Emily M. DeArdo

author

SQT--A reaaaaaallly interesting week!

7 Quick Takes, health, hearing loss, the bookEmily DeArdo3 Comments
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!

And it’s gonna be fast quick takes today!

  1. OK, so my body does weird things before big events. Jeopardy taping? Pneumonia. I guess for the book release month, my blood sugars will go nuts! But it’s OK, we’ve got them under control now.

  2. But to get them under control, Dad and I spent 25 hours at OSU, in the ER/observation, so that was….fun. Best not discussed.

  3. So I’m taking two types of insulin right now—a rapid acting one before I eat, and an “intermediate” acting one. These have both made my body much happier! There is sleep! There is energy! My cells rejoice in insulin!

  4. But……sigh. OK, doctors’ offices. You must have a system for the hearing impaired to contact you. MyChart doesn’t always work. You must have ways of contact that a patient can do independently! I couldn’t directly contact my doctor’s office last Friday and that led to a really crappy weekend! Today, I can’t select my doctor on MyChart, so I had to contact my FABULOUS transplant coordinator, who will send them numbers that I emailed her! Guys, you can’t think that your lovely “secure system” is going to be the best way for people to get care if they’re hearing impaired! I RAGE ABOUT THIS.

  5. STATE OF THE BOOK WICKET is here!

  6. Maybe this is the time to show everyone the handy chart about emergency room vs urgent care usage…..

  7. OK, that’s it for this week, go read the link at point 5! YAY BOOK! Two weeks to PUB DAY!!!!!!

The State of the Wicket

the bookEmily DeArdo1 Comment
My babies on IG! :) You can follow me there @emily_deardo.

My babies on IG! :) You can follow me there @emily_deardo.

Oh, my babies are in the house!!!!!

Really, it’s so weird. It almost doesn’t feel real. I just like to look at them.

They are coming off the presses. There are two weeks until the publication date! Aghhhh!

This post is titled “The State of the Wicket” after a Diana Gabaldon blog post of the same name, where she updated her readers on what was going on with books. So I’m doing the same thing today.

Here’s what’s going on:

  • My first event has been scheduled! I’ll be doing a book signing at the Columbus Catholic Women’s Conference. As more events are added, they’ll be on the event page here on the site.

  • I’m also lining up some interviews. When those are released, they’ll be noted here on the blog, on social media, and I’ll link them on the book page. I’m probably going to create a separate media page for interview links and such. Some interviews have been done already, and I can’t wait for them to come out!

Here are some ways you can help promote the book….

  • Add it to your Goodreads to-read list if you’re on Goodreads!

  • Ask your library to order a copy.

  • Ask your local Catholic bookstore and “regular” bookstore to stock it!

  • Once you get your copy, share a picture of it on social media, tagged #livingmementomori

  • Leave a review on Amazon once you get it and read it!

Preorder links are all here, so you can choose your bookstore of choice!

I know, I’m talking about pre-ordering all the time here, but it really is important. It helps the press know how many copies to print, and it helps build up buzz for the book, which is tres important in getting the word out so as many people as possible can get a copy!

If you want to read something I’ve already written while you’re waiting for your book, Catholic 101, my ebook, is available!

If you are subscribed to the newsletter, you get everything first. Links to interviews, first opportunities to buy signed books (once I figure out logistics), any fun things, etc.

I would love to come speak to your group!! just drop me an email and we’ll connect!

On the Ninth Day of Christmas, MY BOOK ARRIVED

7 Quick Takes, the bookEmily DeArdo4 Comments
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There she is, guys.

She really exists.

It’s so hard to explain what goes into a book. Years of work, in my case. I started writing my story when I was in college. Sending out queries and proposals and getting nothing back, or form rejection letters. Freaking out over sample chapters.

And now it’s here.

It’s been written. It’s been published. It’s beautiful.

It’s just like when Jo March opened her package at the end of Little Women and whispers, “My book!”

It’s really real.

So yeah, today was pretty exciting….

And then I took the book to Chuy’s for lunch with my best friend Tiffany.

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And showed her to Jesus….


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Over the next month—the official pub date is January 24—I will be talking about the book in IG videos and Facebook lives, as well as sharing endorsements and telling you what is exactly in the book, because it’s not just my story. There are tools for you to use!

If you haven’t pre-ordered, please do so, because if I want to write another book (and I do), then this one has to sell like hot cakes. :)

I was going to write about Christmas for quick takes this week, but this just takes the cake over everything else.

I’m just so excited!!!



The Top Ten Posts of 2019

Emily DeArdoComment
Interrupted Reading.jpeg

What did you guys like to read the best in 2019? Saints, Jane, and Stitch Fix…..

Drum roll, please…….

10) Catherine of Siena, Doctor of the Church

9) Poems for St. Cecilia’s Day

8) The About Me Page

7) “Happiness in Marriage Is Entirely A Matter of Chance: Jane Austen and Married Soulmates” (this one had 425 views, so go Janeites!)

6) Stitch Fix Box #4

5) Stitch Fix: When You’re Not Happy With Your Stylist

4) Hospital Hair Salons

3) The Forgotten Demographic: Catholic Single Women

2) St. Martha and the Dragons (this is ALWAYS in the top 10 posts. I have no idea why!)

And number one is….

the main blog page. :) So I guess it’s good that people are coming to see what’s new!

Christmas is Practically Here Seven Quick Takes

7 Quick Takes, holidays, movies, knittingEmily DeArdo2 Comments

Linking up with Kelly!


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So gonna start off with—I saw Star Wars last night. No, not at midnight. At a special 5:00 “fan screening”—I did get a cool opening night pin (sorry, bad photo in dark theater!):

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So that was pretty cool. And there were heated seats in the theater—talk about decadence. I’d actually been wanting to try this out, and it was like a nice heating pad feel in your lower back, so I have to say, enjoyable. And you could turn it on and off! Yes, I am easily amused.

Anyway, no spoilers here, but I think it’s the best Star Wars movie since Empire. The critics who are giving it crap? What are they watching? No idea. But it’s good.

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I am going to start Christmas baking this weekend, because I only have to make two things—Ina’s Hermit Bars, and her crumble bars—for the family to nosh on over Christmas Day. I’ve made the hermit bars every Christmas for a few years now, they’re easy and delightfully good. I don’t do the glaze thing. To me, it’s an easy way to cut down on sugar intake by removing it and thus we can have more sugar later. Right? :)

For the crumble bars, I leave out the almonds, and you can use any type of jam you like. I’m using blueberry this time.

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I’ve started a baby blanket for a friend’s baby….

Bad apartment carpet, forgive me. :)

Bad apartment carpet, forgive me. :)


The yarn is Knitpicks Shine Sport, which I really like (L-R: Robot, Clarity, Sky, and French Blue). It’s so smooth in my hands, but it’s not sliding all over the place (One reason I love using wooden needles. When I tried metal ones, disaster.). It’s 60% cotton and 40% beechwood fiber, whatever that is, but I figured this would be good for a baby. And it’s washable!

The pattern is….another story.

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I’m making the Quince Sully blanket pattern. Pretty, right? I looked at the “skills needed” section and thought, OK, I have all those skills. I can pick up stitches and change colors and knit and purl and totally long tail cast on (that’s the only one I do…..)….

Bought the pattern.

then read the pattern.

The pattern calls for binding off the main color sequence (stripes), and then picking up the border and increasing stitches and god knows what else, and the number 600 something popped up, and I just went oh….


Whhyyyyy pattern writer? WHYYYYYY?????

Anyway, besides that bit of crazy, it’s really easy to do, with a nice seed stitch row with every color change. I really like doing it. I’m just scared of the border. It might not happen.

I do not think the baby will mind if there is no border, right? Because, um, my skills may not be up to it.

Sigh….
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It’s that time….if you haven’t pre-ordered the book, please do so! If you have, MUCHAS GRACIAS!

Next week….well, OK, in January, there are fun graphics coming!!! I’m excited about them!
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Two more gifts to wrap. Well, three. Two of them go in gift bags, and one requires actually wrapping, at which I AM TERRIBLE. Oh well!

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Are y’all done shopping? Sort of done? Haven’t even started? :)










Seven Quick Takes --Second Friday of Advent

7 Quick Takes, goal setting, yarn alongEmily DeArdo2 Comments
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Around these parts this week:

Yarn Along #93

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Soooo this week. It was pretty quiet, which was nice. I got my hair cut on Wednesday. The reason this is notable is because I am terrible at doing hair cuts. I gone like once a year, and I really should go more often. Resolution for 2020—have better hair? (As in, don’t let split ends go one for months and months without end….)

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speaking of resolutions—do you set them? I generally don’t. I use Lara Casey’s powersheets to set goals for the year, and that’s incredibly effective for me. I’m in the middle of doing the prep work for the 2020 sheets. If you haven’t used powersheets before, or have trouble setting and achieving your goals, I highly recommend these. I doubt my book would’ve been published without the work I did with the powersheets. That’s how important they’ve been to me over the last five years.

Her blog is also full of great tips and she walks through doing the prep work with you! So it’s really lovely and I highly highly recommend this way of goal setting.

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Let’s talk about Advent? In my house, I have my tree, nativity, and Advent wreath up. Baby Jesus isn’t in the manager yet, and the Wise Men are making their way to the manager (they’re currently living on the living room bookcase). I keep my tree up until Candlemas (Feb. 2), pretty much. If not the tree, then the nativity for sure. I love Christmas, the whole Christmas season, and so I will celebrate it to the hilt.

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How are you doing on shopping? Are you done? I am, yay! (And yes, from every take until the book is published, there will be a link to buy the book—it makes a great gift, go get it….)

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In terms of Christmas movies, I watched The Nutcracker and the Four Realms last night, and it was pretty good. I think kids would like it. It got really iffy reviews, which I don’t really understand. It’s a fine movie. (Fine as in, perfectly acceptable and you don’t feel like you’ve wasted two hours of your life when it’s over.) If you have never seen Muppet Christmas Carol, you must. (It’s on Disney+!). That’s all I’m gonna say about that. You have to watch it.

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It’s almost Gaudete Sunday! Yayyyy! I love lighting that pink candle.

How was your week? What are you up to this weekend?

Yarn Along #93--new project, finished project, project in progress.....

yarn along, books, knittingEmily DeArdo1 Comment

I missed this last week, so was happy that Ginny didn’t have the link up and I missed it, because last week was insane (see here for why). But now I’m (knock wood!) feeling like I am ready to get back into rhythm in all ways, and that includes knitting! (I’m not sure if Ginny will have a link-up this week either, but here’s my knitting and reading anyway!

New project

For some reason, I always cast on some new project Thanksgiving weekend. I don’t know why. It must be some sort of switch in my brain. “Ah! Turkey! Must cast on new project!”

So this year it’s one I’ve already done before—the Skye cowl—but in a deliciously autumnal color that I ordered while I was in the Resort. (My journal is full of knitting scribbles—some of which are really just that, scribbles!—about projects and colors and types of yarn….the meds obviously made me go nuts in this department!) The color is Quince’s malbec, in their puffin yarn, which is so nice and squishy and knits up beautifully. I think I twisted stitches somewhere, but honestly, I don’t really want to rip it out. I don’t mind a cowl with a twist in it. If it was a hat, obviously, I would’ve had to start again. But with a basic cowl? Meh. So I didn’t and I just keep knitting.

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Finished project

My Felicity scarf, made of Colonial Williamsburg yarn! Yay!

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Simple, but I really liked working with this yarn. It’s thick enough that you can cross it over your upper chest but not so thick that a coat won’t close nicely over it. It’s also nice to grab if I’m just running out to get the mail and want something a little warmer over my top, but not a whole coat.


In Progress Project

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Yup, I’m still working on the Isla scarf. This takes four skeins of yarn, so it’s a long process, but I’m about halfway through the third skein, so the end is nigh!

Reading….

You can see my pile there. I read When Less Becomes More last month, and it’s probably my favorite of Emily’s books to date. My Aunt Mary got me The Dutch House when I was in the hospital and I (sadly) have not started it yet, but it’s the next book I’ll start! A Single Thread was a Christmas gift (early) and that’s after The Dutch House.

(Speaking of books—pre-orders for Living Memento Mori are open…..)

How about you? Are you knitting any Christmas gifts? What are you reading?



Seven Quick Takes--The Medical Saga Endeth (we think)

7 Quick Takes, CF, health, hearing loss, the bookEmily DeArdo1 Comment
seven quick takes.jpg

Linking up with Kelly!


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So, here’s a spicy take I wrote this week about Medicare!


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And here’s the follow up:

So, we got the great folks at the CFF involved (they have a team that just looks at insurance stuff). They came to the same conclusion we did: that there really is no plan that covers everything, but that hospitals and doctors and I will make it work. (think Cinderella’s sisters: “I’ll make it fit!”) NCH doesn’t normally have a lot of Medicare people (because, it’s a, um, Children’s hospital), but….”they’ll take it”, says the finance office. (Thank you finance office!)

What I kept hearing from everyone was “well, we haven’t had to deal with this before.” Yes, I am the one that is trail blazing for everyone else. Future generations, YOU ARE WELCOME! I expect copious floral arrangements on my grave and Masses offered after I die. :-p

So, my hospitals are (sort of) covered. My main doctors—as in, the Big Three—are covered. The next issue?

The Prograf (or, THE GRAF).


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The prograf is the med that basically keeps me alive. It keeps my lungs from realizing that they aren’t actually, um, the factory setting. :-D

Now, when I was emailing my nurse about this, she said, “Well, we can always try generic.”

“What do you mean?” quoth I. “Generic doesn’t work for me!”

“Well, the formulation is a lot better now, and the hospital is even considering switching its formulary to the generic,” nurse said.

AH! Well, that would solve problems!

Or….would it????

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So I go to the insurance site. I plug in generic prograf, expecting to see massive cost savings and ease of access!

Hahahaha.

NO.

Generic Prograf is covered—but as a tier 4 med, meaning it’s like, non-preferred, no one wants to use it, and then I see, oh, step therapy may be applied.

Step therapy, for you new people, is when you have to try other drugs first before the company will pay for the med you want.

Yeah, we’re not doing that with the drug that keeps me alive.

So, what we’re going to do is go through prior authoritzation stuff, and we won’t have to pay out the nose, because I qualify for the Medicare Extra Help program (which is a great thing, so kudos there), so we can’t pay more than a certain very low amount.

So.

I have picked a plan. The saga is over. (For this year!)


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In other news, my tree is up, and Susan the Corgi is ready to celebrate….

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And I think I’m doing buying gifts. That’s exciting. :)

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I had my first book interview on Wednesday with the delightful Fr. Patrick, O.P. We talked for forty-five minutes about all sorts of good stuff! The interview probably won’t be up until January, but when it is, I’ll let you know! I’ll be posting all media related to the book on the book’s page. . (And pre-order links, to a variety of retaliers, are there are well! Amazon US, Canada, and UK; Barnes and Noble; Indiebound….)

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Just a note about what Kelly wrote about today—how we tell the stories of the disabled.

One of the things I’ve noticed, especially as the practice euthanasia almost on demand rises, is that people don’t really understand life with a disability, or an illness. They think they do. They imagine the horrors of it.

But honestly, that isn’t the way it works.

When I lost my hearing, it was very gradual, over a period of years. It was gradual. Now, if I’d lost it all at once, yes, that would’ve been traumatic, and highly so.

Did I grieve losing my hearing? Um, yes. A lot.

But when it came to CF stuff, it was gradual. I still enjoyed my life, and I do enjoy my life, even with insanely stressful weeks like this week.

Being disabled makes things harder, but it doesn’t make my life worthless or less.



Why Medicare for All Is a Terrible Idea

health, politicsEmily DeArdo3 Comments
med bottles.jpeg

OK, I know, some of you don’t like political posts.

And this is political, in the sense that, all the candidates who are pushing “Medicare for All” are not candidates that should be voted for, amen.

But, really, this is a look at how Medicare “works”—as someone who is currently going through the incredibly difficult work of selecting a plan.

Here’s why it’s hard:

  1. I take a medication that must be the brand medication. I cannot take the generic because we can’t get what’s called a “therapeutic level” with it. The drug in question? Prograf. The drug that basically keeps me alive. So, I have to take brand name Prograf, which is expensive.

  2. I see all the normal doctors people see—dentist, eye doctor, etc. But I also see special specialists. Meaning, doctors that are not normal run of the mill doctors.

  3. I also see these doctors in two separate hospital systems—The Resort, and OSU (Ohio State).

So, we must find a plan that covers my meds, my doctors, and my hospitals.

Under private insurance, this was not hard at all. I just typed in names and meds, saw they were covered, signed up. Done. It took less than a half hour.

Private insurance did not like to pay for prograf, but it did. And if it didn’t, then the manufacturer had a Prograf saver card I could use to reduce the out of pocket costs.

Now, I have Medicare.

And here are all the problems.

  1. There are plans that refuse to cover prograf. It’s not even in their formulary. It just says, “not covered.” Even though this med is basically what keeps me alive. There are many, many plans who do not cover it in any way, shape, or form.

  2. There are plans that cover the med, but not my doctors. As in, one entire group of plans refuses to cover any OSU doctors. OHIO STATE! One of the top-ranked systems in the country!

These are, to put it mildly, big problems.

My dad and I have spent at least three days—as in, hours upon hours!—on the phone with people, looking at plans on line, until our eyes have crossed and our brains have melted.

Because a plan will cover some of these things—but then we’ll see, oh, there’s no out of pocket max. Well, that’s gonna get expensive, quickly.

They’ll cover my endocrinologist, but not my transplant doctor!

They’ll cover doctors, but not meds!

Or meds, but not doctors or hospitals!

Do we see the problem here?

Oh, and to make it even better, Medicaid will cover Prograf. But Medicare plans don’t!

And the copay card? Doesn’t work for Medicare patients. Only private insurance patients—when Prograf was covered by my private insurance!

This is insanity.

They’ll cover things like acupuncture and chiropractic, but not the med that keeps me alive. Not top doctors at top medical facilities. Nah. That’s too hard.

Also, it’s insanely complicated to compare plans. They don’t always list what doctors are covered, or what meds are covered. They don’t mention facilities. They put in stuff like Silver Sneakers—well, goodie, a free gym pass!—but not stuff that is actually life saving and vital!

How about we not cover gym costs, and instead, cover medications that keep people alive?

Oh, and. This is the good part.

Here’s an NYT story on this issue. Medicare will cover transplant meds if the transplant occurred while the person was on Medicare. NOT BEFORE.

This is the biggest piece of insanity I have ever seen. These are drugs that we know work. They are not new therapies, they’re not snake oil. They are proven. And yet, no, I’m sorry, we won’t cover that.

We have presidential candidates saying that this insanely complicated, twisted, insane system should be the one health care provider for the entire nation?

No.

Or, to be spicy, HELL NO.

Thanksgiving

holidaysEmily DeArdoComment
“Freedom from Want”, Norman Rockwell

“Freedom from Want”, Norman Rockwell

The Thanksgiving Proclamation of 1789 (with original spellings)

By the President of the United States of America, a Proclamation.

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God, to obey his will, to be grateful for his benefits, and humbly to implore his protection and favor-- and whereas both Houses of Congress have by their joint Committee requested me to recommend to the People of the United States a day of public thanksgiving and prayer to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many signal favors of Almighty God especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness.

Now therefore I do recommend and assign Thursday the 26th day of November next to be devoted by the People of these States to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be-- That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks--for his kind care and protection of the People of this Country previous to their becoming a Nation--for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his Providence which we experienced in the course and conclusion of the late war--for the great degree of tranquility, union, and plenty, which we have since enjoyed--for the peaceable and rational manner, in which we have been enabled to establish constitutions of government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national One now lately instituted--for the civil and religious liberty with which we are blessed; and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; and in general for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

and also that we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions-- to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually--to render our national government a blessing to all the people, by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed--to protect and guide all Sovereigns and Nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us) and to bless them with good government, peace, and concord--To promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the encrease of science among them and us--and generally to grant unto all Mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

Given under my hand at the City of New York the third day of October in the year of our Lord 1789.

Go: Washington

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Seven Quick Takes--My Book's First Picture, Gallbladder test, and more!

7 Quick Takes, writing, the book, Take Up and ReadEmily DeArdo4 Comments
seven quick takes.jpg

linking up with Kelly!

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Look at my beautiful baby’s first picture! Thank you Ave Maria Design Department!

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Isn’t she pretty?!

So yeah, I love this a lot. They also made me new graphics for Facebook and Twitter so if you follow me there, you’ll see those lovelies!

THANK YOU to everyone who has pre-ordered! If you want to, go here. (It makes a good Christmas present!!!! It’ll just come later, which extends Christmas joy!)




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So on Monday I had a HIDA scan at OSU East hospital. The test wasn’t terrible. Well, at the time. But it did require an IV—to stay in for a few hours.

Well, that was a lovely piece of information….

It’s also a two part test, which I didn’t know.

So, the first part is: Put in IV (poor guy who had to do it…I was laying on the gurney [which was supremely comfortable! Really!] thinking, if we don’t get access, we can’t do this test….) We got access. It wasn’t very comfortable. I have bruises all over my arms right now, so my veins need a break for like, two weeks, minimum.

Anyway!

So we got the IV in. The contrast was pushed in. Then I went out to waiting room for an hour while the contrast worked. OK .

Came back into the room, took the pictures, took about four minutes. Great.

Then we went to part two: AKA, nap time. (I had woken up at 6 AM for this test. I was ready for a nap.)

This part is the “stress test”. They take was is basically the fat content of an Ensure drink and drip it very very slowly —as in it takes an hour—through the IV. This stresses the gallbladder. Then pictures are taken to see how it is moving through.

So I took a nap, then woke up an hour later when the IV beeped. A nurse came, rolled me back to the scan room, took the photos, took out the IV, and I was free.

I was insanely thirsty because I couldn’t drink anything, so I got some Sprite Zeros from the cafeteria, and Dad and I went to lunch. (He had to drive me, per their rules.)

Fortunately I had some phenergan left over from my previous hospital adventures….

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because over the next few days, my stomach was not happy with the stuff that had been forced into me. So I felt nauseated, tired, and just weird for two days. Sigh. But I feel better now, so I hope that I don’t need to darken a medical doorway for the next few months!




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With the newfound energy, I have written out all my Christmas cards and begun mailing Christmas gifts. I want to mail them early. I also live right down the street from the post office so it makes mailing things and getting more stamps insanely convenient.




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I take Christmas so seriously that I have a gift and card spreadsheet.

Yup. I’m weird.




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If you missed it: my post on how girls need a plan!

And: The Real Lucy Pevensie (whose feast day was last week!)

It’s also St. Cecilia’s Day, so here’s some music! And the poem by Dryden!

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Still looking for an Advent journal? You can get Take Up & Read’s!!!! And it’s on sale RIGHT NOW! (as of this writing, Thursday night. I hope it still is when this goes live!)

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Plan A, Plan B, Plan C....

essaysEmily DeArdo2 Comments
Two sisters on a terrace…..waiting for a guy…..

Two sisters on a terrace…..waiting for a guy…..

If you’re on Twitter, and you follow me (Or really, follow Catholic Twitter), you’ve probably noticed the ongoing debate about women and college. There are people who think that, if a girl wants to be a stay at home mom (SAHM), that she doesn’t need to go to college. She doesn’t need the degree, she doesn’t need debt, she just needs a husband! Then all her problems will be solved!

Guys. (Ladies?) Let Auntie Em tell you some things.

Number 1: You can go to college without debt

You can. Really. It’s true! I did it! Part of that was because my parents had saved money for me (and my siblings). Part of that was that I chose a college we could afford—and by afford, I mean that my parents told me, very early on (like, freshman year of high school) that if I wanted to go there, I had to get scholarships, because we couldn’t afford it without them.

I got said scholarships. With scholarships, and my parents’ savings, and the savings bonds I had been given as gifts since I was a wee bairn, I went to college without debt.

So, yes, it can be done. (I realize it cannot be done for everyone. I know I had good parents.)

But that’s not really the point here.

The point is, girls—you need a plan.

Number 2: The man might not show up

I was engaged in college. Yes I was.

I am not married now.

We didn’t get married. Which was a good decision, on the whole (that’s not a smear on the guy. It’s a fact based on where I was at the time, and that we were incompatible, and we were engaged for the wrong reasons. But not going into that here!).

But, my goal, as a 19 year old, was to get married, have kids, and be a SAHM. That’s what I’d always wanted to do with my life.

Honestly, it’s still what I want to do with my life.

But….I’m 37. I can’t have kids. (Naturally, anyway. I’d adopt!) And I’m not married.

Some people—and yes, these people exist—would say that I shouldn’t have left my parents’ house, that my father should still be “in charge” of me, and that I am doing everything wrong by having an independent life. Because, apparently we all live in a Jane Austen novel where unmarried ladies are supported by their fathers or brothers forever.


If you want to see how awesome that was….remember the scene in the 1995 Sense and Sensibility, where John is talking about how much he’ll “give” his mother and his sisters to live on, and his wife keeps wanting it reduced? Yeah. That. Fun times!

So, look, ladies.

The man might not show up, no matter how much you want him to. Or he might show up really late in the game!

And until then….you have to be able to support yourself. That doesn’t necessarily mean college, but it does mean a skill set that you can use to feed, clothe, and house yourself!

Number 3: The kids might not show up!

Do we really need to say this? I mean, I think everyone knows someone who has trouble getting pregnant, or can’t have kids. So if you want to be a SAHM…..the “mom” part might be an issue.

And I’ve been there. I am there. I understand how sucky that is, trust me.

So if the kids don’t show up, what are you going to do?

Think about it. You might be perfectly find staying home and taking care of the house and husband and yourself sans kids. It’s an option. But….think about it.

I’ve always cringed when I watch shows like the Duggars or something, where everyone assumes they’re going to get married.

That’s not true, guys.

Or, they assume kids will come.

Also not true, guys!

I fully, fully support SAHM life. I am the daughter and granddaughter of SAHMs. I love them. I wanted to be one. My mom is amazing—she worked before I was born, she worked before she met my dad, and boy howdy she “worked” after, just without a pay check…..she can give (and constitute) IV meds, she can do burn dressing changes, she accesses and flushes my port every month, she is awesome. There are times when she seriously knows more than some nurses do. (My sister is a nurse, so no shame being cast here, guys.) Without her, I know I wouldn’t have been as healthy as I was. So when I say I love SAHMs, I do—I wanted to be one.

But ladies. We have to think about other things. We have to have Plan B. We can’t sit around singing “Someday My Prince Will Come” and waltzing with brooms. I mean, we can, but that’s a leeeeetle weird!


So, ladies—I am here to tell you.

Have a plan that doesn’t involve getting married. Because you might need it.

edited to add:

Even if you do get married, it’s good to have skills.
Your husband could die! He could get hurt or sick! He could become disabled!

And then you’d have to be the one providing for the family.

So, think about it!

Seven Quick Takes--Winter Came, and an Advent Devotional!

7 Quick Takes, Take Up and ReadEmily DeArdoComment
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Yes, winter showed up in Ohio—it was in the twenties and teens on Tuesday this week, and Orchard House got its first snow. Since I didn’t have to go out in it, I didn’t mind it, and the snow looked beautiful with the Hawthorn tree outside my window—the red berries make a lovely contrast. So I enjoyed it.

And it’s also November. Snow in mid-November is fine in Ohio. When we get it in October, I get a little grumpy. But I’m OK with snow until about the first week of January and then it can go away. :-p (I really only like snow around the holidays.)


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Advent is coming, and I want to show you the newest Take Up & Read Devotional—O Radiant Dawn, for Advent and Christmas….


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We’re doing a special focus on the O Antiphons, and the book goes from Advent through New Year’s Day. It’s exquisitely gorgeous—our designer, Kristin Foss, has done wonderful things with this book. All of our books have great production values because of her, but this one really takes the cake.

O Antiphons, drawn by Kristin Foss.

O Antiphons, drawn by Kristin Foss.




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Look at the lectio pages

Look at the lectio pages


We work really hard to make these beautiful and useful devotionals for you, and I hope you enjoy them. If you are a long-time fan and customer, thank you! If you’re new….come check us out!

You can get your copy here.

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Being home from the Resort means that my sleeping schedule is still weird…..I’m staying up too late and sleeping in, so I’m all over the place. And the house is still sort of a mess, although I’m working on getting it back to baseline. Basically, being in the hospital demonstrates how true the concept of entropy is—that everything is working toward chaos all the time, ALL THE TIME!!!!!!

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What are you doing for Thanksgiving? We stay pretty low key; Christmas is our big family holiday. So it’ll just be my parents and I. My brother spends it with his wife’s family, and my sister and her husband are staying out in Colorado.

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On Monday I’m going to one of OSU’s branch hospitals to have a HIDA scan done. Basically it’s a test that stresses my gallbladder and sees how it does, and also we can get a scan of what my gallbladder looks like. If there are issues, it’s coming out. If there are sort of issues, I think it’s staying in until it acts up again, and then it might come out? And if it looks fine, we’ll just watch it. Three options. By the end of the day Monday we’ll know which door we’re going through. I’m sort of on team take it out, but…not my call!

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Obviously, massive thanks to everyone who has pre ordered the book! If you haven’t, you can do so here. Pre-orders are so helpful, both in building buzz and in letting the publisher know how many copies to make for the first printing!


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I have Disney+, and I like it an awful lot. Having a the Disney movies at my fingertips? WINNER. And I’m also loving rewatching Boy Meets World, except that I had forgotten that the class in the show was my age—it debuted in the fall of 1993, when I was in sixth grade, so that’s how old the characters are. This was brought home in an episode where Mr. Feeny had them imagine their futures and threw a mock 20th class reunion….that took place in 2020.

As in, next year.

































Seven Quick Takes--Home

7 Quick Takes, the bookEmily DeArdoComment
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So I’m home! Yay!

I got home Wednesday afternoon and I’ve spent a lot of time sleeping and just sort of reading and resting—what fun, right? At 37 you find that you don’t recover from hospital stays quite as quickly as you did when you were twenty-seven, but, that’s OK. It’s not like I have any pressing appointments!


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If you missed the big news, BOOK PRE-ORDERS ARE OPEN!!!!!!!!

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So, book pre-orders made my hospital stay pretty darn exciting, I have to say. It at least gave me something to do besides watch endless HGTV!

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If you have Netflix, watch The King. It’s actually really good—roughly based on Shakespeare’s Henry V (and some of Henry IV 1 and 2), as well as regular old history, it makes for good watching. Great cast. (Robert Pattinson is an especially delightful over-the-top Dauphin.) Of course liberties are taken with history, because….that’s how we roll, apparently. :) Our stories need closure, dang it! (And fun characters—Falstaff, as Falstaff, didn’t exist, but Shakespeare knew how to write a good character.)

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So I’m not going to make it to seven today, but I did want to pop in, say hi, plug the pre-orders, and assure y’all that I’m still alive. :) Have a great weekend!

Pre-Orders are OPEN!!!!

the bookEmily DeArdoComment
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Rejoice and be glad!

The pre-orders for Living Memento Mori: My Journey through the Stations of the Cross, are now open!!!!!


So, go pre-order!!!!

Amazon US, Amazon Canada, Amazon UK

Barnes and Noble

Indiebound


You can also ask your local Catholic bookstore to order a copy for you!


And you can add the book to your Goodreads shelf!


I am so excited!!! This is a day I’ve been waiting for for, well, ever actually—the day that a book I wrote is available at real bookstores!



If you have any questions, put them in the comments or email me at hello@emilymdeardo.com

Greetings From the Resort

essays, healthEmily DeArdo3 Comments
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Yes, I’m back in the Resort.

For new readers, I started calling Children’s Hospital “The Resort” once I started working, because all my vacation days ended up being spent here, and the name stuck.

On Thursday I started having a lot of abdominal pain. After I talked to the nurses at clinic, they mentioned that I had gall stones on my last CT scan that I had when I had the Awful, Nasty Stomach Bug. So back I went to the local ER (It’s run by a local hospital, so it’s a good one, not like some tiny little thing), where they ran tests and determined that I had….pancreatitis.

My old friend!

I haven’t had a bout of this in years, but once that diagnosis came in, I knew what I was in for. So Mom and I went back to my place, I packed a bag, and dad drove me to Children’s, where I am currently writing this.

The treatment for pancreatitis is: IV fluids, anti-nausea meds, and pain meds. That’s in. Blood is drawn daily to see how the lipase (a pancreatic enzyme) is doing—with pancreatitis this number is high. We want it to be around 50 or so, and today mine was 480 sometimes, which is still better than the 1600 it was when I was first admitted!

Giselle the Unicorn.

Giselle the Unicorn.

So, all in all, not too bad, except for being in a hospital, but even that’s not bad, because I don’t really get bothered. There’s no fancy treatment for this, just meds through an IV line. At some point I’ll try eating “clears” (broth, jello, etc.) and if that stays down then we’ll try more substantial foods.

So, that’s where I am right now. But big news coming later this week! (If you already subscribe to the blog, you know what the news is….)


Endocrinology (Or: Not Personal Failure!)

essays, healthEmily DeArdo1 Comment
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So the past two weeks have been sort of nuts, and hence why I haven’t written. So I’ll bring you up to speed and explain the title.


After my last post, I got a killer stomach bug, and I ended up in the ER. When you’re me—meaning, you take a lot of meds, you have blood sugar level issues, and you need to be able to keep things down—you don’t really “wait out” a stomach bug. (In fact, I learned today I get to give myself four hours before going to an ER for treatment.)

So after a day of nausea and 12 hours of vomiting (WHAT JOY) and abdominal pain, I took myself to the local free-standing ER, which is excellent. My mom met me there, Dad drove my car home, and four hours later I’d had IV fluids, anti-emetics (anti-vomiting meds), and pain meds, I felt a lot better, everything calmed down, and I got to go home. I spend Tuesday sort of out of it. Wednesday had a ton of energy and did laundry and some taking out of trash. Thursday, pretty back to normal—but I needed to take my car to the service place to get a tire patched. Friday, normalcy! Saturday, Harry Potter tea with my writers ‘ group (post on that coming), and I went to Mass for the first time in two weeks. Hallelujah!



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So, that was last week. This week, the tire repair didn’t hold, so I had to call AAA to put the spare on on Monday, get the tire checked out Tuesday, to find out I need a new tire, which will be on my car tomorrow, which meant that I had to borrow my mom’s car to get to my endocrinology appointment today.

Honestly, I was really freaked about this appointment. I had visions of insulin shots multiple times a day and constant finger sticks and food restrictions and all sorts of evil things conjured by the word “diabetes.” I really, really, really didn’t want a heavy-duty diagnosis. I was freaked out.

I had a long appointment today (2 hours), where I met with great, wonderful, smart people, who went over my history and all my labs with a fine-tooth comb. They looked at everything. They asked about family history. The fact that my mom has five sisters, and that my grandma is almost 90 and in pretty darn good health, is great for my doctors because there’s a lot of female family history to look at when we’re talking about health indicators.

My endocrinologist thinks that what I have is a type of CF related diabetes (CFRD), which is not Type 1 diabetes, even though insulin is involved, and it’s not type 2 diabetes. It’s its own special thing. But what this did for me was release a big burden I’d been carrying around—the idea that I had done this to myself. That if I had done more or tried harder or whatever, that I wouldn’t have been in that office.

That’s not the case. Dr. W (the new doc) said that just about every CF person will get CFRD at some point, because we’re living longer. The severity will vary, but it’s probably going to happen. Throw in the fact that I’m on three drugs that mess around with blood sugar production and regulation, and, yeah. This was, most likely, going to happen.

We don’t exactly have a plan yet, because we need data, which will be provided by two things:

Me checking my blood glucose level at various times a day

Me wearing a continuous glucose monitor (CGM) for a week. This little do-dad checks your blood sugar every five minutes with a little sensor. So we’ll get tons of data, cascades of data! And with that data, we can make a plan.

The other great thing as that this doctor asked me if I was OK with this plan. That’s so important to me. I want to be OK with what we’re doing. And with this doctor, I do. I feel secure and I trust her to do the right thing to get things under control.

So even though I’m going to be doing a lot of finger sticks over the next few days/weeks, I don’t really mind. Because I don’t feel like a total failure, like I brought this upon myself. I didn’t. This is the result of being 37 with CF and a double-lung transplant. It’s the way it goes.

We get the data, we make a plan, and we move on.



Living in a World of Octobers

family, journalEmily DeArdo2 Comments
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On Saturday Mom and Dad and I went to Granville, a small town about a half hour from where we live, and spent the afternoon there. There were delicious juicy burgers, parents with their kids, custard, some sketching (yay!), and delights at a stationery store.

October has been particularly beautiful this year in Ohio, and I’m glad that despite everything else that’s going on and driving me crazy, that the beauty is all around and there to be enjoyed and drunk up.

(Isn’t that last picture a shot of stereotypical small town America? School bus, church, changing leaves….)

Seven Quick Takes--Etc.

7 Quick TakesEmily DeArdo2 Comments
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Linking up with Kelly


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I had a clinic appointment on Monday, which was OK. I mean, the lungs are fine, the immunosuppression levels are fine….I’m just not super looking forward to the endocrinologist visit on the thirtieth. The doctor gets great reviews from clinic—everyone seems to like her and she seems really competent (more than competent!), but I just don’t want to see another doctor. But, I will. So that’s coming up, but at least I’m more than halfway through the list of doctor appointments crammed into this month!

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One of the things that’s hard for me, as a person with a chronic illness, is that I don’t get to do a lot of things on my own terms. If you read any sort of weight loss/ health book, one of the first things the writer will say is “Do it for you, do what you like, throw out your scale”—with the idea being that making health changes shouldn’t be dependent on the feedback you get, like, weight loss, or what someone else wants for you, because that won’t make the changes stick. You have to do it for you.

I never get to “do it for me.”

I’d be fine with a few walks around the neighborhood, a few yoga flows, some ballet beautiful here and there. I know that my body does like to move, it needs to move in certain ways (thank you, knee messed up from meds that requires lots of love!). I know that. And I’m fine with that.

But the problem is, that’s not enough for all the people I see. They want results. They want a program, 30/40 minutes every day, with results. They want weight loss (we won’t talk about how the Terrible Insulin Experiment led to weight gain…..). They want results.

So I don’t get to do it for me. I do it for them.

Sometimes I think about Amber—we talked about this a lot. She told me once that she exercised to punish her body—to bend it to her will, to make it to what she wanted. And I never wanted to do that. I don’t want to punish my body. Lord knows it’s been punished enough, poor thing. I want it to behave, but I don’t want to subdue it to my will and punish it.

A lot of the time, I feel like I’m trying—and failing spectacularly—to do what everyone wants me to do. But what I want never really figures into it. What I am comfortable with, the results I want to see—they’re not enough. So, yeah, it’s extremely frustrating. I’m not really sure how to deal with that frustration right now, to be honest with you.

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So, this month of doctors (and all the appointments have been pretty good—things are stable, or are clearing up [sinuses, yay!]) has led me to be crankier/sadder than usual. I don’t really like it, but there it is. And I do try to be honest with you, blog readers. :) I will never, ever not love being alive. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t times when I’d like to call a time out and just try to live like other people do for, you know, a month. Six months.

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Anddd OK, got that out. :)

I should have the finalized book cover—and news for you about the awesome person who wrote the preface—very very very soon. I actually thought it would be this week, but who knows (it could happen later today!)

Anyway, if you want all the exciting news first, sign up for the newsletter. Please and thank you.

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You might not notice but there are some changes round the blog! I have an events page set up, which hopefully will have some items on it in the future, such as book signings and appearances and stuff like that! I also have a blog email: hello@emilymdeardo.com. If you have questions, want signed books (eventually), press, etc…..all of that stuff goes to this email address!

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If you’ve never seen Script Ohio, please change that and watch it:

Even if you do not like football, Script Ohio is superb. and deserves lots of love!

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Fall is in earnest here, which makes me happy. The hawthorn tree outside Orchard House is heavy with berries, the leaves are changing colors, and I saw this little guy on my walk yesterday:







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Have a great weekend!

Seven Quick Takes--"Shut up!" She Said

7 Quick TakesEmily DeArdoComment
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This week on the blog…..retreat!

Part One

Part Two

Part Three


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That also explains the title……guys, really, we need to shut up. We need to have silence with God so we can hear Him! We gotta stop filling our lives with noise!

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From Catholic Mom: Is A Silent Retreat Impossible?

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I wrote a post a long time ago on an old blog—I have no idea where the original post is—but the gist of it was that people are terrified of silence these days. This was before everyone had earbuds in all the time, but it was when it was getting really popular.

It seems like people can’t walk down the street these days without earbuds in. They can’t be in their houses without the TV on or something streaming from somewhere. There is no silence. There must be noise, all the time. And this isn’t good. (First off, hearing loss much?)

Now, I say this as a person who wrote a lot of her college papers with background noise on. I still do like music or a movie in the background if I’m doing something like knitting, or even, occasionally, writing things. (Not the book. That was written in mostly silence!) What I’m talking about is noise all the time. Everywhere. Constantly.

We have to bring back silence. I didn’t really realize this until I started to lose my hearing, but man, silence really is golden.

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And if you think about this from a perspective of God—we’re supposed to love God. Imagine your closest relationship, say, your spouse. If all you did was drown out your spouse, if you talked over him all the time and never let him talk, if you never listened to him—ever—then how would that relationship go?

Probably not well.

It’s the same with God. We have to have dialogue. We have to listen and talk. And a lot of the time, we’re not listening. We’re not even giving him an opening. We’re just…..blasting him out.

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And we can even see this in our worship—is there time for silence at Mass? We don’t have to have a post-communion hymn, y’know. We could just…have….silence. So people can pray! So they can listen to God!

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Yeah, I’m on my soapbox about silence this week. :) But I think it’s an important thing to talk about. Not just in retreats, although I suggest you go on one. Not just in silent adoration, although I recommend that, too! We need silence in our lives in general. Focus on what’s happening. Try not to be distracted by the phone!

So I guess you could call this retreat series part four. :) Next week I’ll write something non-retreat related….I hope to have a big announcement for the book by this time next week! Fingers crossed!!!!!