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In other news, my tree is up, and Susan the Corgi is ready to celebrate….

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And I think I’m doing buying gifts. That’s exciting. :)

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I had my first book interview on Wednesday with the delightful Fr. Patrick, O.P. We talked for forty-five minutes about all sorts of good stuff! The interview probably won’t be up until January, but when it is, I’ll let you know! I’ll be posting all media related to the book on the book’s page. . (And pre-order links, to a variety of retaliers, are there are well! Amazon US, Canada, and UK; Barnes and Noble; Indiebound….)

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Just a note about what Kelly wrote about today—how we tell the stories of the disabled.

One of the things I’ve noticed, especially as the practice euthanasia almost on demand rises, is that people don’t really understand life with a disability, or an illness. They think they do. They imagine the horrors of it.

But honestly, that isn’t the way it works.

When I lost my hearing, it was very gradual, over a period of years. It was gradual. Now, if I’d lost it all at once, yes, that would’ve been traumatic, and highly so.

Did I grieve losing my hearing? Um, yes. A lot.

But when it came to CF stuff, it was gradual. I still enjoyed my life, and I do enjoy my life, even with insanely stressful weeks like this week.

Being disabled makes things harder, but it doesn’t make my life worthless or less.



Why Medicare for All Is a Terrible Idea

health, politicsEmily DeArdo3 Comments
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OK, I know, some of you don’t like political posts.

And this is political, in the sense that, all the candidates who are pushing “Medicare for All” are not candidates that should be voted for, amen.

But, really, this is a look at how Medicare “works”—as someone who is currently going through the incredibly difficult work of selecting a plan.

Here’s why it’s hard:

  1. I take a medication that must be the brand medication. I cannot take the generic because we can’t get what’s called a “therapeutic level” with it. The drug in question? Prograf. The drug that basically keeps me alive. So, I have to take brand name Prograf, which is expensive.

  2. I see all the normal doctors people see—dentist, eye doctor, etc. But I also see special specialists. Meaning, doctors that are not normal run of the mill doctors.

  3. I also see these doctors in two separate hospital systems—The Resort, and OSU (Ohio State).

So, we must find a plan that covers my meds, my doctors, and my hospitals.

Under private insurance, this was not hard at all. I just typed in names and meds, saw they were covered, signed up. Done. It took less than a half hour.

Private insurance did not like to pay for prograf, but it did. And if it didn’t, then the manufacturer had a Prograf saver card I could use to reduce the out of pocket costs.

Now, I have Medicare.

And here are all the problems.

  1. There are plans that refuse to cover prograf. It’s not even in their formulary. It just says, “not covered.” Even though this med is basically what keeps me alive. There are many, many plans who do not cover it in any way, shape, or form.

  2. There are plans that cover the med, but not my doctors. As in, one entire group of plans refuses to cover any OSU doctors. OHIO STATE! One of the top-ranked systems in the country!

These are, to put it mildly, big problems.

My dad and I have spent at least three days—as in, hours upon hours!—on the phone with people, looking at plans on line, until our eyes have crossed and our brains have melted.

Because a plan will cover some of these things—but then we’ll see, oh, there’s no out of pocket max. Well, that’s gonna get expensive, quickly.

They’ll cover my endocrinologist, but not my transplant doctor!

They’ll cover doctors, but not meds!

Or meds, but not doctors or hospitals!

Do we see the problem here?

Oh, and to make it even better, Medicaid will cover Prograf. But Medicare plans don’t!

And the copay card? Doesn’t work for Medicare patients. Only private insurance patients—when Prograf was covered by my private insurance!

This is insanity.

They’ll cover things like acupuncture and chiropractic, but not the med that keeps me alive. Not top doctors at top medical facilities. Nah. That’s too hard.

Also, it’s insanely complicated to compare plans. They don’t always list what doctors are covered, or what meds are covered. They don’t mention facilities. They put in stuff like Silver Sneakers—well, goodie, a free gym pass!—but not stuff that is actually life saving and vital!

How about we not cover gym costs, and instead, cover medications that keep people alive?

Oh, and. This is the good part.

Here’s an NYT story on this issue. Medicare will cover transplant meds if the transplant occurred while the person was on Medicare. NOT BEFORE.

This is the biggest piece of insanity I have ever seen. These are drugs that we know work. They are not new therapies, they’re not snake oil. They are proven. And yet, no, I’m sorry, we won’t cover that.

We have presidential candidates saying that this insanely complicated, twisted, insane system should be the one health care provider for the entire nation?

No.

Or, to be spicy, HELL NO.

Seven Quick Takes--My Book's First Picture, Gallbladder test, and more!

7 Quick Takes, writing, the book, Take Up and ReadEmily DeArdo4 Comments
seven quick takes.jpg

linking up with Kelly!

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Look at my beautiful baby’s first picture! Thank you Ave Maria Design Department!

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Isn’t she pretty?!

So yeah, I love this a lot. They also made me new graphics for Facebook and Twitter so if you follow me there, you’ll see those lovelies!

THANK YOU to everyone who has pre-ordered! If you want to, go here. (It makes a good Christmas present!!!! It’ll just come later, which extends Christmas joy!)




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So on Monday I had a HIDA scan at OSU East hospital. The test wasn’t terrible. Well, at the time. But it did require an IV—to stay in for a few hours.

Well, that was a lovely piece of information….

It’s also a two part test, which I didn’t know.

So, the first part is: Put in IV (poor guy who had to do it…I was laying on the gurney [which was supremely comfortable! Really!] thinking, if we don’t get access, we can’t do this test….) We got access. It wasn’t very comfortable. I have bruises all over my arms right now, so my veins need a break for like, two weeks, minimum.

Anyway!

So we got the IV in. The contrast was pushed in. Then I went out to waiting room for an hour while the contrast worked. OK .

Came back into the room, took the pictures, took about four minutes. Great.

Then we went to part two: AKA, nap time. (I had woken up at 6 AM for this test. I was ready for a nap.)

This part is the “stress test”. They take was is basically the fat content of an Ensure drink and drip it very very slowly —as in it takes an hour—through the IV. This stresses the gallbladder. Then pictures are taken to see how it is moving through.

So I took a nap, then woke up an hour later when the IV beeped. A nurse came, rolled me back to the scan room, took the photos, took out the IV, and I was free.

I was insanely thirsty because I couldn’t drink anything, so I got some Sprite Zeros from the cafeteria, and Dad and I went to lunch. (He had to drive me, per their rules.)

Fortunately I had some phenergan left over from my previous hospital adventures….

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because over the next few days, my stomach was not happy with the stuff that had been forced into me. So I felt nauseated, tired, and just weird for two days. Sigh. But I feel better now, so I hope that I don’t need to darken a medical doorway for the next few months!




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With the newfound energy, I have written out all my Christmas cards and begun mailing Christmas gifts. I want to mail them early. I also live right down the street from the post office so it makes mailing things and getting more stamps insanely convenient.




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I take Christmas so seriously that I have a gift and card spreadsheet.

Yup. I’m weird.




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If you missed it: my post on how girls need a plan!

And: The Real Lucy Pevensie (whose feast day was last week!)

It’s also St. Cecilia’s Day, so here’s some music! And the poem by Dryden!

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Still looking for an Advent journal? You can get Take Up & Read’s!!!! And it’s on sale RIGHT NOW! (as of this writing, Thursday night. I hope it still is when this goes live!)

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Seven Quick Takes--Winter Came, and an Advent Devotional!

7 Quick Takes, Take Up and ReadEmily DeArdoComment
seven quick takes.jpg

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Yes, winter showed up in Ohio—it was in the twenties and teens on Tuesday this week, and Orchard House got its first snow. Since I didn’t have to go out in it, I didn’t mind it, and the snow looked beautiful with the Hawthorn tree outside my window—the red berries make a lovely contrast. So I enjoyed it.

And it’s also November. Snow in mid-November is fine in Ohio. When we get it in October, I get a little grumpy. But I’m OK with snow until about the first week of January and then it can go away. :-p (I really only like snow around the holidays.)


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Advent is coming, and I want to show you the newest Take Up & Read Devotional—O Radiant Dawn, for Advent and Christmas….


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We’re doing a special focus on the O Antiphons, and the book goes from Advent through New Year’s Day. It’s exquisitely gorgeous—our designer, Kristin Foss, has done wonderful things with this book. All of our books have great production values because of her, but this one really takes the cake.

O Antiphons, drawn by Kristin Foss.

O Antiphons, drawn by Kristin Foss.




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Look at the lectio pages

Look at the lectio pages


We work really hard to make these beautiful and useful devotionals for you, and I hope you enjoy them. If you are a long-time fan and customer, thank you! If you’re new….come check us out!

You can get your copy here.

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Being home from the Resort means that my sleeping schedule is still weird…..I’m staying up too late and sleeping in, so I’m all over the place. And the house is still sort of a mess, although I’m working on getting it back to baseline. Basically, being in the hospital demonstrates how true the concept of entropy is—that everything is working toward chaos all the time, ALL THE TIME!!!!!!

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What are you doing for Thanksgiving? We stay pretty low key; Christmas is our big family holiday. So it’ll just be my parents and I. My brother spends it with his wife’s family, and my sister and her husband are staying out in Colorado.

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On Monday I’m going to one of OSU’s branch hospitals to have a HIDA scan done. Basically it’s a test that stresses my gallbladder and sees how it does, and also we can get a scan of what my gallbladder looks like. If there are issues, it’s coming out. If there are sort of issues, I think it’s staying in until it acts up again, and then it might come out? And if it looks fine, we’ll just watch it. Three options. By the end of the day Monday we’ll know which door we’re going through. I’m sort of on team take it out, but…not my call!

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Obviously, massive thanks to everyone who has pre ordered the book! If you haven’t, you can do so here. Pre-orders are so helpful, both in building buzz and in letting the publisher know how many copies to make for the first printing!


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I have Disney+, and I like it an awful lot. Having a the Disney movies at my fingertips? WINNER. And I’m also loving rewatching Boy Meets World, except that I had forgotten that the class in the show was my age—it debuted in the fall of 1993, when I was in sixth grade, so that’s how old the characters are. This was brought home in an episode where Mr. Feeny had them imagine their futures and threw a mock 20th class reunion….that took place in 2020.

As in, next year.

































Seven Quick Takes--Home

7 Quick Takes, the bookEmily DeArdoComment
seven quick takes.jpg

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So I’m home! Yay!

I got home Wednesday afternoon and I’ve spent a lot of time sleeping and just sort of reading and resting—what fun, right? At 37 you find that you don’t recover from hospital stays quite as quickly as you did when you were twenty-seven, but, that’s OK. It’s not like I have any pressing appointments!


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If you missed the big news, BOOK PRE-ORDERS ARE OPEN!!!!!!!!

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So, book pre-orders made my hospital stay pretty darn exciting, I have to say. It at least gave me something to do besides watch endless HGTV!

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If you have Netflix, watch The King. It’s actually really good—roughly based on Shakespeare’s Henry V (and some of Henry IV 1 and 2), as well as regular old history, it makes for good watching. Great cast. (Robert Pattinson is an especially delightful over-the-top Dauphin.) Of course liberties are taken with history, because….that’s how we roll, apparently. :) Our stories need closure, dang it! (And fun characters—Falstaff, as Falstaff, didn’t exist, but Shakespeare knew how to write a good character.)

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So I’m not going to make it to seven today, but I did want to pop in, say hi, plug the pre-orders, and assure y’all that I’m still alive. :) Have a great weekend!

Greetings From the Resort

essays, healthEmily DeArdo3 Comments
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Yes, I’m back in the Resort.

For new readers, I started calling Children’s Hospital “The Resort” once I started working, because all my vacation days ended up being spent here, and the name stuck.

On Thursday I started having a lot of abdominal pain. After I talked to the nurses at clinic, they mentioned that I had gall stones on my last CT scan that I had when I had the Awful, Nasty Stomach Bug. So back I went to the local ER (It’s run by a local hospital, so it’s a good one, not like some tiny little thing), where they ran tests and determined that I had….pancreatitis.

My old friend!

I haven’t had a bout of this in years, but once that diagnosis came in, I knew what I was in for. So Mom and I went back to my place, I packed a bag, and dad drove me to Children’s, where I am currently writing this.

The treatment for pancreatitis is: IV fluids, anti-nausea meds, and pain meds. That’s in. Blood is drawn daily to see how the lipase (a pancreatic enzyme) is doing—with pancreatitis this number is high. We want it to be around 50 or so, and today mine was 480 sometimes, which is still better than the 1600 it was when I was first admitted!

Giselle the Unicorn.

Giselle the Unicorn.

So, all in all, not too bad, except for being in a hospital, but even that’s not bad, because I don’t really get bothered. There’s no fancy treatment for this, just meds through an IV line. At some point I’ll try eating “clears” (broth, jello, etc.) and if that stays down then we’ll try more substantial foods.

So, that’s where I am right now. But big news coming later this week! (If you already subscribe to the blog, you know what the news is….)


Endocrinology (Or: Not Personal Failure!)

essays, healthEmily DeArdo1 Comment
Stacks of Wheat (End of Summer).jpeg


So the past two weeks have been sort of nuts, and hence why I haven’t written. So I’ll bring you up to speed and explain the title.


After my last post, I got a killer stomach bug, and I ended up in the ER. When you’re me—meaning, you take a lot of meds, you have blood sugar level issues, and you need to be able to keep things down—you don’t really “wait out” a stomach bug. (In fact, I learned today I get to give myself four hours before going to an ER for treatment.)

So after a day of nausea and 12 hours of vomiting (WHAT JOY) and abdominal pain, I took myself to the local free-standing ER, which is excellent. My mom met me there, Dad drove my car home, and four hours later I’d had IV fluids, anti-emetics (anti-vomiting meds), and pain meds, I felt a lot better, everything calmed down, and I got to go home. I spend Tuesday sort of out of it. Wednesday had a ton of energy and did laundry and some taking out of trash. Thursday, pretty back to normal—but I needed to take my car to the service place to get a tire patched. Friday, normalcy! Saturday, Harry Potter tea with my writers ‘ group (post on that coming), and I went to Mass for the first time in two weeks. Hallelujah!



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So, that was last week. This week, the tire repair didn’t hold, so I had to call AAA to put the spare on on Monday, get the tire checked out Tuesday, to find out I need a new tire, which will be on my car tomorrow, which meant that I had to borrow my mom’s car to get to my endocrinology appointment today.

Honestly, I was really freaked about this appointment. I had visions of insulin shots multiple times a day and constant finger sticks and food restrictions and all sorts of evil things conjured by the word “diabetes.” I really, really, really didn’t want a heavy-duty diagnosis. I was freaked out.

I had a long appointment today (2 hours), where I met with great, wonderful, smart people, who went over my history and all my labs with a fine-tooth comb. They looked at everything. They asked about family history. The fact that my mom has five sisters, and that my grandma is almost 90 and in pretty darn good health, is great for my doctors because there’s a lot of female family history to look at when we’re talking about health indicators.

My endocrinologist thinks that what I have is a type of CF related diabetes (CFRD), which is not Type 1 diabetes, even though insulin is involved, and it’s not type 2 diabetes. It’s its own special thing. But what this did for me was release a big burden I’d been carrying around—the idea that I had done this to myself. That if I had done more or tried harder or whatever, that I wouldn’t have been in that office.

That’s not the case. Dr. W (the new doc) said that just about every CF person will get CFRD at some point, because we’re living longer. The severity will vary, but it’s probably going to happen. Throw in the fact that I’m on three drugs that mess around with blood sugar production and regulation, and, yeah. This was, most likely, going to happen.

We don’t exactly have a plan yet, because we need data, which will be provided by two things:

Me checking my blood glucose level at various times a day

Me wearing a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) for a week. This little do-dad checks your blood sugar every five minutes with a little sensor. So we’ll get tons of data, cascades of data! And with that data, we can make a plan.

The other great thing as that this doctor asked me if I was OK with this plan. That’s so important to me. I want to be OK with what we’re doing. And with this doctor, I do. I feel secure and I trust her to do the right thing to get things under control.

So even though I’m going to be doing a lot of finger sticks over the next few days/weeks, I don’t really mind. Because I don’t feel like a total failure, like I brought this upon myself. I didn’t. This is the result of being 37 with CF and a double-lung transplant. It’s the way it goes.

We get the data, we make a plan, and we move on.



Seven Quick Takes--Etc.

7 Quick TakesEmily DeArdo2 Comments
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly


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I had a clinic appointment on Monday, which was OK. I mean, the lungs are fine, the immunosuppression levels are fine….I’m just not super looking forward to the endocrinologist visit on the thirtieth. The doctor gets great reviews from clinic—everyone seems to like her and she seems really competent (more than competent!), but I just don’t want to see another doctor. But, I will. So that’s coming up, but at least I’m more than halfway through the list of doctor appointments crammed into this month!

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One of the things that’s hard for me, as a person with a chronic illness, is that I don’t get to do a lot of things on my own terms. If you read any sort of weight loss/ health book, one of the first things the writer will say is “Do it for you, do what you like, throw out your scale”—with the idea being that making health changes shouldn’t be dependent on the feedback you get, like, weight loss, or what someone else wants for you, because that won’t make the changes stick. You have to do it for you.

I never get to “do it for me.”

I’d be fine with a few walks around the neighborhood, a few yoga flows, some ballet beautiful here and there. I know that my body does like to move, it needs to move in certain ways (thank you, knee messed up from meds that requires lots of love!). I know that. And I’m fine with that.

But the problem is, that’s not enough for all the people I see. They want results. They want a program, 30/40 minutes every day, with results. They want weight loss (we won’t talk about how the Terrible Insulin Experiment led to weight gain…..). They want results.

So I don’t get to do it for me. I do it for them.

Sometimes I think about Amber—we talked about this a lot. She told me once that she exercised to punish her body—to bend it to her will, to make it to what she wanted. And I never wanted to do that. I don’t want to punish my body. Lord knows it’s been punished enough, poor thing. I want it to behave, but I don’t want to subdue it to my will and punish it.

A lot of the time, I feel like I’m trying—and failing spectacularly—to do what everyone wants me to do. But what I want never really figures into it. What I am comfortable with, the results I want to see—they’re not enough. So, yeah, it’s extremely frustrating. I’m not really sure how to deal with that frustration right now, to be honest with you.

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So, this month of doctors (and all the appointments have been pretty good—things are stable, or are clearing up [sinuses, yay!]) has led me to be crankier/sadder than usual. I don’t really like it, but there it is. And I do try to be honest with you, blog readers. :) I will never, ever not love being alive. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t times when I’d like to call a time out and just try to live like other people do for, you know, a month. Six months.

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Anddd OK, got that out. :)

I should have the finalized book cover—and news for you about the awesome person who wrote the preface—very very very soon. I actually thought it would be this week, but who knows (it could happen later today!)

Anyway, if you want all the exciting news first, sign up for the newsletter. Please and thank you.

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You might not notice but there are some changes round the blog! I have an events page set up, which hopefully will have some items on it in the future, such as book signings and appearances and stuff like that! I also have a blog email: hello@emilymdeardo.com. If you have questions, want signed books (eventually), press, etc…..all of that stuff goes to this email address!

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If you’ve never seen Script Ohio, please change that and watch it:

Even if you do not like football, Script Ohio is superb. and deserves lots of love!

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Fall is in earnest here, which makes me happy. The hawthorn tree outside Orchard House is heavy with berries, the leaves are changing colors, and I saw this little guy on my walk yesterday:







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Have a great weekend!

Seven Quick Takes--"Shut up!" She Said

7 Quick TakesEmily DeArdoComment
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This week on the blog…..retreat!

Part One

Part Two

Part Three


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That also explains the title……guys, really, we need to shut up. We need to have silence with God so we can hear Him! We gotta stop filling our lives with noise!

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From Catholic Mom: Is A Silent Retreat Impossible?

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I wrote a post a long time ago on an old blog—I have no idea where the original post is—but the gist of it was that people are terrified of silence these days. This was before everyone had earbuds in all the time, but it was when it was getting really popular.

It seems like people can’t walk down the street these days without earbuds in. They can’t be in their houses without the TV on or something streaming from somewhere. There is no silence. There must be noise, all the time. And this isn’t good. (First off, hearing loss much?)

Now, I say this as a person who wrote a lot of her college papers with background noise on. I still do like music or a movie in the background if I’m doing something like knitting, or even, occasionally, writing things. (Not the book. That was written in mostly silence!) What I’m talking about is noise all the time. Everywhere. Constantly.

We have to bring back silence. I didn’t really realize this until I started to lose my hearing, but man, silence really is golden.

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And if you think about this from a perspective of God—we’re supposed to love God. Imagine your closest relationship, say, your spouse. If all you did was drown out your spouse, if you talked over him all the time and never let him talk, if you never listened to him—ever—then how would that relationship go?

Probably not well.

It’s the same with God. We have to have dialogue. We have to listen and talk. And a lot of the time, we’re not listening. We’re not even giving him an opening. We’re just…..blasting him out.

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And we can even see this in our worship—is there time for silence at Mass? We don’t have to have a post-communion hymn, y’know. We could just…have….silence. So people can pray! So they can listen to God!

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Yeah, I’m on my soapbox about silence this week. :) But I think it’s an important thing to talk about. Not just in retreats, although I suggest you go on one. Not just in silent adoration, although I recommend that, too! We need silence in our lives in general. Focus on what’s happening. Try not to be distracted by the phone!

So I guess you could call this retreat series part four. :) Next week I’ll write something non-retreat related….I hope to have a big announcement for the book by this time next week! Fingers crossed!!!!!





Seven Quick Takes--St. Francis, Forgiveness, and Fear

7 Quick Takes, behind the scenes, current projects, the bookEmily DeArdo5 Comments
linking up with Kelly!

linking up with Kelly!

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Why yes, I am alliterating my titles.

To start with St. Francis—it’s his feast day! Dominicans celebrate the feast days of Franciscans (and vice versa!), because we just love each other that much. :) Well, we do, but here’s the story.

St. Francis and St. Dominic, Fra Angelico

St. Francis and St. Dominic, Fra Angelico

So, happy Feast Day, Franciscans! We celebrate with you!

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Might be a good time to remind everyone that St. Francis didn’t really give us the “Prayer of St. Francis” (it was written in the 60s) and that he did more than just like animals. St. Francis was a pretty bad-ass saint. The Word on Fire documentary about him in The Pivotal Players is eye-opening, if you’ve only ever thought of him that way. This piece is a good overview.

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OK, Forgiveness.

This is just a reflection—a thought—on something I’ve been pondering this week.

I’m 37. That means in three years, I’ll be 40 (God willing and the creek don’t rise). That’s a good chunk of time living on planet earth. That’s two score of years!

But one thing I have noticed in those almost 40 years is how vital forgiveness is, how terrible it is for a person who doesn’t forgive past things to be weighed down by that anger and resentment and pain.

Holding on to that anger does nothing to the person who wronged you. It hurts you.

Some things aren’t possible to forgive easily. That’s true. They require work and prayer and maybe sessions with therapists or other professionals.

But after seeing a teenager forgive the woman who murdered his brother—he hugged her, for pete’s sake!—it just brought home to me how vital this call of Christ is.

We’re called to forgive the way we want to be forgiven.

I honestly don’t know how this young man did this. Christ works strongly in his life, is all I can say. If someone killed my brother, I’d be….full of rage. I’d be absolutely incapable of this kind of grace, at least at this point.

This teenager puts me to shame.

And in a way, this ties into St. Francis and his story about perfect joy (I excerpted this from a longer piece that you can read here.)

“One day, on the road home, Francis was walking with Br. Leo. Francis said to Br. Leo; ‘If the Order of Friars became world famous for doing good works, and spreading the Gospel, this would not be perfect joy. Br. Leo asked, ‘Father Francis, what then would be perfect joy?’ Francis responded, ‘If all the most famous and powerful people in the land entered the Order of Friars, and worked with us proclaiming the Gospel, healing the sick, caring for the poor, and converting many souls to Christ, this would not be perfect joy!’ Br. Leo then says, ‘Please Father Francis, tell me what is perfect joy!’ Francis said; ‘Brother Leo, if we come to our friary, after this long journey, tired, wet, cold, and hungry, longing for a meal, and a warm dry place to sleep, and we knock on the door, and hear from within our brothers who ask, ‘Who are You?’ We respond that we are your brothers coming home from a long journey, and we wish for you to let us in. But instead of the welcome we long for, we hear a response from inside, go away; we do not know who you are. We are expecting no one, you must be liars and thieves, intending to harm us! If, Brother Leo, after that, we can still have peace in our heart, that is Perfect Joy!’”

Man. I have such a long way to go to achieve perfect joy.

But back to forgiveness—run of the mill forgiveness—in the words of Into the Woods, “People make mistakes!” And they do. We’re hurt in all sorts of little ways that the other person might not even notice. But we have a choice. We can either hold on to that hurt and let it poison us (because it doesn’t poison the other person), or we can forgive and stop poisoning ourselves.

This isn’t new ground. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about this week.

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And that leads us to fear! (And then we’ll do some fun things, I promise, so this isn’t all heavy.)

Satan loves fear. He loves to play on our sense of inadequacy and comparison and uncertainty. He love, love, loves it.

Christ does not call us to fear. He calls us to trust and joy and hope.

So, if you’re feeling a lot of fear or doubt or inadequacy—tell Satan to get behind you and that Mary is crushing his head. :) And so is St. Michael.

(Do you say the St. Michael prayer daily? I recommend it!)

-V-

On the blog this week:

Yarn Along

St. Therese!

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BOOK STUFF!

The cover is 99% done. I love it and can’t wait to show it to you.

I’ve read the forward for the book and I love it. Can’t wait to tell you who’s writing it.

Basically it’s a lot of I love what’s happening but I can’t tell you yet! :)

(If you want to be the first to know, sign up for the newsletter…..)

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So glad to be going on retreat. If you have prayer requests, hit me up!